Really Good Quotes

September 22, 2008

September 22nd, 2008
Really Good Quotes "A mind, once expanded by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
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Greetings, Quotaholics:


I’ve never really liked milk. I know that as a child I drank it, but by the time I started school I didn’t like it.

It’s not that I’m lactose intolerant or anything like that. I like things made from milk, ice cream, custards, whipped cream, sauces, etc. I even eat milk on cereal, I just don’t like the taste of straight milk. And when I say milk, I mean cow’s milk. Don’t even bother to offer me some other kind of milk like goat, sheep, buffalo, or yak.

I figure milk is made for babies and once you are grown you should drink something else and leave the milk for the babies. But in Switzerland a restaurant owner has decided that not only is milk good, human milk is better!

Oh don’t worry, you can’t go in and order a big glass full, but they are using it in place of cow’s milk in their cooking.

According to an audio clip from WBBM News Radio in Chicago, the restaurant is using “…human breast milk wherever milk is called for in a menu item.”

The restaurant, described as “exclusive”, said they use at least 75% human breast milk in any recipe that calls for milk. It is used in soups, sauces, and stews, among other things.

The owner was quoted as saying “We’re raised on it why should we not include it in our diet?”.

Now I don’t know about you but my first thought upon hearing about this was, “OMG! I think I just threw up a little”.

But seriously, isn’t this pretty gross? I mean it’s probably not as disgusting to think that we would eat something produced by humans for humans as opposed to eating something produced by some great hairy beast intended for small hairy beasts. But still I don’t think I could do it. Well, maybe straight from the faucet…….

At least there’s one positive aspect to this. The owner is advertising to buy milk and is offering $6.00 for 14 ounces. Which brings up the question, how much does a woman produce in a day? Is there any way that a woman could make any money at this?

How about you? Would you even consider eating at this restaurant? Do you think using human milk should be allowed? Do you think it should be legal for a woman to sell her milk?

Grossed out,



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Today's Quotes


“He may be a son of a bitch, but he’s our son of a bitch.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt, on either Anastasio Somoza, dictator of Nicaragua, or Rafael Trujillo, dictator of the Dominican Republic


“It is an act of insanity and national humiliation to have a law prohibiting the President from ordering assassination.” – Henry Kissinger, to President Ford, at a National Security Council meeting

Today's Chuckle


Going Through Customs
[Thanks to Bonnie in Louisiana]


A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favor?”

“Of course my child. What may I do for you?”

“Well, I bought an expensive woman’s electronic hair dryer for my mother’s birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I’m afraid they will confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for Me? Under your robes perhaps?”

The priest answered, “I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie.”
“With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.”

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?”

“From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.”

The official thought this answer strange, so he asked, “And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?”

“I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.”

Roaring with laughter, the official said, “Go ahead, Father. NEXT!”

Life Sentences

“You never conquer a mountain. Mountains can’t be conquered; you conquer yourself-your hopes, your fears.” - Jim Whitaker

“Let children walk with Nature, let them see the beautiful blendings and communions of death and life, their joyous inseparable unity, as taught in woods and meadows, plains and mountains and streams of our blessed star, and they will learn that death is stingless indeed, and as beautiful as life.” - John Muir (1838-1914)

“What is now proved was once only imagined.” - William Blake (1757-1827)

Image'n That

I Want One!
Imp-Revised News

E-Mail the Imp


Everyday we’re coming closer to having autonomous robots and artificial intelligence coded into computers. At some point the two will match up and we’ll have mechanical devices that can evaluate problems and solve them; and perhaps even create music and art or do original scientific research.

We’ve seen rudimentary interfaces between humans and computers where connections between the nervous system, and even the brain itself could be used to exercise control of computer functions. It is hoped that this type of research and experimentation will lead to quadriplegics being able to control a robotic exoskeleton that will allow them to have some semblance of a normal life.

The same research could one day allow a human/computer interface to have two way exchanges of data. Instead of sitting at a computer and Googling a request for locations of gentlemen’s clubs that feature pole dancers, you could just think about it and be able to visualize maps and drool over promo dancer videos.

Jeremy Hsu, in an article for Space.com, suggests that the next step in the interface is a cyborg. For space exploration where long voyages to extremely dangerous places are concerned, robots are a safer and less expensive proposition than manned flight. Even with artificial intelligence in a robot it is felt that the human brain would be better suited to problem solving, ergo put a human brain in the robot to control everything…a cyborg; a “Frankenbot”.

We’ve come one step closer to the “Frankenbot”. Kevin Warwick, a professor at the University of Reading, is one of the principle architects of a robot that is controlled by living brain tissue. “The purpose is to figure out how memories are actually stored in a biological brain,” he said. The neuron-powered machine’s brain is stitched together from cultured rat neurons.

