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Archive for July, 2010

July 28, 2010

Wednesday, July 28th, 2010
Really Good Quotes "A mind, once expanded by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions." - Oliver Wendell Holmes


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Greetings, Quotaholics:

I don’t lie well. I get all flustered and can’t look at the person directly. If I’m on the phone, I get all tongue tied and can’t speak straight. I’m a horrible liar. Even if there is a good reason to lie.


Telephone survey taker
: Do you have three minutes to spare?

Me: Um, no. I mean, I’m really busy right now (Computer game on pause while I answer the phone).

TST: This will only take a minute.

Me: I, um, really can’t, um, talk right now. (Ready to get up and start pacing).

Even more disconcerting is when this happens at work. I’m getting a bit better at blocking calls the bosses don’t want to take. But I’m so relieved when they really ARE with a client or on the other line or even out of the office that I could nearly faint with glee. I don’t know if it is still discernible, but the “He/She is busy right now, can I take a message?” is slipping out a bit easier so hopefully no one knows I’m lying.

My son is an excellent liar. He always has been. Even as a small child he could lie gracefully. As an adult, it is scary. I know when he is lying only if his story is implausible or he is spouting something as “fact” when I know he has no way (or reason) to know it. Luckily he doesn’t lie for bad reasons. As an example:

Curious tourist: What type of plant is that?

Son, trying to be helpful: It is a hibiscus. (My son knows nothing about plants but says it with such conviction and forcefulness, no one ever questions him - except his mother who knows better.)

Forbes.com ran an article that is trying to make things even more difficult for me. They ran “Ten Ways To Tell If Someone Is Lying To You” by Elisabeth Eaves just to make sure I remain flustered.

Eaves says it is not just important for personal reasons, but because business also depends on being able to tell if you are being snowed or spoken to honestly. While innocent or white lies are not evil (and who really wants to hear their new haircut makes them look like one of the Three Stooges - especially if it is Larry), some lies have greater consequences.

Thing to watch:
1. Watch body language - especially sweating or fidgeting

2. Seek details - the more details someone must provide, the more likely they are to slip up (this is where my son excels as he can add details until the cows come home).

3. Beware unpleasantness - liars are less cooperative than honest people, claim psychologists. They also make more negative statements and complaints and can appear less friendly.

4. Observe eye contact - liars tend to not be able to look straight at you.

5. Signs of stress - can be seen in dilated pupils or raised vocal pitch.

6. Listen for the pause - most liars will take a moment in order to get prepared for making up a story.

7. Ask again - have someone repeat their tale in order to spot inconsistencies. As a caveat, beware, smart liars are able to keep their stories straight better than dumb liars.

8. Beware those who protest too much - if the phrase “to be honest” crops up over and over, you may want to assess the need for it. Most people assume they will be trusted.

9. Know thyself - liars succeed because listeners don’t really want to know the truth (see above with the haircut thing). Make sure you aren’t just listening to have your basic assumptions proven.

10. Work on your intuition - try to enhance your own ability to tell whether or not someone is telling you the truth. Try to determine if the person speaking is behaving the way someone telling the truth would behave.

It is more difficult to ferret out lies in print or on TV because we expect newspapers or news broadcasts to tell the truth. This is not always the case as in a few high profile cases in the recent past. If it doesn’t sound correct, make an effort to check facts to see if you can believe or trust the message.

Psychologists who study deception are quick to point out there is no sure fire way to tell if someone is lying or not. Police investigators and spies use many different interrogation tricks to try to catch people in lies, but even they can be outwitted.

Gamblers and magicians use lying or misdirection to achieve their goals. Most of us lie socially at times (again with the hair) but aren’t practiced enough to make a career of it. In fact, people are more likely to believe compliments and avoid painful truths, making it easier for liars around the world.

Are you any good at lying? Does it matter what you are lying about? Can you get away with an innocent white lie but cave when you are trying to really tell a whopper? How many of the ten things do you do when you attempt to lie?

Are you any good at detecting others who are lying to you? Does it matter if it is a white lie or if someone is trying to pull a fast one over on you?

The article says nothing about lying on the Internet, but does online make it easier to lie and more difficult to tell truth from bologna? Does all this lying make us just less trusting?

Honestly,

   

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Today's Quotes


“People seldom see the halting and painful steps by which the most insignificant success is achieved.” - Anne Sullivan (quoted by Helen Keller in “The Story of My Life”)

“Success is counted sweetest By those who ne’er succeed.” - Emily Dickinson

Today's Chuckle

Smooth Flight
[Thanks Bonnie]

Flying to Los Angeles from San Francisco the other day, a passenger noticed that the “Fasten Seat Belts” sign was kept lit during the whole journey, although the flight was a particularly smooth one. Just before landing, he asked the stewardess about it.

