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Greetings,
Quotaholics:
We
in the "developed" world have an advantage not afforded a large
portion of the world’s population. Access to good hygiene.
With plenty of water, indoor plumbing, clean clothes, soap, and deodorant
we probably smell less like humans than any people ever to inhabit the
earth. Because of this we tend to deal harshly with people who don’t share
our view of cleanliness.
As a child I remember a young girl in my class who smelled. Because of
this the other children were very unkind to her. Except for her closest
friends, nobody wanted to sit near her or play with her. It’s really heartbreaking
looking back on it. But children can be cruel when they don’t understand
someone who is different.
As an adult I found out that the little girl had some sort of urinary
tract problems and the smell was caused by urine leakage. But the adults
back then didn’t talk to children about "that part" of the body,
so we were left to believe that her odor was something she could do something
about.
I was reminded of this when I read an article at
NationalPost.com concerning a man who was removed from an Air Canada
flight from Charlottetown to Montreal because of his smell.
"Penny Walsh, of Charlottetown, was moved to another seat by an Air
Canada employee so she would not have to ride alongside the man who was
giving off an unpleasant aroma."
"’People were just mumbling and staring at him,’ said Ms. Walsh.
‘The guy next to me said ‘it’s brutal’.'"
"Apparently in an effort to clear the air, the man, who Ms. Walsh
described as unkempt, was escorted off the plane. Walsh said the incident
only delayed the flight by 15 to 20 minutes."
"Doug Newson, CEO of the Charlottetown Airport Authority, says the
passenger in question made the trip on another Air Jazz flight the next
day."
Recently movie director Kevin
Smith was removed from a Southwest Airlines flight because the crew
said he was too fat. He talked about how embarrassing it was but imagine
how much more embarrassing it would be to be told, in front of the other
passengers, that you were to smelly to fly.
I doubt that any of us would want to share a flight with someone who smelled
as bad as it seems this man did. On the other hand, who is to judge how
bad is bad? If enough people complain, is this justification to remove
a passenger?
What if the person smells different because of his diet, personal beliefs,
medical condition, etc., is it still fair to remove him from the plane?
Is this a case of the rights of the majority overriding the rights of
the individual?
Fragrantly,
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“An optimist expects his dreams to come true; a pessimist expects his
nightmares to.” - Laurence J. Peter
“In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist
has a better time on the trip.” -Daniel L. Reardon
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New Apartment
Dave rents an apartment
in New York, and goes to the lobby to put his name on the group mailbox.
While there, a very attractive young lady comes out of the apartment
next to the mailboxes wearing a robe.
Dave smiles at the young woman and she strikes up a conversation with
him. As they talk, her robe slips open, and it’s quite obvious that
she has nothing on under the robe. Poor Dave breaks out into a sweat
trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she places her
hand on his arm and says,
“Let’s go in my apartment, I hear someone coming…”
He proceeds with her into the apartment, and after she closes the
door, she leans against it allowing her robe to fall off.
Now completely nude, she purrs at him, “What would you say is my best
feature?”
The flustered and embarrassed Dave stammers, clears his throat several
times, and finally squeaks out, “Oh, its got to be your ears!”
Astounded, she replies, “My ears? Why my ears? Look at these breasts!
They are full, don’t sag, and they’re 100% natural! My buns - they
are firm and don’t sag, and have no cellulite! Look at this skin,
no blemishes, or scars! Why in heaven’s name would you say my ears
are the best part of my body?!”
Clearing his throat once again, Dave stammers,
“Outside when you said you heard someone coming? . . . That was me.”
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To see far is one thing, going there is another.
Simplicity is not an objective in art, but one achieves simplicity despite
one’s self by entering into the real sense of things.
Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave. - All from
Romanian sculptor Constantin Brancusi born on this date in 1876
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Speak right up!
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Hilarity
I’ve mentioned our garden, and the vast array of visitors we have coming
in. It offers quite a lot of entertainment. Watching the antics of various
creatures can be almost side-splitting. There’s no shortage of shenanigans
these animals can create.
On one occasion, a couple of rabbits were visiting. Something happened.
I have no clue what it was, but it had to be some kind of Spanish effect.
One rabbit took on the role of a charging bull. From only a couple feet
away, it suddenly took on the shape of a bullet and charged the other
rabbit. The second rabbit simply jumped straight up and avoided the
collision. Bypassing the 2nd rabbit, the first one stopped a few feet
away. It then did the same thing, with the same result, in the opposite
direction. This went on for numerous passes, each having the same effect.
For a good while, I was cackling at these silly creatures.
On another occasion, squirrels were either feeling frisky or territorial.