>From the very start, the neurons get busy. “Within about 24 hours, they start sending out feelers to each other and making connections,” said Warwick. “Within a week we get some spontaneous firings and brain-like activity” similar to what happens in a normal rat — or human — brain, he added. But without external stimulation, the brain will wither and die within a couple of months.

Now that’s eerie and disconcerting also. It makes you wonder how they’ll experiment with human neurons and brain tissue. My immediate thought was, “How did the neurons react when they started to respond to stimuli?” Did they react as rats since they were rat neurons to start with?

If we ever build a human cyborg, will we use a transplanted brain or start with human brain tissue and let it learn like a human being? Will we teach it only science or will we teach it the arts also? Would a space exploring cyborg need to have the same human experience as a human to be successful? Would there be a way to ensure the cyborg doesn’t develop mental disorders like real people? (Think of HAL in “2001- A Space Odyssey”)

The Bad Sied 

Most Embarrassing or Scary Moment


Speak Up!

Speak right up!

Patti's Parenthetical Past

On this day in history,
September 22, 1776: Nathan Hale gives up his one life for his country. Hale was born in Coventry, Connecticut on June 6, 1755. At age 13, he and his brother, Enoch, began their educations at Yale College. Both brothers joined Linonia, Yale’s literary fraternity. They were able to debate on a wide range of topics including astronomy, mathematics, literature, and ethics, especially the ethics of slavery. Nathan graduated with first-class honors in 1773 at the age of 18.

When war was declared, the young man left his teaching position to join the Connecticut militia. By March 1776, Nathan was promoted to Captain and was given command of a small unit of Lieutenant Colonel Thomas Knowlton’s Rangers with the orders to defend New York City. During the Battle of Long Island, the first major battle after the Declaration of Independence was issued, New York City was taken over by a flanking maneuver of the British forces. A delegation of Patriots met with the British on September 11, 1776 but peace was averted as the rebellious Americans refused to withdraw the Declaration.

Hale volunteered to go behind enemy lines to secure information regarding enemy strength and movement to bring back to General Washington. Hale was captured and as usual for the era, hanged as a spy and illegal combatant. Hale was marched to his execution site and “comported himself eloquently” but no one wrote down his speech. It was only later and by hearsay evidence that his famous line was recorded. The 21-year-old may have quoted lines from Joseph Addison’s play, Cato, instead. Either way, he is a hero today and the nation is grateful for his courage, valor, and honor. In fact, in 1985, he was officially declared the state hero of Connecticut.



“I only regret that I have but one life to give my country.” – Nathan Hale, attributed



“How beautiful is death, when earn’d by virtue!
Who would not be that youth? What pity is it
That we can die but once to serve our country.” – Joseph Addison, in Cato



“He behaved with great composure and resolution, saying he thought it the duty of every good Officer, to obey any orders given him by his Commander-in-Chief; and desired the Spectators to be at all times prepared to meet death in whatever shape it might appear.” - Frederick MacKensie, a British officer, wrote this diary entry for the day


Kids' Weird Words, The Date from Hell, How I Met My Mate
Kirsten's Krazy Kaleidoscope

Email Kirsten

“Preconceived notions are the locks on the door to wisdom.”
~ Merry Browne ~

Things aren’t always what they seem. For instance, if you see a profoundly overweight person in a shopping mall, it would be wrong to assume that that person is a compulsive overeater. And if you see a child screaming in a grocery store, you’re not necessarily witnessing a tamtrum borne of poor discipline. The child could have autism or some other developmental delay characterized by frustration.

If a man is a registered sex offender, that does not automatically make him either a pervert or a pedophile. Some time ago, I heard a story about a man who had been at a nightclub with his friends. When he went to answer the call of nature, he found a group of people shooting up drugs in the restroom. He retreated, and went to do his business in a patch of grass at the back of the building. Unfortunately, the alley he was in was not quite as deserted as he thought. A woman was walking past the building with her eleven-year-old daughter, who saw the man relieving himself. The mother reported the incident, and the man found himself being registered as a sex offender because a minor child had seen his mickey.

A couple of months ago, the Dr. Phil Show featured a story about a woman whose boyfriend was a registered sex offender. The woman had a three-year-old son, and the child’s grandmother started making claims that the man was abusing him. She claimed that her daughter was being extremely irresponsible in moving a registered sex offender into her home, with constant access to a young child. She told Dr. Phil that the child was suffering from nightmares, that he was hostile towards his mother’s boyfriend, and that the boyfriend was guilty of over-discipline. As the show progressed, it became fairly clear that the child was not experiencing anything beyond what most kids experience. Grandma’s real issue was not the man’s behaviour, but the fact that he was a registered sex offender.

On the face of it, I can understand the concern. After all, if someone has been registered as a sex offender, they clearly did something to deserve it. The authorities don’t just randomly prowl the streets looking for people to register. And to most people’s minds, exposing sex offenders to children can be a very risky proposition.