“Well,” she explained, “up front there are 17 University of California girls going to Los Angeles for the weekend.

In back, there are 25 Coast Guard soldiers . . . What would you do?”

Life Sentences


“Beauty is a relation, and the apprehension of it a comparison.”

“The effect of studying masterpieces is to make me admire and do otherwise.”

“The poetical language of an age should be the current language heightened.” - All by English poet Gerard Manley Hopkins born on this day in 1844

Image'n That

Downside To Advertising



Most Embarrassing or Scary Moment


Speak Up!
Speak right up!



Families

Yesterday was my wife’s mother’s family reunion.  Although Mom has been gone for several years now, as have her siblings, the kids and grandkids have continued to plan to get together once a year as we always have.  With parental pleading no longer a factor, the attendance is waning quickly. 
This year we could almost fit everyone under one collapsible tent.

This seems to be the natural order of things in almost every other setting except plants.  Without the ability of locomotion, plants hang around close to their parents throughout their lives.  No so with the fauna.  Animals maintain a close family connection until the youth is able to fend for themselves.  Only humans and a few rare animals maintain a life-long closeness to their offspring.

Most birds will have their young follow them around and waggle their wings all the while holding their mouths open to be fed.  Once the youngster can fly and has begun to feed itself, it & parents part ways.  Not too differently, a lion cub will learn to hunt.  The male cub will leave the pride and go off to live a life of bachelorhood until that faithful day he can discover a pride of lady lions who want a boyfriend, or if he can better the reigning pride leader in a fight.

Opossums will carry around the entire family for a while.  When the family gets too heavy, the kids have to keep up on their own.  Mama will still feed them, but situations are a-changing.  Soon, the opossomites are left to fend for themselves and the oparents fade off into the sunset each going their own way.

Dogs have been bred by humans to the point the natural instincts are almost bred out of them, although, if left to their own devices and they survive for any length of time at all, dogs revert to the pack animals they once were.  Rather than a family setting, it is a hunting club setting, much like other carnivores.  They stay in a band to have an advantage over the prey, not because they are related or like one another.  A lone dog can enter and become part of a pack if they show the right amount of submission, or, if they can ‘take over’.  A sibling pup may end up being forced out of the pack because they can’t be forceful enough to take over, but they are too much the Alpha type to be submissive.

It isn’t much different with humans.  Our kids grow up and go off to school or get a job.  They get busy creating their own families which, as any parent knows, is a lot of work.  Spare time is focused on the nuclear family instead of the extended family.  As the extended family members depart for other spiritual experiences, the ties weaken and interaction decreases in frequency and opportunity.

Here’s your quiz:
Do you have regular family reunions?
If so, has attendance begun to decrease?
If not, did you at one point?
Do you plan regular visits with siblings or core family members?

Families - Almost Like They Are Related Or Something
Cliff (the High-Tech Redneck who doesn’t rate a fancy ’signature pic’)

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Kids' Weird Words, The Date from Hell, How I Met My Mate
Kirsten's Krazy Kaleidoscope
Kirsten had a lot going on and said she would fill us in on Friday.  Here’s an archive article.



Email Kirsten


"If the world were a logical place, men would ride side saddle. "
~ Rita Mae Brown ~

According to Wikipedia, there are currently 1556 endangered species worldwide. That number is an underestimation of the true figures, since it does not include animals excluded from laws like the Endangered Species Act. It also does not count animals that have dwindling populations but have not yet met the statisitical requirements for being endangered. Almost every day we hear about some species that has become endangered, or that someone is trying to claim is not endangered, or that could become endangered.

Animals are put onto the endangered species list for a reason, and that is to protect them from extinction. Once something is endangered, it becomes illegal to hunt them, fish them, or destroy them. Programs are put in place to improve their habitats and create circumstances conducive to increasing their populations. In short, when an animal is endangered, there are things we can do to reduce its chances of becoming extinct.

The latest species to become endangered, however, is different. It is endangered, and will almost certainly become extinct, and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. There is not a single law we can enact, not a single program we can implement to slow the inevitable demise of this creature. I speak, ladies and gentlemen, of none other than the Y Chromosome, which is slowly but surely mutating its way out of existence. In five million years, it will be no more - in evolutionary terms, this is the blink of an eye.