I don’t know which, and it really doesn’t matter. All I know, for a
good long time, they chased one another across tree limbs, bush branches,
up & down, and around tree trunks. One would chase another, and
somewhere in a predefined boundary, they would switch and roles would
reverse along a different path. How they keep from falling is amazing.
(Not that that always happens.) It is grandly funny watching these "games".
Once, we had just filled the bird & squirrel feeders. Wrens, sparrows
and finches were busily replenishing. A Bluejay had taken special interest
in the squirrel food. The jay would grab a morsel, then fly off to a
tree branch to open it & eat the contained seed. It would then fly
back to the feeder to repeat the process. The small birds were doing
a similar thing at the bird feeder. Timing is everything. On one return
pass near the bird feeder, the jay was returning to feed at the squirrel
feeder. A wren had chosen that very same moment to exit the bird feeder
with it’s treasure. SMACK! Right in mid-air! They collided and a few
feathers wafted gently to the ground as the 2 birds gathered themselves
and safely landed elsewhere. I couldn’t help but snicker.
Here’s your quiz:
What funny animal antics have you witnessed?
What do critters do when they are in your yard or garden?
Has something you’ve seen just hit you hard in the funnybone and you
couldn’t help but laugh uncontrollably?
Hilarity - Sometimes There Isn’t A Cover Charge
Cliff (the High-Tech Redneck who doesn’t rate a fancy ’signature pic’)
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Email Kirsten
“It
is completely unimportant. That is why it is so interesting!”
~ Agatha Christie ~
During the drive in to work this morning, me and my carpool buddy
Michelle heard on the radio that Taylor Swift’s lucky number is 13.
This prompted me to confess that while I don’t really have a lucky
number, I am for some reason drawn to the number four. I tend to group
things in fours, and I feel vaguely uncomfortable if I don’t have
a multiple of four of any particular item.
This led to an in-depth discussion about the consumption of Smarties.
I never eat Smarties straight out of the box. I tip them out and group
them by colours. I make neat lines of each colour, arranged by number.
So the top line contains the colour with the fewest Smarties, and
the bottom line contains the colour with the most. Then I start doing
my weird OCD thing with the number four. Starting with the bottom
line (i.e. the colour with the most Smarties) I ensure that each line
contains a multiple of four Smarties by eating any surplus. So if
I have, say, eleven yellow Smarties, I will eat three to leave myself
with eight. If a line contains fewer than four, two is an acceptable
substitute (if there are three brown Smarties I will eat one).
At the end of this process, I will have lines of two, four or eight
Smarties (or twelve, if I have one of those big boxes, which rarely
happens). Then I will methodically work my way through the Smarties,
starting with the ones with the most colours. I will eat them until
I have the same number of each colour. Then I will pick away at the
remainder until they are all gone.
Michelle’s approach is simpler. She groups them by colour, and then
eats all the largest group, followed by all of the next largest and
so on, finishing with the smallest group. There are apparently people
who insist on eating the red ones last (I hear that this is a Canadian
thing), and there are those who keep things dead simple and just eat
them out of the box without knowing or caring what colour they are.
There are no doubt a number of different systems that people have
for eating their Smarties.
I am also particular about the way I eat my muffins. I remember one
incident in which I was driving and my husband was the passenger.
This in itself is very unusual - I almost never drive my husband around
because of his tendency to back-seat drive. Anyway, we went to a Tim
Hortons drive-thru and I got a coffee and a muffin. As we set off
on the road again, I said to my husband, “OK, now take the paper lining
thingie off the muffin. Then pull the top part off the bottom part,
break the bottom part in half vertically, and give me the smaller
half.” My husband gave me a strange look. The kind of look that says,
“You have bananas in your ears and a fig tree growing from your forehead.”
What can I say? I like to have things a certain way.
Can you tell that I had nothing to write about today?
Kaleidoscopically yours,
Kirsten
Comment
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Uses For Coffee Filters
[Thanks Deborah]
Put baking soda into a coffee filter and insert into shoes or a closet
to absorb or prevent odors.
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Good ones, seems everyone loves a stripper!
Next opening line…
My travels once took me to France…
Hints:
Here’s a great new rhyming/composition tool. http://www.writerhymes.com/
There’s also a great rhyming dictionary at http://www.rhymezone.com/
Limerick rules. http://freespace.virgin.net/merrick.sheldon/limerickrules.htm
Submit
Opening Line
Submit
Limerick
The
Stripper from up in Fall River
Could do things that made the guys quiver.
What she did with her tush
Turned grown men to mush
And give her all that they could give her. - Trinidad Jack a.k.a.
