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Greetings, Quotaholics:
Child
porn is a serious concern for everyone. Stopping the victimization of
children is something I’m sure we can all agree on. So when we read about
someone who was given a 1 year sentence and is now a registered sex offender
we can all breath a little easier knowing one more pervert is off the
streets.
An
article in the Queensland
Times, Queensland, Australia, said "Police went to Kurt James
Milner’s Leichhardt home on January 24, 2008 after receiving an
anonymous tip-off about the disturbing material."
Police recovered 64 images of youngsters in sexually explicit positions.
This month Mr. Milner, 28, plead guilty to the charges.
Normally a case like this wouldn’t be worthy of an article in RGQ, but
there’s something a little different about this one. You see, the 64 images
were all of cartoon characters. "The images depicted figures from
The Simpsons, The Powerpuff Girls and The Incredibles…".
You don’t have to look very hard on the internet to see cartoon characters
having sex. I’ve even seen photos of "vintage porn" depicting
cartoon characters from the 1930’s and 1940’s having sex. Long before
there was an internet, or ready access to porn, making "dirty comics"
using popular characters was a mainstay for the industry.
One extenuating circumstance in this case might be a previous conviction.
"The Leichhardt resident was convicted of possessing child exploitation
material in 2003 after 59 sexual images of actual youngsters were found
on his computer. He received two years probation with no conviction recorded."
It seems odd that Milner was not put on the sex registry for the 2003
offence involving photos of actual children, yet has been for the cartoons.
Is this just a stiffer sentence for a second offence?
Would you have thought that cartoon images could be considered child porn?
Is this only true in Australia? A Google search for "Simpsons porn"
returned 161,000 results. If this is illegal why don’t we see more effort
to control such images? Do you feel that cartoon porn should be treated
the same as child porn?
Cartoonishly,
Comment
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“The Bible shows the way to go to heaven, not the way the heavens go.”
- Galileo Galilei
“You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.” - Drew
Carey
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Haircut
[Thanks Bonnie]
A man and a little
boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full
treatment: shave, shampoo, manicure and haircut, he placed the boy
in the chair. Then he said, “I’m going to buy a green tie to wear
for the parade. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
When the boy’s haircut was completed and the man still hadn’t returned,
the barber said, “Looks like your daddy’s forgotten all about you.”
“That wasn’t my daddy,” said the boy. “He just walked up, took me
by the hand and said, ‘Come on, son, we’re gonna get a free haircut’.”
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“An army of principles can penetrate where an army of soldiers cannot.”
“Any system of religion that has anything in it that shocks the mind
of a child, cannot be true.”
“Arms discourage and keep the invader and plunderer in awe, and preserve
order in the world as well as property… Horrid mischief would ensue
were the law-abiding deprived of the use of them.” - All by English-born
American patriot Thomas Paine born on this day in 1737
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Speak right up!
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Early To
Bed, Early To Rise
The first thing to be resurrected after a long winter is usually the
honeysuckle which abounds around these parts. It is the first to leaf
out in spring, and the last to go dormant in winter. It begins with
the monochrome taking on a slight greenish tinge, then, within a couple
weeks, the thinned underbrush acts as a natural screen, blocking the
view of everything up to 6 feet up.
We have had a cold winter. Record cold temperatures have been of the
persistent variety, not of dramatic lows below zero. It was just a bone-chilling
cold for a long time. As far as pests are concerned, this is a good
thing. It is also good for many plants. For example, tulips are perennial
in my region. Because of the cold winters, the bulbs go dormant but
do not rot. In southern climes, it is not so. Tulips are annuals there
and must be replaced every year.
Spring can be seen here regularly, usually quicker than it can be felt.
Cooler temperatures can stretch well past Easter. Somehow, the plant
life can tell time as well, or better, than humans. Flora will begin
budding even though regular freezes will continue. Don’t ask me how
or why this happens. All I know is that it does, and the cycle continues.
What isn’t normal is when bushes begin to bud this time of year. This
can scare the most experienced gardener. Often when this happens, the
errant bush or flower is "burned". It will damage the plant
and can cause so much damage that the plant loses the ability to renew
itself and simply starves from lack of photosynthesis when it’s precious
budded leaves were so stunted they could not sustain the base plant.
Here it is, the last days of January, and one of our plants has already
begun to bud. It had to be that we have had a week of temperatures in
the mid to upper 40’s, and a few days in the lower to mid 50’s as a
daytime high. Somehow this bush has received some kind of signal that
it was time to begin the spring cycle. I don’t know the botanical name
of the bush, nor do I even know the real common name. My wife calls
it a type of "butterfly bush" simply because butterflies are
drawn to it.