Three hundred million years ago, the Y Chromosome had about 1400 genes on it. Now there are only 45. If we continue on this path, the chromosome will run out of genes in five million years. Of course, the Y Chromosome only has one high-profile gene on it, the SRY gene that makes men, well, men. Anyone with a basic knowledge of genetics knows that while women carry two X Chromosomes, men carry one X Chromosome and one Y Chromosome. A genetic role of the dice determines whether the X or the Y gets passed on to the offspring, thereby determining whether said offspring will be a boy or a girl.

On the face of it, the ongoing demise of the Y Chromosome spells bad news for mankind. Without the Y Chromosome, only the X’s will be passed on at the time of conception, meaning that we will end up with a population of girls. When the girls grow up, they won’t have any men to do the wild thing with, and the continuation of the human species will come to a screeching halt.

Relax, fellas, Mother Nature isn’t that stupid. There is an excellent chance that the process of evolution is already working on this conundrum, quietly and without fuss. Research has shown that a number of rodent species have no Y Chromosome and no SRY gene, but there are plenty of males still running around. It looks as if another gene on another chromosome has taken over the crucial task. At this point, we just don’t know what the gene is. In humans, the backup gene could already be in the process of evolving, so that when the Y Chromosome has hit the history books, our procreative ability will be safe.

So now that I can go to sleep safe in the knowledge that my species is safe for more than a few million years (genetically speaking, in any case), I can now turn my attention to the really important question: will men and women ever really understand each other?

Kaleidoscopically yours,
Kirsten

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Lucille's Lunacy

Why does the gov’ment have to give its programs such cute little names? Are Indiana kids better off being insured by "Hoosier Healthwise"? "Indiana Children’s Insurance Program" isn’t as cute, but it is certainly more descriptive.

"Desert Shield" and its aggressive big brother "Desert Storm" are prime, if somewhat dated, examples of what I mean. We didn’t have cute names for our other conflicts. I don’t remember ever hearing World War II called "Nazi Mambo" and "Viet Conga" would certainly have been more lyrical then the utilitarian "Viet Nam War".

The Iraq War has not escaped the title frenzy. It is called "Operation Iraq Freedom" by those in the know. If it had been up to me, the euphemisms would have at least been more alliterative. How about "Our Icky Iraq Adventure" or "Hey! Hey! You! You! get off of our oil!" sung to the tune of Mick Jagger’s "Get Off My Cloud"?

It is a public relations issue more then anything else. Sound bites are a staple of our culture, and their use may reflect the only form of gov’ment efficiency in modern times. You don’t have to explain "Workfare". Or "flat tax" to have adherents, whether or not the full import of the program can be understood. The "war on Drugs" and "War on Poverty" are also examples of the gove’ment’s pension for giving things cute names so the rest of us will get with the program.

TJ, The Golden Retriever has threatened to hire a publicist. Not really, he’d rather steal
food. He has, in exchange for a raw hide chew, and my vote in the next mayoral election offered me the job.

So here goes:

1. The Vintage Disadvantage: This would explain why things that are new, taste better then older things. If there is a pair of old, smelly sneakers that I have forgotten to throw out, TJ will ignore their existence with aplomb. This is a dog to whom something rotted in the garbage is usually much more interesting then say expensive high quality dog food. If, however, it is something recent and expensive, like my mother’s $1500.00 hearing aid, he will dissect it with enthusiasm. Actually, he used his teeth which is what caused the problem.

2. The Scent Rehabilitation Program: To you it is a smelly disgusting corpse. A squirrel met its end on the road. It is sad, and you hope the poor thing didn’t suffer. Your inclination is to pray the road crew scoops it up with a shovel and removes it to somewhere you aren’t likely to encounter it again.

To TJ and his ilk, that rotting squirrel is wasted in the dump. In fact, if it was up to the Doggy Brigade, that luscious smell would be bottled so that it would be easily available, say right after you have given Poochie a bath. After all, your canine connoisseur knows that dead squirrel is actually the fragrance you’re going for, and that if it was readily available, you would abandon the use of such repellant scents as citrus or flowers.

Finally, at least for this essay:

Puss In Flight: Your pussy cat may look content laying in the sun soaking up rays. But, you should not let that purring contentment fool you. Puss is just waiting for an excuse to run up a tree in abject terror.

That is when your friends at "PIF" are there to help. Each dog in this group has taken an oath to scare the heck out of any cat they encounter at any time of the day or night, or your money back. Your fire department will thrill at the panicked calls from owners it will get at 3:30 a.m. to rescue the stranded feline from its perch. Your neighbors will be delighted at the screeching and barking they will hear, especially if they’ve just dozed off.

Yes, you won’t know what entertainment is until you see a member of our canine crew send kitty running for her life up your new curtains. It is a thrill you just don’t want to miss. And, as we said earlier, you will get your money back if not completely satisfied. Of course, we mean the money you paid us for our services, not the hundreds of dollars in property damage we caused.

