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Archive for May, 2010

May 28, 2010

Friday, May 28th, 2010
Really Good Quotes "A mind, once expanded by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions." - Oliver Wendell Holmes


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Greetings, Quotaholics: 

My wife has been a dancer since she was a child. She danced ballet professionally for a time, but for the most part her dancing has been for fun and exercise.

These days she’s involved with a clogging team. They perform at various locations and have appeared on local television. They have a Facebook fan page that my wife updates and I and my girls are "fans".

My step-daughter, however, seems to think it’s embarrassing for her mother to be dancing at her age. She is not a fan of the Facebook page because she doesn’t want her friends to see the postings about her mom dancing!

I suppose it’s just natural that older children, teenagers and up, tend to be embarrassed by what their parents do. Little do they know that as parents we take great pleasure in, and advantage of, this fact.

But when parents are fighting over custody of the child, one parent can use the child’s embarrassment as a weapon in the fight. Especially if the other parent’s behavior could possibly be interpreted as obscene or immoral.

Take nudism for instance. Many people practice nudism in their homes. Many children are raised, without incident, in this environment. But what happens if, after a divorce, one parent decides to take up nudism and the child voices concern about it to the other parent.

That’s what recently occurred in El Mirage, Arizona.

According to an article at the Azcentral.com website, "When El Mirage police found out that a mother and stepfather were naked around the woman’s two adolescent boys, they investigated and recommended the parents be charged with a crime."

"The boy’s father had learned about his ex-wife’s visits to Shangri La Ranch, a nudist resort in New River, and questioned his son about life at his mother’s house. The boy reluctantly said his mother and stepfather walked around their El Mirage home unclothed."

"The 13-year-old said the couple continued to be nude in the home even though he told them he and his 11-year-old brother were unhappy with it. His father called authorities."

"El Mirage police interviewed the family and were certain there was no sexual misconduct. The boys’ mother and stepfather said that they did not regularly practice a nudist lifestyle and that the boys had only seen them nude by accident. Child Protective Services declined to intervene."

"But police still pursued a possible criminal case."

"’You do not know how familiar this story is,’ said Bob Morton, executive director of the Naturist Action Committee, a non-profit that advocates for nudist legal issues."

"He said battling ex-spouses and family members often try to use one parent’s decision to practice nudism as an issue in custody cases."

"Four months after police turned the nudist case over to the Maricopa County Attorney’s Office, prosecutors gave police their answer."

"The mother and the stepfather will not be arrested or prosecuted."

I suspect that, like me, your first inclination is to think the nudist parents should be forced to give up the lifestyle while the boys are around. Especially if the boys say it makes them uncomfortable. But the article also raised the question about how much the law should be allowed to interfere with home life.

"The El Mirage case involves issues that extend beyond a parent’s decision to practice nudism. Tough questions, legal and societal, arise when a parent promotes a certain lifestyle or makes a controversial choice for the child."

"Members of a fundamentalist religion may encourage their young daughters to marry older men with multiple wives. Parents may treat their child’s cancer with alternative medicine rather than chemotherapy because of religious beliefs. Parents may opt to have their children skip flu shots. A divorced parent may allow a significant other with a criminal history to move into the house."

So most of us would probably be in favor of recommending the parents keep their clothes on. That’s the way we raised our children. We would probably be in favor of forcing parents to seek "proper" medical care for their children. That’s the way we did it. But when it comes to not allowing a parent to follow their chosen religion, even if the children don’t approve, most of us would probably object. After all, once we let the government make decisions about what religion the neighbor’s children follow they might want to make the same choices for our children.

So what’s right here? Should the parents not be allowed to be naked in their home? Should the parents be charged with a crime? Do you think it harms a child to see the parent naked in a non-sexual situation? For that matter, does it harm children to see parents in a sexual situation.

Nakedly,



P.S.  Since Monday is Memorial Day we’ll be taking the day off.  Have a safe and happy weekend.  We’ll see you again on Wednesday.

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Today's Quotes


“Language does not always have to wear a tie and lace-up shoes.” - Stephen King

“Lying in bed would be an altogether perfect and supreme experience if only one had a coloured pencil long enough to draw on the ceiling.” - G.K. Chesterton

Today's Chuckle

George And The Dragon
[Thanks Bonnie]

An 18th century vagabond in England, exhausted and famished, comes on a roadside inn emblazoned with a sign carrying the name “St. George and the Dragon.”

