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Greetings,
Quotaholics:
I
don’t think I’ve ever talked about movies here before. This could be
my big break. I could end up as the new ‘thumbs up’ guy on TV.
The movie I’m going to talk about today is Nude Nuns With Big Guns.
What? You’ve never heard of it? It’s on track to make more money than
the recent box office hit Avatar.
You see, there’s a new way to make money in movies these days.
Step 1. Make a crap movie but include enough sex and violence to appeal
to your target audience. In this case the movie is the above referenced
Nuns movie, the target audience appears to be adolescent boys with computers.
Step 2. Release the movie to video and hire some people with dubious
morals to track who downloads said movie.
Step 3. File suit against said downloaders.
Step 4. Profit. And profit big.
According to an article I read at Wired.com,
the makers of Nude Nuns have filed a suit titled ‘Camelot Distribution
Group Inc, v. Does 1 through 5865′, "…making it theoretically
worth as much as $879,750,000 — more money than the U.S. box-office
gross for Avatar".
Being the curious type that I am, and showing I’m willing to do whatever
is necessary for all of you, I searched online to see if you could buy
a copy of the film. It sells at CDWOW.US
for $24.99 on blu-ray. Using the potential lawsuit total above, it would
appear that the downloaders of this movie are being sued for $150,000
each. Yet if the movie cost 25 bucks how can a court justify a judgement
6000 times the actual lost revenue?
You might remember that the RIAA (Recording Industry Association of
America) tried similar suits over downloaded music. However they weren’t
allowed, by the courts, to file one suit against people nationwide.
"…the RIAA generally targeted dozens or so defendants in each
suit, not thousands, and filed each case in the jurisdiction of the
users’ ISP. The RIAA lost millions of dollars with this strategy, which
required them to pay individual $350 filing fees for each case, and
sometimes engage local counsel."
That’s where it helps to have a judge on your side. According to the
article, "Other judges are approving the mass filings. Last week,
U.S. District Judge Beryl Howell in Washington, D.C. — who is
a former RIAA lobbyist — approved subpoenas in a 2010 lawsuit
filed by the U.S. Copyright Group, overruling protests by Time Warner
Cable that responding to subpoenas for 1,028 of its subscribers would
be too big of a task for the broadband provider."
To add just a bit more twist to this story, it appears that the more
embarrassing the title of the film, the more likely people are to pay
whatever it takes to avoid a suit. For example, "A February 2 lawsuit
filed in Illinois, ‘Openmind Solutions, Inc. v. Does 1-2925,’ is targeting
alleged downloaders over adult titles like Throated, 1000 Facials Britney
Beth and Stuffed Petite."
"’This is a mass copyright litigation machine,’ says Lory Lybeck,
a Seattle attorney representing dozens of the defendants. ‘Most people
don’t want to have a public lawsuit against them for Teen Anal Nightmare
2, so they settle.’"
How would you feel if you received a letter saying you were being sued
for downloading a movie and you could either pay $2500 or risk losing
$150,000? With so many stories of hackers being able to use your computer
without your knowledge, or stealing your wireless signal, are any of
us really safe? Would you be willing to fight knowing that your friends,
neighbors, and spouse would never really know if you had downloaded
it or not?
All in all I’d have to say that because this whole scheme stinks I have
to give it a big thumbs down!
Entertainingly,
Comment
on this article
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| Today’s
Quotes |
“Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come
back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.” - H.L. Mencken
“Maybe this world is another planet’s hell.” - Aldous Huxley
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| Today’s
Chuckle |
Doctor’s
Visit
[Thanks Bonnie]
A
young mother was visiting a doctor friend and made no attempt to restrain
her four-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room. But finally,
an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, “I hope you
don’t mind Johnny being in there.”
“Nah,” said the doctor calmly, “That’s just poisons in there. They take
some time but are quite effective. He’ll be quiet soon.”
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| Life
Sentences |
“We have resolved to endure the unendurable and suffer what is insufferable.”
“I discovered freedom for the first time in England.”
“They do not depend upon mere legends and myths. They are not predicated
on the false conception that the Emperor is divine and that the Japanese
people are superior to other races.” – all from Hirohito, Emperor of
Japan, born on this day in 1901
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| Image’n
That! |
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Not
As Often As I’d Like
[Thanks Tesser]
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| My
Most Embarrassing Moment
My Scariest Moment |
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Speak right up!