As you can see, it really is how you put a thing that matters. You should be able to bring an audience around to your way of thinking just by what you call something. Once you get their approval, you should be able to do anything you want, which was your intention in the first place. Maybe I should offer my naming services to the (explicative deleted) gov’ment.


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Tip of the Day


Uses For WD-40
Thanks Herm

Keeps flies off cows. (Plus the cow’s don’t squeek! lol)

Poet-Tree


That was a little better.  Try this.

Next opening line…
There was a young fellow named Price…

Hints:  Here’s a great new rhyming/composition tool.  http://www.writerhymes.com/
There’s also a great rhyming dictionary at http://www.rhymezone.com/
Limerick rules.  http://freespace.virgin.net/merrick.sheldon/limerickrules.htm 

Submit Opening Line
Submit Limerick

A newspaper writer named Fling
Had nothing to write, not a thing
He went looking for news
Wore out three pair of shoes
Got a flat tire and then a bee sting. - Bonnie
A newspaper writer named Fling
Wrote a story about his thing
Women were attracted
His name he enacted
By many he was viewed as king - Maria in Illinois
A newspaper man named Fling
could make a deaf man sing
he would write and write
from daylight until night
or until his wife said enough
of your lies and stuff - dEE
A newspaper writer named Fling—
wrote about just any old thing—
such as section Styles
which rose up his bile
talking about roses and rings. - Cassandra in New York
A newspaper writer named Fling
Could make copy from most anything
But the copy he wrote
Of a ten dollar note
Was so good he is now in Sing-Sing. - Author Unknown
 

Reader Comments


Re: Storming The Bastille


I did not graduate from college. I attended college and took the classes that I thought might help me in the real world, computer programming and related ISD courses. I had been working in the up and down world of aircraft industry and construction. So with no job and no prospects, I went from Wichita, Kansas to Oklahoma City and applied at T.G. & Y’s main headquarters and got hired. I worked there for five years as a computer operator then the shift supervisor. I went to Hertz Worldwide Reservation Center and took a similar position and soon was transferred into programming. Eight years later, I was offered a great position at the Oklahoma Blood Institute as their Systems Manager and overall head honcho. I soon became an expert in Networking, Security and started my own consulting firm, Cassady Consulting. I had about a dozen companies. I graduated into selling software, brokering hardware, besides doing systems work. My income soared.

I guess what I am getting around to is we can do whatever we want, the sky is the limit. We just need to find a niche and focus upon that and be a skilled person. I am out of debt, own two homes, three cars, have enough money to retire, make six figures, work for four companies and set my own hours and life is grand. I do not really work, work is play to me. There is zero stress in my life.   I give to my church, I help the less fortunate because I was there. I lived in my car at one point in my life. But I became determined to raise myself up, to do better and not just financially. Read the help wanted in major newspapers, see what companies want, then obtain the education needed, you will be surprised at what can happened in your life. Never give in, never give up. - BJ in Oklahoma, who is retiring to Kansas in Jan 2011

[I followed a similar path BJ but I never got into management.  I’m still a Cobol programmer.  The problem is after 30+ years I make enough that if I should get laid off nobody will hire me at anything near my current salary.  The market is flooded with programmers from, or still in, India.  Every company I’ve worked for at some point brought in contractors from India instead of paying their staff overtime to get a project done.  I’m sure it’s in large part my fault that I didn’t get into networking or some other field that is still growing, but I was happy to do the grunt work of keeping the systems running, and it appears that my current job will allow me to remain there until I retire.  But we all know that a merger or buy-out could happen at any point which would result in me working for peanuts or being among the long-term unemployed.  That was my argument with Stein’s article, there are many, many people like me out there and to say that it is their fault they are unemployed because he believes they are poor workers is just insane.]



Regarding storming of the Bastille, etc. The U.S. Constitution was put together by guys specifically hoping that the people would not have to do that ever again, but if they did, they should not be outgunned. Well, you are indeed outgunned, and undermined by a pervasive propaganda machine, and lulled like frogs being slowly boiled.

When a revolution shows up at the Palace gates with virtually the whole ambulatory population in a district, the guards melt into the crowd, and few people get hurt. As you start to show up with fewer than 80%, things get riskier - and at 50% history shows a lot of bloodbaths. Gandhi had much popular support, and managed by sending volunteers to get beat up with news coverage, to turn the will of the oppressor.
However, there is another way. Form self-reliant groups with your own scrip as currency. Replace all the non-sustainable systems in your life, before the companies crash. Like the psychopathic people who have risen to power, the companies also needed public accounting and regulation to save themselves from their own design, which had no governors except, ultimately, mother nature. - Bob of the North




"Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power." - P. J. O’Rourke

Does this not apply to all levels of the political process? Electors and elected?

