Really Good Quotes

November 5, 2008

November 5th, 2008
Really Good Quotes  "A mind, once expanded by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
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Greetings, Quotaholics:


It seems like as soon as we are able to hold a pencil or crayon we try to draw. Sometimes our choice of drawing surface is the walls or floors of our homes, but eventually we learn that our artistic endeavors are better suited to paper.

Once we begin school our artistic side is usually encouraged. I remember there being plenty of time devoted to art in grade school. Especially around holidays we were given holiday art projects.

Left on our own most of the boys were drawing monsters, cars, trucks, guns, planes and ships. When Halloween came around we were encouraged to draw pictures that included devils, monsters, vampires, cats, and jack-o-lanterns.

I realize that was a different time, nowadays kids get arrested for drawing guns or soldiers shooting people. But what if the teacher encouraged the students to draw monsters? Should they be punished for what they draw?

According to last Fridays Savannah Morning News, Pooler Elementary School art teacher Lloyd Harold assigned a special drawing activity. ‘The assignment was to draw a scary mask or picture - basically a Halloween activity,’ Harold said.”

“Jordan (Hood) drew a scarred vampire with bloodshot eyes and with blood dripping from its nose, mouth and down its cheeks. Art teacher Lloyd Harold helped the boy shade the sketched eyes to give the drawing an even creepier look.”

“As a final gory touch, Jordan used a red marker to write ‘I Kill For Blood’ under his drawing.”

It appears that the art class was a success. The teacher helped Jordan with his picture and everyone seemed pleased.

“However, when Jordan’s homeroom teacher, Melissa Pevey, saw the drawing, she found it disturbing. Pevey was concerned enough to contact assistant principal Valerie Johnson and Campus Police.”

“But it wasn’t blood and gore that bothered Pevey. She believed the blood looked a lot like gang-related teardrop tattoos, and she thought the words ‘I Kill For Blood’ could be tied to an infamous Los Angeles street gang known as The Bloods.”

“By the end of the day, Jordan was being told he could not return to Pooler Elementary School until he passed a psychological evaluation.”

“Although he only lost about two hours of instruction, his mother fears the incident also might cost him a bit of innocence and trust. ‘He didn’t know anything about gang symbols until the teacher accused him,’ she said.”

I don’t really know what to say. It’s not like this is a Los Angeles school where The Bloods might be an influence. It’s not like the child drew the picture all on his own. The art teacher asked the students to draw a scary picture and even helped.

Isn’t it time adults backed off a little bit and let kids be kids? I know there have been some tragic incidents involving children and violence in schools, but most kids are just that, kids! They have no intention of killing anybody.

Did the homeroom teacher overreact? Was it appropriate to make the child have a psychological evaluation? If this was your child or grandchild wouldn’t you be upset by the way he was treated? What, in your opinion, would have been the best way to handle this?

Artistically,




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Today's Quotes


"A committee has six or more legs and no brain." - Anonymous

"A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done." - Fred Allen

"Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of witnesses." - Margaret Miller

Today's Chuckle

A Month Overdue
[Thanks to Bonnie in Louisiana]

Mr. Wilson comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck. I have great news. I’m a month overdue. I think we’re going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can’t tell anybody."

The next day, Mrs. Wilson receives a telephone call from AEC (Atlanta Electric Company) because the electricity bill has not been paid.

"Am I speaking to Mrs. Wilson?"

"Yes. Speaking."

AEC guy, "You’re a month overdue, you know!"

"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.

"Well, ma’am, it’s in our files!" says the AEC guy.

"What are you saying? It’s in your files. HOW?"

"Yes. We have a system of finding out who’s overdue."

"GOD! This is too much."

"Madam, I am sorry. I am following orders. I have to inform you are overdue."

"I know that. Let me talk to my husband about this tonight. He will speak to your company tomorrow."

That night, she tells her husband about the call, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to AEC office the next day morning.

"What’s going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue?  What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.

"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at AEC, "It’s nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."

"PAY you? And if I refuse?"

"Well, in that case, sir, we’d have no option but to cut yours off."

"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.

"I don’t know. I guess she’d have to use a candle.

Life Sentences

"Discovery consists of seeing what everyone has seen and thinking what no one
else has thought.” - Albert Szent Gyorgi


”‘Well done’ is better than ‘well said’.” - Benjamin Franklin

Image'n That

Child’s Toy

Imp-Revised News

E-Mail the Imp


This will be a short article. It may well contain double entendres. There will be no long speculations or ‘what if’s’; I’m actually at a loss for words.

We humans have one upped ourselves. We are not content with Mother Nature’s design of our bodies; we try to improve on the grand design. Admittedly there are several possibilities or designs of any given part of the body and mixing and matching those with other body parts of nearly infinite design we come up with billions of people as individual as snowflakes. Identical twins excluded. We always seem to see a body part on someone else that we’d like to have. (With me it’s a thin waist and washboard abs)

Tens of thousands of years ago we started altering natures design by applying colors and designs to our skin by painting and then tattooing. We cut our hair and shaped our hair by combing and braiding. We grew beards and shaved our faces. We started body piercing and invented jewelry. Hell, we invented cosmetology before language!