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| Cliff’s
Notes
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Humor
One comedian once related his experience when he told his parents he
wanted to be a professional comedian. These people watched him
grow up. Their reply, almost in unison was, "Are you crazy?"
Apparently, they were his harshest critics.
I have often been told I should be a comedian. I can pop a decent
ad-lib from a tidbit of conversation sometimes, but I don’t think I
could write a full series of jokes that would last me through a stand-up
set. I would be hard-pressed to keep an audience entertained for
a 1/2 hour or more. Less, certainly, but to what degree of less?
One minute? Maybe. More than that would be a challenge.
What people find to be funny differs between men & women.
For example, one comedian has a line where his alter ego says, "My
wife work up this morning, hopped on her menstrual cycle and ran my
ass over!" Men would find this hilarious. Women, not
so much. And, on the other side of the coin, women comedians often
do jokes about their menstrual cycles. Jokes about the 4 different
sizes of the same style of jeans in their closets because of differing
size needs for different times of the month are taken well by female
audiences, but male audience members wince with each of these types
of jokes.
Different areas of the country find different things funny. One
comedian does jokes about how to define a redneck. He has a whole
repertorie of these definitive terms. And, rednecks like us find
them funny. Let someone else make a similar comparison and the
one tooth left may be that one in the mouth of the guy who uttered what
was taken as a slur. Another comedian may talk about the over
weight members of his family and his circle of friends. He gets
guffaws and roars of laughter, followed by thundering applause.
If I were to make the same statements, I’d get a fat lip.
Take it another step and you go from regional to international.
Even if we could completely and efficiently translate accurately the
different languages, what is taken as hilarious in one country won’t
garner as much as a smile in another country. Americans often
comment on the difference in the humor of the Brits. even with
sharing of television programming, what passes for humor in the USA
is considered droll in the UK, and vice versa.
Imagine what it will be like if some extraterrestrial with a sense of
humor lands here. His joke, "My wife’s dravensnar was wilted,
so I dipped it in phalanax.
Now it looks like a Dragonian waldnorf," would not collect anything
more than puzzled looks. Anything more would probably be accepted
with similar responses. It just isn’t the same trying to relate
how the sky gets amber when a herd of alien creatures collectively passes
wind.
Here’s your quiz:
Have you found some regional humor that didn’t play well with one of
your distant friends?
What type of humor had the opposite effect on you than intended?
What was the funniest joke you heard?
Humor - It Comes From The Funny Bone
Cliff (the High-Tech Redneck who doesn’t rate a fancy ’signature pic’)
Comment
on this article
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| BJ’s
Ponderings |
Santa
Paul
Carolina,
my wife came from a mountain village, Cardenas, in the state of Chihuahua,
Mexico. Her home was crowded with a total of thirteen siblings, a
drunken father but a loving mother. As she told me her story of her
past, I grew more fascinated with the differences a thousand miles
and a border makes. A country where machismo is extreme. Her story
included references to her older sisters, brothers and even her father
hitting her. Her father would shoot off his pistol IN THE HOUSE when
he came home in the middle of the night in a drunken stupor. Imagine
trying to sleep knowing the odds of a gunshot going off in the house
would occur. The floors were of dirt, the food simple, beans, flour
tortillas. Everyone worked at an early age. One of the younger brothers
was thrown out to fend for himself at the age of eight!!!
Deprivation was common. So when Christmas came, there was no Santa.
Carolina thought she was bad because Santa did not ever come visit
her. A brief note: Carolina is about 20 years younger than I, but
in some ways, because of her experiences as a child, as old as I.
A brief time-out. One of my great friends is Paul S., who worked with
me at the Oklahoma Blood Institute. Paul is a very likeable man with
a white beard and a little paunch for his stomach. He was 66 in 1997
and looked all the part of a real Santa, plus he had the indefinable
part, a great giving heart that made him the real Santa Claus. Santa
Paul, as I call him, came from West Virginia from a mentally abusive
home. Little love was expressed in his home by his father making Paul
a mirror of his father when he grew up. After a divorce, Paul visited
a psychologist and discovered about opening his heart and sharing
his feelings. Before Paul’s father passed on, they reconciled, hugged
and told each other they loved each other.