But as I said, things aren’t always what they seem. Dr. Phil’s guest was registered as a sex offender following a conviction of statutory rape several years previously. It was a story we’ve all heard dozens of times. Boy meets girl at a party. Girl claims to be nineteen. She looks and acts like she’s nineteen. They go on a few dates, and one night they go to her parents’ place and have sex on the couch in the basement. Dad comes down the stairs, catches them in the act, and informs the boy that his daughter is a month shy of her sixteenth birthday. A lawsuit is filed, and the young man finds himself slapped with a permanent stigma, even though he behaves impeccably from that point forward.

It seems to me that there is something wrong with the whole sex offender registration thing. On the one hand, we always say that when someone has served their sentence or paid their fine, their debt to society is paid. Making someone register as a sex offender flies in the face of that. Society is making them continue paying, even though they have already paid. On the other hand, if someone is a convicted pedophile, I would want to know if they were living next-door to me. Very clear statistics show that pedophiles have a very high rate of recidivism.

So while I think we need the ability to register sex offenders, the system is somehow lacking. It seems wrong to put a violent child rapist in the same category as someone who unwittingly pees in public or has sex with a fifteen-year-old who looks a lot older. Maybe we ought to colour-code sex offenders, so that the general public can have some idea of just how much damage they did.

Or is it OK to just judge someone on bare facts? I think not.

Kaleidoscopically yours,
Kirsten

Tim's Tales


Did you ever get good news instead of bad news? There is a difference between calling AAA for a flat, and calling home and telling your mate that you ran over the hugest diamond you ever saw but now the tire is flat.

I’m waiting for permission to run the graphic, but apparently KnujOn has shut down a third of the web sites spammers that care to bother me with. Another third is being reviewed. The smallest percentage of the graph is where no action was taken, but that can be explained by “fly by night” spammers that use free services like Yahoo. Users like that don’t last long.

What also doesn’t last long is the spammers trying to get my money. They simply stop trying to sell to me because I am a “poison pill”. If you send me spam, there is a 33% chance your site will be shut down. That isn’t good for any business.

I want to talk to the business people that actually read my garbage. I forget how many zeros are in the number that spam costs the US a year in lost productivity, but if you could eliminate a comma, wouldn’t that be a good thing? While spammers are unpredictable, wouldn’t you like to see your employees productivity increase? It just makes good business sense.

The best part is their morale. They’ll be doing something about a problem for your company, and that makes them feel good, which makes them happier in their job and they stay longer, thus decreasing employee turnover. KnujOn can save you money in ways you have yet to imagine.

Just send me my 10% finders fee.

Tim a’Musng
Having a Ball with Spam

Tip of the Day


Keep popcorn fresh and encourage more kernels to pop by storing in the freezer. - Peggy in Tonawanda, New York

Poet-Tree


There’s some clever stuff here.

Next opening line…
The worst thing that happened to me…

Hints:  Here’s a great new rhyming/composition tool.  http://www.writerhymes.com/
There’s also a great rhyming dictionary at http://www.rhymezone.com/
Limerick rules.  http://freespace.virgin.net/merrick.sheldon/limerickrules.htm 

Submit Opening Line
Submit Limerick

The weatherman said it might rain,
But I believe he has a short in his brain.
Everything looks bleak,
We’ve had no rain for a week;
Everyone knows it all falls in Spain. - Bonnie in Louisiana
The weatherman said it might rain
So said with no hint of disdain
He seems such a jerk
And my walk to work
May be just a bit of a pain. - Maria in Illinois
The weatherman said it might rain—
Somewhere around the south of Spain—
But I was indoors
drinking 2 cans of Coors
and so I was feeling no more pain. - Cassandra in New York
If I had the guts I would try—
To go skydiving before I die—
I would take precautions
‘fore going through the motions
because I don’t want to die. - Cassandra in New York
Do you know what’s really a crock?
Getting Bruce’s [Mike’s] line at eight o’clock
With not a whole time
To pen a limerick rhyme
Then to suffer from writers block. - Anne Onimous
Do you know what’s really a crock?
Drinking some very smooth cognac
Only to find out
That without a doubt
They filtered it through an old sock. - Anne Onimous
Do you know what’s really a crock?
Taking a Grand Canyon walk
And it becomes a chore
Because your foot is sore
Due to in your shoe there’s a rock. - Anne Onimous
Do you know what’s really a crock?
It taking a test called a Rorschach.
Some think I’m a sexpot
Because every ink blot
They showed me looked like a large cock- Anne Onimous
Do you know what’s really a crock?
Taking a broken grandfathers clock
To a German repair
Man who said, (I swear),
“Ve haf vays of making you tock.” - Anne Onimous
Do you know what’s really a crock?
From the pier your boat you undock
Only to find out
That without a doubt
You have a broken oarlock. - E. Cole Aye
Do you know what’s really a crock?
Politicians who think they rock
Plying platitudes
Which one concludes
It’s only the smart people who mock. - E. Cole Aye
Do you know what’s really a crock?
To suffer from writers block.
But I’ve a solution
That’ll ease the tension
And that’s to drain a flask of cognac. - E. Cole Aye