We invented padded breasts, padded butts, padded groins (codpiece), false eyelashes, and wigs. We developed false teeth. We developed breast, butt, and chin implants. We developed tummy tucks and face lifts, and a whole series of surgical techniques to lift and shift anything that’s liftable or shiftable. We have Botox injections for pouty lips and liposuction for skinny hips. We have rings and things piercing every conceivable body part from labia rings to Prince Albert’s. The mere thought of these brings tears to my eyes.

We have finally come to the point where we replace what we have taken away. Now available in several sizes (one size could never fit all, though size isn’t supposed to matter), we have faux foreskins. SenSlip is marketing turtlenecks for our little (at least in my case) friends.

Gag a maggot. What the hell is next? Anal implants to rehab the well stretched sphincters of willing bum boys?

The Bad Sied 

Most Embarrassing or Scary Moment


Speak Up!

Speak right up!

Patti's Parenthetical Past

On this day in history,
November 5, 1885: Will Durant is born in North Adams, Massachusetts. His early education was overseen by Jesuits at St. Peter’s Preparatory School. He continued to study at St. Peter’s College and graduated in 1907. He first worked as a reporter and then began teaching at Seton Hall College. He subjects were Latin, French, English, and geometry and he was the librarian, as well. He switched jobs and went to Ferrier Modern School, an experimental libertarian venue. He met a young immigrant and quit his job in order to marry his student. Ariel was 15 and he was 28 when they wed.

The Story of Civilization begins with Our Oriental Heritage and continues through 12 volumes. There are over 2 million words printed on nearly 10,000 pages. Will wrote the first 6 volumes and acknowledged his wife’s help and the last six were co-authored by the couple. The Story is incomplete. The Durants wished to tell the world’s story up to the 20th century. While they were both granted long lives, Will died in 1981 at age 96 just weeks after Ariel, they never got to finish their work. It ended with The Age of Napoleon. Their life/love story was published in 1977 – A Dual Autobiography.



"Civilization begins with order, grows with liberty, and dies with chaos." - Will Durant




"Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance." - Will Durant



"Civilization exists by geological consent, subject to change without notice." - Will Durant


Kids' Weird Words, The Date from Hell, How I Met My Mate
Kirsten's Krazy Kaleidoscope

Email Kirsten

“I like to see a man proud of the place in which he lives. I like to see a man live so that his place will be proud of him.”
~ Abraham Lincoln ~

It was a big day for me today. I took one final look through the documents, sealed the envelope, wished it luck, and held my breath as I dropped it into the mailbox. By Thursday morning, the envelope will have arrived at its destination in Nova Scotia, and shortly thereafter its contents will be under scrutiny by the first in a series of people. Their collective responsibility will be to determine whether I am worthy to be granted status as a Canadian citizen. If my application succeeds, I will be required to pass a written citizenship test, and then - eight or nine months from now - I will be invited to a ceremony, in which I will swear my allegiance to Canada and become a citizen.

The decision to apply for citizenship was so easy, it was practically a no-brainer. I have been living in Canada for more than eight years now, and have held permanent resident status for three. I have a Canadian husband and my kids were born here. I have a job I like, and after a tough start, I’ve made something of a life for myself here. I have no intention of living anywhere else. When you think about it, it would make very little sense for me to not pursue citizenship.

Why, then, am I making such a song and dance about it? The answer, quite simply, is that I have been taken by surprise at what an emotional process it is. Yes, I love living in Canada, and I do not regret my decision to come here. And yes, South Africa has some pretty intense problems right now. For various reasons, which have more to do with Canada’s benefits than with South Africa’s drawbacks, I am glad to be raising my kids here rather than there.

But no matter where I go or what I do, South Africa will always be the land of my birth. I will always carry with me the heritage of the harsh African sun, of the stunningly intense Highveld storms, of the vibrant energy of the soil. I was born in a land of hope and turmoil, unrest and reconciliation, despair and triumph. I was part of the crowd that witnessed the release of Nelson Mandela; I stood in line for nine hours to vote in South Africa’s first democratic election. I have witnessed - indeed, been a small part of - the most exciting and dynamic part of South Africa’s history. Although I made the choice to leave, I am proud to be able to claim South Africa as my native country.

This is why applying for citizenship of another country leaves me with a bittersweet feeling. I cannot adequately explain why I feel this way, maybe because I don’t fully understand it myself. After all, I am permitted by both countries to hold dual citizenship. No-one’s asking or expecting me to turn my back on South Africa.

Maybe the way I feel is simply a normal human reaction to moving into a new phase of my life. It’s as if I’m saying, “South Africa, you gave birth to me, raised me, shaped the person I am. And I will always love you, but I need to entrust myself to Canada now.”

As proud as I am to have been born in South Africa, I will be immensely proud and honoured when, hopefully soon, I can call myself a Canadian.

Kaleidoscopically yours,
Kirsten

Tim's Tales

As you know, we have a new computer system at work. Part of that system is a web server, which I have spent the last 10 months setting up. Recently more and more students have been using it because they start registering for the Spring semester next week. But there is a slight problem with that.