He knocks on the door, and the innkeeper’s wife sticks her head out of a window above the sign.

“Could ye spare some victuals?” the man asks.

The woman glances at his shabby, dirty clothes. “No,”she shouts.

“Could I have a pint of ale then?” he asks.

“No, I said.”

“Could I at least use your privy?”

“No,” she shouts again.

“Well, might I please….?”

“What now?” the woman screeches, not allowing him to finish.

“D’ye suppose that I might have a word with George?”

Life Sentences


“As this world was not intended to be a state of any great satisfaction or high enjoyment, so neither was it intended to be a mere scene of unhappiness and sorrow.”

“Compassion is a call, a demand of nature, to relieve the unhappy as hunger is a natural call for food.”

“Every man hath a general desire of his own happiness; and likewise a variety of particular affections, passions, and appetites to particular external objects.” - All by English philosopher Joseph Butler born on this date in 1692

Image'n That

Sometimes You’re The Fisherman,
Sometimes You’re The Bait!



Most Embarrassing or Scary Moment


Speak Up!
Speak right up!



Snakes

Most of you know that I live in Ohio.  It’s a good place to live, at least from my perspective.  It’s pretty sedate around these parts, and not much to harm you, except maybe erratic drivers on the freeway.

I said there isn’t much to harm you here, and that’s true, but there are some dangers.  I won’t list them, instead, I’ll focus on one source.  That source is snakes.  In particular, I’m referencing rattlesnakes, copperheads, and cottonmouths.  These are the the poisonous varieties that are indigenous to the area.  However, they are rare.

Most snakes here are rodent and insect eaters.  99.9% are non-poisonous, although there are some that get more than a bit testy if you get in their way.  Some will strike, and can give a nasty bite since they all have teeth of some sort.  But, even this is rare.  Ususally the snake will trip over it’s own feet, so to speak, just to get away from you.

The good news is that snakes are a good thing to have around.  It seems, including humans, most animals are very wary of snakes.  There must be a common gene in most animals, including us, that makes us fear snakes.  I must admit, although I am not afraid of snakes, if I encounter one unexpectantly, I get startled.  I don’t react that way with rabbits, or cats, or most other critters.  A sudden movement by anything unidentified will garner that reaction from me, and there’s a spurt of adrenaline, of course, but it’s over once I’ve identified the culprit.

Maybe that’s part of the snake vs. human problem.  People, as a rule, see a snake.  Period.  Most people cannot tell a rat snake from a boa constrictor except that boa’s are much larger.  If it were a baby boa, a person would probably misidentify it.  Not knowing creates disquiet with the subject.  It’s that way with people and plants, such as poison ivy, thus it won’t be any different with snakes.  If you don’t know if it is a copperhead, you will react as if it is.  Better safe than sorry, so the adage goes.

On the positive side, snakes keep yards, gardens and forests free of dangerous things like field mice, moles, and other nasty things.  Some are very good insect removers.  With the bulk of snakes being harmless in the first place, plus their benificial assistance of keeping bugs and vermin levels down, why do we hate them so?  Genisis?  Maybe.  For some reason, it is ingrained in us.  We simply cannot help it.

Here’s your quiz:
What dangerous snakes reside in your area?
Can you identify the dangerous ones right away?  If not, why not?
Have you ever had a snake as a pet?

Snakes - Fear The Trouser Variety, They Spit, And The Others Are Harmless
Cliff (the High-Tech Redneck who doesn’t rate a fancy ’signature pic’)

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Kids' Weird Words, The Date from Hell, How I Met My Mate
Kirsten's Krazy Kaleidoscope


Kirsten is out today, here’s an archive article.

Email Kirsten

"All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others."
~ George Orwell ~

I have discovered, somewhat to my surprise, that I am capable of hatred. I always thought of myself as a forgiving kind of soul. Sure, I’m capable of anger and I’m not above having the odd meltdown. But once my anger has finished angering, I can get on with my life and not think about the incident again. And just because I didn’t think myself capable of hatred, that doesn’t mean I automatically love everything and everybody. Take spiders, for instance. I dislike them intensely, and I am horribly afraid of them, but hate? That’s a bit harsh. Spiders did not actually ever do anything to me. I am the first to admit that my spider-phobia is completely irrational.