John |
A
strip-teaser up in Fall River
Was not just a taker, but a giver
Especially in bed
She loved to give head
Unfortunately, she died of a bad liver. - Bonnie |
A strip-teaser
up in Fall River
Was a fan of MacGyver
And could with bone marrow
Make a long arrow
And then stick it in her quiver. - Anne Onimous |
A strip-teaser
up in Fall River
Was tipped four bucks less of a fiver
She, instead of stripping,
Told him to start tipping
Or he could go jump in the river. - Anne Onimous |
A strip-teaser
up in Fall River
Would cause the men to shiver
When she danced there nude
She was really crude
For she could both stand and deliver. - E. Cole Aye |
A strip-teaser
up in Fall River
Has become a famed women’s libber
Everyone knows
That before she disrobes
A grandiose speech she’ll deliver. - Rae of Sunshine |
Most women,
whether blonde or brunette,
Are like banks, I say with regret.
For this I will posit
The more you deposit,
The more interest you will get. - Anne Onimous |
There was
a young man named Matt
Who opened a vegan restaurant.
The business didn’t fizz
Because his motto is
"Come in and let’s eschew the fat." - Anne Onimous |
Some things
in life are just fated
The farmer’s death was thus related:
He died when he did splat
Into a milk vat
After that he was cream-mated…. - Anne Onimous |
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Re: Cholesterol
Patti, I had a heart attack
on my 41st birthday. I was a 110 lb., 5 ft tall , active female. My
cholesterol, which had never been checked previously, was 426. I made
a full recovery and was put on heart meds and cholesterol lowering
drugs. life went on. Then one week before my 65th birthday, I had
a 5 way bypass. I did very well with the surgery and was sent home
on the 4th day! However, my cholesterol has never been lower than
310 and no amount of diet modification helps. The cardiologist tried
me on many different cholesterol drugs, settling on Zocor because
it was the only one my delicate digestive system could handle. My
father and brother both dies at the age of 61 with massive heart attacks
and I figure I’ve already done better than them. But, I do believe
that taking all these meds for so many years has taken a horrible
toll on a lot of my other body parts. The way I see it, it’s a trade
off. And I guess I can live with that (or not). - Mare in Mare-land
It’s great to see
ignorance and folly erode away under advancing knowledge.
My family has a history of heart disease. When I first learnt that
existing cholesterol medications reduced your chance of dying from
heart disease by 1%, I doubted whether it was worth consuming them,
and paying for them for the rest of my life.
I then heard that the British National Health Service had trained
a large number of heart surgeons in anticipation of a flood of heart
bypass patients from their aging population- but that since the introduction
of statins, these surgeons are now largely unemployed. I’ve been taking
statins ever since.
Duane Graveline MD, a former NASA Astronaut, has writtn a book entitled
"Lipitor, thief of memory", in which he says that under
some circumstances, in some people, statins can cause amnesia. He
has both the cases and a plausible mechanism to justify his conclusion.
It’s possible that advancing knowledge will mean we can get better
results with fewer side effects, a win-win scenario for everyone.
Regards, - John_in_Oz
I am fortunate in the fact
that I do have a low total cholesterol number (well below 200)–with
a good ratio of HDL/LDL–maybe not fortunate, I exercise and do eat
a low-fat diet and all…I am always very leary of any new medicine
that my doctor wants to introduce into my day–some I take, some I
don’t. - Bonnie
Yes, I know my
numbers. I also know that most people who die from heart disease have
normal cholesteral levels. I also know that statin drugs are more
harmful than the cholesteral. I also know that the normal fats that
mother nature makes, are healthier than lab created margarines and
spreads. Thus, I am not on a low fat diet. And, I also know that when
doctors go on strike, the death rate not just drops, but plummets.
They’re great when you break your leg, but I don’t see much use for
them, otherwise. I don’t have one. I live in America where we don’t
have Single Payer Healthcare, and those of us who are uninsured, which
is a very high percentage, cannot afford healthcare. Or insurance.
So, we read, we study, and we take our herbs and vitamins. L&K,
- herm
Re: Exercise
Yea! Glad to see you’re
feeling better, and can train again. I always admired those who could
run. I loved running when I was in school, but just never could do
long distaances. - Tazz!
you go girl i love
exercise more than sex. - dEE
Reader Comment
Hi, Tazz here, and I just wanted to take a moment and let the writers
and such at RGQ know just how much I love, and look forward to reading
RGQ. I hope it goes on forever! Keep up the good work everyone. -
Tazz!
[Thanks
Tazz. It’s always nice to know your work is appreciated.]
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Disclaimer- All quotes printed in this publication are believed to be
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attributed, or even outright false quotes won’t get in here from time
to time. I assure readers that I will do my best to weed out incorrect
quotes, and will print a retraction as soon as I become aware of any errors.
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