Fast forward to 1997. Carolina and I were having our first Christmas
at our home. Carolina had never seen Paul dressed in his Santa outfit,
an outfit that cost quite a bit of money. Paul came over to my house
in his Santa outfit, entered through the garage. A lot of her family
were in attendance, nephews, nieces, sisters, etc. Carolina saw Santa
Paul enter the house and smiled, then had tears, tears of not having..
then having, tears of a child, tears of Christmas, tears of past memories
and current times.
Santa Paul has been coming over to my house for four Christmases now.
How much longer he will be able to do this is only known to God. However,
Christmas 1997, several hearts were healed, my wife’s, some of her
family, and mine. Saint Nicholas was a real person and a saint. I
believe my friend is Santa and is Indeed, a saint.
Comment
On This Article
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Kirsten’s
Krazy Kaleidoscope |
Kirsten is pacing nervously all around the house in anticipation of
tomorrow’s events. I suggested she take out that nervous energy
on her keyboard and write an article, but, noooooooo.
She did practice making her promises, however. She promised to
be back next week. I’m going to hold her to it, too.
Ghost Writer
Comment
On This Article |
| Lucille’s
Lunacy |
In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king. However, when there
is a black out, the blind get their own back. I found myself abruptly
elevated last Sunday morning. I love a good promotion, but did it have
to be at 4:00 a.m.? Yeah, I know, if it had been any later, like after
the sun came up, I would have slept right through it.
My sister, Sallianapolis, her husband and my niece paid us a visit for
Easter. My other sister, Chicagoann and My-Brother-In-Law-The-Islamic-Terrorist
were also there, but they were in our upstairs apartment, and slept
through it — kind of like what I would have liked to do.
Sallianapolis: "Lou, wake up. We don’t have any electricity."
LU: "I don’t need electricity to sleep. What the @*! time is it?"
S: It’s almost 4:00."
LU: "You mean I slept through the whole day?"
S: "No, Dummy, if it was 4:00 p.m., I wouldn’t try to wake you
up, I would have taken your pulse, instead."
LU: (offering her hand, with at least one extended finger) "Have
at it. I’m going back to sleep. If you do, too, the next time you wake
up, you’ll have plenty of light." With that bit of wisdom dispensed,
I rolled over to continue what most people would think was reasonable
at that hour, and started to doze off. Sallianapolis wasn’t having any
of that, and she let me know in no uncertain terms that my presence
was required in the living room. Ah, the things we have to do to earn
a crown, unwanted or not.
S: Mom’s oxygen tank isn’t working."
LU: "Mom, are you all right?"
Mom:"I’m fine. Why are you up so early?"
to be continued
Comment
On This Article
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| Poet-Tree |
Those were fun and thanks ldo for keeping these
great lines coming!
Next opening line…
The river crept over its banks…
Hints:
Here’s a great new rhyming/composition tool. http://www.writerhymes.com/
There’s also a great rhyming dictionary at http://www.rhymezone.com/
Limerick rules. http://freespace.virgin.net/merrick.sheldon/limerickrules.htm
Submit
Opening Line
Submit
Limerick
My
son ran away with the maid
because he hoped to soon be laid
but "she" was a man
and so Robert, he ran
as he realized the mistake he’d made. - Cassandra in New York |
My
son ran away with the fair
His action caused a puzzled stare
Because they thought, "Oh, Blarney"
"He wants to be a "carny!"
But soon the fair will be nowhere!
Maria in Illinois |
My son ran away with
the car
Luckily, he didn’t get far
In the tank there was no gas
Besides, he didn’t drive fast
Now I looking for the feathers and tar. - Bonnie |
My son ran away with
the maid
before the police made their raid.
I couldn’t believe
that he did not behave.
But I guess he was quite afraid. - ldo |
My son ran away with
the hobo,
and even took his case with the oboe.
But he did leave his hat
why would he do that?
In all it was quite a low blow. - ldo |
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Reader Comments
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Re: Kirsten
What you did not get invited?
I did! She just forgot to add the adress on the invite, so I won’t
be able to attend or send her gift. Well, I’ll send it to Kate and
Will instead, since they need it more than Kirsten.
And Kirsten, if you have the time to read this, enjoy every moment,
something will go wrong, but in the end it will be a great day anyways!
Cheers! - Nathalie
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Disclaimer- All quotes printed in this publication are believed to be
accurately attributed, but no guarantees are made that some incorrectly
attributed, or even outright false quotes won’t get in here from time
to time. I assure readers that I will do my best to weed out incorrect
quotes, and will print a retraction as soon as I become aware of any errors.
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