Reader Comments


Re: Money Matters

I started an ira for retirement and the stock market plummeted. I bought real estate, and that market crashed too. I just hope there are food stamps when I retire, if I ever do. We could have another depression. If we do, it will have been induced by our old buddies, the gov’ment. - Lucille



The 30’s had some trouble with drought, as well as some market adjustments that were hard on most people who had only been taking advantage of the economy, not actually running it. Eighty years later, we have some drought, plus fires, floods, earthquakes, extinctions, hurricanes, tornadoes, novel insect infestations, dying pollinators, and a system of agriculture that is dependent, like the rest of the world economy, on oil that is quickly becoming scarce and unavoidably more expensive to produce. We are on the brink of a runaway catastrophe of global warming, and we have about four times as many people to feed. With the exception of a few marginalized efforts, we have been wasting all our opportunities to convert to a technology that we might reasonably expect our children to be able to enjoy. Instead, we have been handing them the bill for cleaning up after all our mistakes, along with the responsibility to develop and build a sustainable technology, using only a tiny fraction of what used to run so easily.


In the 40’s, we used a World War to boost consumption, but now, the expense of war is ruinous, and it is in a positive feedback loop, as we try to bury our guilt under yet more corpses. I really don’t see an exit strategy for this whole mess on the horizon at all - All the possible spoils of war would not fuel another 50’s, on the scale that would be expected now. The west has had its party on credit, and all it has left is a bunch of nukes. Let’s hope we don’t try to use them for more leverage.

Two years ago, I moved from an area that imports food and fuel, to an area that exports them. I’m growing and gathering some of my own food, and my only investment is in 3-cylinder cars, although my house has also been appreciating very quickly. I’m planning to build a solar hot water heater, with some extra capacity for the house. I’d be converting to wood heat and power, but those CHP generators are more practical on a village scale, so I’m looking at a possible rural location where wind power would work well.

Given that my vocation is producing sustainable technology, the notion of retirement seems ludicrous. In another year, I might even be in demand. - Bob of the North
[I think we need you to give us some pointers on sustainable technology Bob.  I would really like to do some solar collectors and things like that but the cost is so high that I don’t see it being worthwhile yet.  What’s the most cost efficient thing that a person could do?]



Like you, we’ve watched our net worth decrease over the past few years. I don’t think anyone is immune from the financial meltdown, although those who have a bundle put away feel it less. The parts of our money that are not going down are with insurance companies (as long as they don’t go under). Our fixed annuity and insurance savings plan return just a hair under 6% — obviously great compared to the stock market. And we’ve got an insurance program where the money we put in is guaranteed to increase in ten years, so that we’ll be able to withdraw an amount equal to 10% of our original investment per year, as long as we live.

Other than that, we’ve started working with a very good network marketing company (no commercial here) — one with a truly unique product and proven management team that will absolutely be around for decades to come. If you research the industry carefully and work diligently, you will have a financial safety net to counter problems in the economy in general. And the bonus is you get healthier in the process. And, unlike watching the news, you can actually control your future. - T.I.M.



Re: Vanna White


Vanna White is an interesting “Celeb”. She’s been around and been a fan favorite for 25 years with no scandal…amazing!


She’s made a couple of $million$ being a clothes horse and turning letters around on a huge game board. In 2006, it was estimated that she made around $3M - $5M a year combining salary and endorsements. Not bad for a star struck girl from North Myrtle Beach.

She’s getting a bit “long in the tooth” now, and I’m sure she’ll be leaving the show soon. If she’d had succeded as an actress, she could look forward to acting roles well into her 70’s if she wanted, but I doubt she’ll get any offers. Her few film roles were less than memorable.

I wonder if she’ll retire to become the Grande Dame of the Grand Strand? - sied



Re: Image

RGQ said, “Even seagulls can be magnificent!” Have you never heard of Jonathan Livingston Seagull? - Faithy in Baltimore - “Mine, Mine, Mine”
[I thought about that comment after I sent it.  I was trying to say that even the most commonplace creatures that we take for granted because of their ubiquity are wonders.]


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Disclaimer- All quotes printed in this publication are believed to be accurately attributed, but no guarantees are made that some incorrectly attributed, or even outright false quotes won’t get in here from time to time.  I assure readers that I will do my best to weed out incorrect quotes, and will print a retraction as soon as I become aware of any errors.

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