Can you contradict any of Stein’ s numbers? Seems to me he is saying, It is what it is. But I do take issue with his "heart" on the position of the "middle class". Carol T




Corporate America is extremely, excessively and exorbitantly (plus a bunch of other adverbs) greedy. The same is true for unions.

St. Louis, Missouri, I remember back in 1971 when General Motors went on strike. I worked for Motors Insurance Corporation (GM’s insurance company) and even as an office employee I couldn’t buy a part for my car because of the strike. When the strike was over, I received an huge raise. Unfortunately two years later staff was reduced and being the newest employee, I was laid off.

Springfield, Missouri, I remember in 1985 when Zenith TV moved its plant to Mexico. I wondered then about American workers being left without jobs. It left me with a feeling of betrayal by corporate America. It seemed as if it should be illegal.

Today if I have a question about something and on the phone I’ve reached someone in India - I ask to speak to an American in the U.S. I never use self-check lanes anymore because I feel each self-check lane represents a loss of job for someone. I’m retired so I have the time to wait in line. - Noella

[Good point on the self-check lanes Noella.  I’d never thought of it like that!]



Re: Bird Feeders

Cliff - I used to put out several birdfeeders, and thoroughly enjoyed watching the antics of the several flocks that came through every day - but as we now have 7 cats living here I have stopped.

It seemed cruel to entice little birds just to have them become little cat toys. - Faithy Baltimore Maryland




We sure do feed birds and critters in our yard - some unintentionally, like the huge rabbit seen emerging from the vegetable garden lately. I can’t figure out what he’s eating, though. No vegetables have been eaten. We put up feeders only in the fall, through winter for the birds, but summer feed is grown. I’ve finally achieved a whole line of flowers visited by butterflies and hummingbirds this year, and am thrilled to see both Tiger and Black Swallowtail Butterflies availing themselves of the bounty. I hope the Monarchs will be along in a month or so. They were here last summer. At one end of the vegetable garden the Cosmos are beginning to bloom. They draw Goldfinshes, which are fun to watch as they try to perch on a thin stemmed flower, which bends over under their weight. I’ve seen aerobatics like those seen in circuses. Finches can flip, summersault, recover and go at that flower again and again and never work with a net because they never fall all the way to the ground. I can tell they’re waiting and watching for that favored food because they wake me up five minutes before the alarm would go off every morning with delightful trilling music.

Over several winters we have seen birds watch other species and learn how to get at suet and seed. Grackles and starlings seem to be especially adaptable and can now cling to the suet holders the same way the woodpeckers do it. - Nancy L in Ohio




Re: Joke

dEE’s joke about absent-minded "Professor Thompson" was based on a true story about John Von Neumann. He used to find his office by running his knuckles along the hallway wall, and counting doorway interruptions. Somehow, it left more brain cells available for his preferred circuits. Anyway, when they moved his wife posted his grandaughter at the old house in case he went there by habit, and when he turned up the walk, he spotted her right away. "What are you doing here, little girl?" he asked.
Another great mathematician, Paul Erdos, used to be passed from one host to another, doing almost nothing but playing with fancy numbers. When rain came in his window at night, he might notice enough to call for his host to come and do something. Exhausted, but inspired professors would carefully guide him on to an airplane, to be met by his next "victim." - Bob of the North




Re: Music

I listen to most styles of music. Two I DON’T are country and rap, (country because I have 4 sisters and have heard enough whining for several lifetimes, rap because it sucks, (and blows at the same time)).

My favorite genre is ’80’s heavy metal, and my favorite group is Apologetix… they parody (not cover) groups like Aerosmith, AC/DC, Ozzy, Metallica, et.al., and do a great job of it.

When I’m sad, I think about Paul Pelosi, and how I’m NOT HIM!

When I get a song stuck in my head I think about one I like and try to repeat it ad infinitum, ("Rubber Ducky" becomes "Dude Looks Like A Lady" in short order). - Bruce in Colorado




Reader Comment

The paradox…
By Dr. Bob Moorehead
(NOT written by George Carlin)

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life; we’ve added years to life, not life to years.

We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We’ve conquered outer space, but not inner space; we’ve done larger things, but not better things.

We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we’ve split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less; we plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait; we have higher incomes, but lower morals; we have more food, but less appeasement; we build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication; we’ve become long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships. These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology has brought this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to make a difference, or to just hit delete…

There is much wisdom in that…

Sincerely, - Dora in Denver

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