But as it turns out, I hate raccoons. What I feel goes way beyond mere dislike. I actually hate them. If someone were to tell me tomorrow that raccoons had become extinct, I would not be sorry. I would not say to myself, "Too bad". I would not worry about the ramifications to the food chain or the environment or anything else. I would simply shout out, "Hooray! No more raccoons!"

We have been plagued by raccoon-related problems for a couple of years now. It’s not just that they got into our garbage. That in itself wouldn’t bother me. It happens to everyone. It just goes with the territory of coexisting with these creatures (although I do wonder why they don’t ever choke on the plastic garbage bags). Our problem went beyond the bounds of "happens to everyone" when the raccoons got into our ceiling last winter. They found a tiny hole in the garage and got into the ceiling, right where all the insulation goes. The insulation got chewed to Kingdom Come and there was a very strange smell emanating from the house.

Our attempts to catch these things were, while not exactly futile, extremely frustrating. Operating under the assumption that the raccoons would have to go out and hunt for food from time to time, we set a live trap in the garage. On the first day, we didn’t catch anything. On the second day, I could tell as soon as I walked into the garage that there was something in the trap. I was ecstatic, until I saw that the neighbour’s cat had wandered into our garage and got caught in the trap. (Quick side note: if you want to see a cat break the land speed record, trap it in a raccoon trap, keep it there for a day, and then release it. You’ll see the cat fly down the road faster than a speeding bullet). On the third day, the bait was taken but nothing was caught. We replaced the bait and tried again. Finally, after about two weeks of trying, we caught a raccoon, and being dutiful citizens, we released it unharmed in a park. Its partner in crime got away when it got too fat and heavy for the ceiling to support and fell right through. The only saving grace was that it fell into the space between the two front doors, so we were able to trap it and cart it off.

We cleaned out our ceiling. We reinforced it and replaced the insulation, and went on with our lives.

A couple of weeks ago the raccoons reared their ugly heads again (not actually ugly, I know, but ugly in connotation). They ripped open the hole that we had covered up after last winter’s episode and got into the ceiling again. We were able to lure them out and seal up the hole, and we thought that was it. But no, they had other ideas. A few days ago, my mother-in-law remarked that she had seen a giant raccoon poking around in the garage. We double-checked that the hole was sealed up, and we set our trap again. The next day, after the trap had produced no results, a noise up in the rafters of the garage attracted our attention. My husband set up the ladder, and climbed up to the rafters, where, incidentally, we store the big box containing the artificial Christmas tree. My husband looked in said box, and there, nestled in the Christmas tree was the raccoon and three very newborn baby raccoons.

My husband lugged the trap up to the rafters and balanced it securely on a sheet of plywood right beside the now-defunct Christmas tree. Sure enough, the mother raccoon got trapped the very next day, My husband took the trapped raccoon to a park several miles away and released her. He also took the box containing the Christmas tree and the babies, and left it in the same spot for the mother to find.

Hey, we have hearts. We may hate raccoons, but we’re not going to break up a family. We would have taken Dad too, but we couldn’t locate him. We suspect that he got Mommy Raccoon knocked up, then ran off with a younger, prettier raccoon.

So now we are without raccoons - at least for the time being. If they come back I may just go mad, wrap my head in bubble-wrap, and bang it against a brick wall.

Kaleidoscopically yours,
Kirsten

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Lucille's Lunacy

This morning was an excuse for the fates to do two things to me that I detest. They are face Monday, and face it early. I had to be in a town 30 miles from here at 8:30 a.m. for one of those hearings to set a hearing. I did not like it one bit.

I made it. It never pays to be late to one of those parties. You may stand in line for an hour no matter what time you get there, but if you’re late, you may have been the only one scheduled to appear, and if you don’t show, the judge will be cranky.

I showed, and it turned out to be one of those mediumly annoying situations. There was a line, but it wasn’t a long one. I finally found myself in front of his majesty.

"So, what do you want?" the judge asked.

"Ah, you told me I had to be here," I reminded him.

"Oh," he said. "I must have wanted a status on your case."

"Yes, sire, that must be what you wanted."

"So, what do you want me to do?"