You see, we only have 50 licenses for the database server. The web site is only supposed to use 2 of those licenses even if 30 people are logged on (the most we’ve ever had at one time). Eventually as more people use the web site, it will want more licenses, but what has been happening lately is that we have been running out of licenses for the database server. This is not a good thing as no one else can log in to use the database server until someone else logs off. There is also one more interesting thing that happens.

My web site decides it wants more licenses, so it grabs them as they become available. That means that even if someone logs off, no one else can log on because the web site took their license even though there might only be 5 people using the web site. Eventually it hits the maximum number of licenses it’s allowed to use and stops taking licenses, but I’ve seen it use as many as 12 licenses when there are only 5 people trying to use the web site. And even though it has all those licenses, it still doesn’t work. That isn’t a good thing.

So we called our vendor and told them to take some of the licenses we have on our test server and put them on our live server, but they haven’t done that yet. They were supposed to do it yesterday morning. They have to do it soon because registration starts next week, and if the web site doesn’t work, students can’t register. If students can’t register, we can’t send them a bill. If they don’t get a bill, they can’t pay the bill. If they can’t pay their bill, I don’t get paid, and I really like getting paid.

So I thought and I thought and I thought some more, and I came up with a solution that works. It kicks everyone off the web page, but since they couldn’t use it anyway, that doesn’t matter. It only takes a few seconds and they get an error, but all they have to do is log back in and everything works again.

Sometimes I impress even myself.

Tim a’Musing
Having a Ball with Yarns

Tip of the Day

To make lighter and fluffier mashed potatoes, add a pinch or two of baking powder to the potatoes before whipping. - Peggy in Tonawanda, New York

Poet-Tree


Not such a bad turnout!  Bruce was away last night so there will probably be some late entries for next time.  Let’s see what you do with one of my opening lines.

Next opening line…
The next time I try to go vote…


Hints:  There’s a great rhyming dictionary at http://www.rhymezone.com/
Limerick rules.  http://freespace.virgin.net/merrick.sheldon/limerickrules.htm 

Submit Opening Line
Submit Limerick

I bought me a nice, ice-cold beer;
It is something I hold very dear;
To enjoy at the end of the day;
After a roll in the hay;
Something I do everyday day of the year. - Bonnie
I bought me a nice, ice-cold beer
Being a thing that I hold dear
It’s 40 below
But just goes to show
Tis important to me, that’s clear! - Maria in Illinois
I bought me a nice, ice-cold root beer
And a big book of Shakespeare.
I will have it made
When I sit in the shade
And read while my drink does disappear. - Anne Onimous
I bought me a nice, ice-cold beer.
Why to the glass do the bubbles adhere?
So instead of drinking
About foam I’m thinking
That’s because I’m an engineer. - Anne Onimous
I bought me a nice, ice-cold beer
But I cannot drink it, I fear.
Since I am to drive
And home I’m to arrive
I must keep my head and sight clear. - E. Cole Aye
I bought me a nice, ice-cold beer
But it’s counter productive, I fear.
Drinking post exercise
A poser does arise:
Which of my six-packs should disappear? - E. Cole Aye
I bought me a nice, ice-cold beer
I wanted a six-pack, it’s clear.
I’m going on record
Taxes I can’t afford
Congress’ tax increase is most severe. - E. Cole Aye
I bought me a nice, ice-cold beer
In fact, many cases for the whole year.
The election results
Just really sucks
So I’ll be drunk off my derrière. - E. Cole Aye
I bought me a nice, ice-cold beer…
My intentions were really quite clear
I’d drink just this one
But son-of-a-gun
I drank six and fell on my rear. - Rick in Roanoke
I bought me a nice, ice-cold beer…
I chugged it down without any fear
But I felt like a fool
When I fell off the stool
I forgot ’bout my screwed up inner ear. - Rick in Roanoke
Probably the greatest thing I fear
Is your grasp of realism, my dear.
Putting you in touch
With The Truth will be such
A task in this election year! - E. Cole Aye
 


Reader Comments

Re: Chinese Products


"When do we realize that this is a form of terrorism?" asks Patty in reference to tainted products.

We realize that when we go mad. Terrorism involves intent to harm and to affect policy. Dangerous consumer products are scary, but accidental effects of the push for profits. Aerial bombing, house raids and bad jails are more expensive and organized than guerilla warfare (as practiced by George Washington) but are still genuine acts of terrorism. If you want safe products, you need certified inspectors and/or a likelihood of lawsuits over errors, not another front on the war. - Bob of the North



Re: What Did You Say?

Patti said: "So I went into my house and got a Sam Kinison tape and played it quite loud."

Was this Sam Kinison tape from back when he was a preacher or when he was a comedian? - Noella

[He had preacher albums? I only had comedy ones. But I did start it out at a less offesive spot and the window shut quickly. So I turned it down. - Patti]



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Disclaimer- All quotes printed in this publication are believed to be accurately attributed, but no guarantees are made that some incorrectly attributed, or even outright false quotes won’t get in here from time to time.  I assure readers that I will do my best to weed out incorrect quotes, and will print a retraction as soon as I become aware of any errors.

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