"Call it in next time," I might have suggested, but I do have to live here, so I said, "Could we set this matter for a final hearing?"

"Sure," the judge replied. I think he was glad to have something useful to do. "Did you ever get that new software to work?" he asked his court reporter.

"No, Sir. I’ll try it again. Hmmmm. Oops! No Sir, I can’t get it to work."

"Well, tell you what. What do you say to having a telephone conference tomorrow so we can set the final hearing?"

"Why the heck not," I smiled as I backed out of his august presence.

Do you remember a character from the old Beetle Bailey comics named "Zero"? There was one strip where Zero, Beetle and Sgt. Snorkel were skiing. In the next frame, Sgt. Snorkel told Zero, "Watch that tree!". In the final frame, Zero is staring at the tree mumbling, "he can make me do the dumbest things."

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Tip of the Day


Miscellaneous Tips

When using granulated sugar, keep in mind that one pound sugar is the equivalent to 2 cups.

Poet-Tree


Maria is on a roll today!  Thanks everyone.

Next opening line…
An impetuous couple named Kelly…

Hints:  Here’s a great new rhyming/composition tool.  http://www.writerhymes.com/
There’s also a great rhyming dictionary at http://www.rhymezone.com/
Limerick rules.  http://freespace.virgin.net/merrick.sheldon/limerickrules.htm 

Submit Opening Line
Submit Limerick

There was a young lady named Kate…
who has suffered a horrible fate
she did tease every boy
as if he were a toy
she now finds none willing to mate. - MO in Vancouver
There was a young lady named Kate
who claimed everything was fate
But she looked both ways
crossing the roadways
And walked with a surefooted gait. - Tony
There was a young lady named Kate
Who was always exceedingly late
Much to her chagrin
She never settled in
To a life with a reliable mate. - Bonnie
There was a young lady named Kate—
Last month, her period was late—
She cried and she cried
couldn’t believe her eyes
but then accepted her sad fate. - Cassandra in New York
There was a young lady named Kate
Other gals would often berate
No trace of contol
Their boyfriends she stole
Libido she just couldn’t sate - Maria in Illinois
There was a young lady named Kate
obsessed about losing some weight
She’d never confess
To fit in a dress
Was all to impress one named "Nate" - Maria in Illinois
There was a young lady named Kate
Who died while seeking a mate
Alas none was found
Though she did bloodhound
Alone was her predestined fate - Maria in Illinois
There was a young lady named Kate
Who necked in the dark with her date.
When asked how she fared,
She said she was scared,
But otherwise doing first-rate. - Author Unknown

Reader Comments


Re: Salt


One of my elderly neighbors was half-dead for two years before someone discovered that she needed some salt. However, a good definition of poison is "too much." Even water can ruin the electrolyte balance and kill you. Butter is my only usual exposure to salt. I add salt to popcorn and sometimes to peanut butter if I’ve been sweating. I use sea salt for the trace minerals, etc. - Bob of the North



I love salt. I crave salt. My cousin’s son has seizures if he doesn’t get enough salt. When I get a migraine, I eat potato chips (sodium and potassium) settles my stomach, and lighten’s the headache. Sea Salt is better. Nothing removed, nothing added. Don’t mess with my salt! - L&K, herm



My mother has kidney disease, and I do the cooking for us. She is limited to 2000 mg per day, which is the recommended amount for everybody. Placing the amouunt of salt contained in foods is adequate protection and otherwise, it isn’t any of the gov’ment’s damn business what we eat. My sister uses salt from Mirocco, and she says it tastes better, and it would make sense that salt mined from different sources would be exposed to different elements and would taste different. However, it is all sodium. I learned all this stuff to help my mom take care of her kidneys. I just never thought I would have a reason to bring it up in the conversation. - Lucille



Re: Song

Thank you so much, Kirsten! That song gets stuck in my head every Christmas and now here it is again. Help! - Theresa, SC



if she had not been cheating and the phone bill arrived that would have been it .Nothing would have been thought about it after that. - dEE

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Disclaimer- All quotes printed in this publication are believed to be accurately attributed, but no guarantees are made that some incorrectly attributed, or even outright false quotes won’t get in here from time to time.  I assure readers that I will do my best to weed out incorrect quotes, and will print a retraction as soon as I become aware of any errors.

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