This bush now has 1/4 inch leaves. I’m sure, if the temperatures remain
as warm for much longer, the bush will continue to grow. It is one of
my wife’s favorites. The purple flowers are quite beautiful, I must
admit. But her favorite trait of this bush is the butterflies it attracts.
She is now worried that it has put itself in jeopardy. As it is about
4 feet tall, and probably as big around, it is impractical to try to
cover it. Only a bed sheet or something like it, would be large enough.
I guess we just wait & see.
Here’s your quiz:
What plants show the first signs of Spring in your area?
About when do you expect to see enough growth to know Spring has sprung?
Have you had any plants that budded early? If so, what happened to them?
Early To Bed, Early To Rise
- Scares A Gardener Sometimes
Cliff (the High-Tech Redneck who doesn’t rate a fancy ’signature pic’)
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Email Kirsten
“When
you’re drowning, you don’t say ‘I would be incredibly pleased if someone
would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,’
you just scream.”
~ John Lennon ~
I have the wrong kinds of friends. Well, that’s not a fair thing to
say. I love my friends dearly and would not even want to imagine my
life without them. They are very diverse in nature and bring different
things to my life. It’s just that none of them has ever won a trip
for four on a cruise ship and offered to take me with them. Unlike
my co-worker Patricia.
A friend of Patricia’s won a week-long Caribbean cruise for four.
The friend and her husband have no children, and so they have invited
Patricia and her husband to join them on the cruise. There are so
many good things about this. Patricia and her husband will have a
nice vacation and enjoy quality time with each other and their friends.
They will be treated like royalty, enjoy great meals, and have access
to all kinds of parties and activities. They will get a great tan
and some fantastic memories.
There is a drawback, though. They could fall overboard, and that would
be more than a little inconvenient. It is really cold out there in
the deep blue sea. The waves are rough, and if you’re not rescued
quickly you can die. Besides, wading around in the sea with shoes
and clothing on would be really uncomfortable, and assuming you were
rescued in time, it would take days for your shoes to dry off properly.
But fortunately, help is at hand for Patricia and her husband, and
anyone else with plans to board a cruise ship. The Internet - repository
of every tidbit of knowledge you could possibly want access to - has
an article
about what to do if you fall of a cruise ship. Presumably you’re
not going to be able to consult this article in the panic of the moment
- what with falling off a giant boat, you’d probably have other things
on your mind - so it behooves you (finally! I’ve been searching for
an opportunity to use the word “behooves”) to study this article prior
to setting foot on the ship.
The article states some things that many people would think are obvious.
Don’t go out alone at night. Avoid areas of the ship that might not
be safe. As you’re falling in, try to grab hold of a railing or something.
If you fall in, grab onto whatever you can to stay afloat. If the
ship moves away and you find yourself alone, wave your arms to try
to signal passing sea traffic (but don’t let that piece of wood you’re
hanging onto for dear life drift away). If you see land, swim towards
it.
Then there are pointers in the article that no-one would have thought
of. For instance, try to avoid falling overboard in the first place.
Gee, ya think? And here I was going to just stand there and let someone
toss me over the side. Apparently, if someone tries to offload you,
you should kick and scream and bite to get them to let you go, and
even vomit on the culprit if necessary. That should work. I don’t
think that even the most hardened criminal could handle being thrown
up on.
Here’s a good one: once you are in the water, make as much noise as
you can. This makes perfect sense. Someone on the ship could hear
and run off to get help. Even if someone assures you that they are
going to save you, continue to scream and make a noise. When it comes
to people making a rescue attempt, the more the merrier. Here’s the
portion of this advice that I find somewhat intriguing: don’t laugh,
because people will think you are joking. I cannot help wondering
what event prompted the author of the article to include something
like that.
The best part of the entire article, though, is the final piece of
advice it offers. It’s so good that I’m not even going to try paraphrasing
it. Here it is, as written in the article: “Be reasonable. If you
have been stranded for more than about three or four hours and no
ships have happened to pass by, your chances of survival are extremely
low. While it may be depressing, console yourself with memories of
good times, the fact that you will probably have passed out before
you drown, and that you will soon be in heaven, far away from this
lonely place.”
I don’t know what to say. If the Internet says it, it must be true.
Kaleidoscopically yours,
Kirsten
Comment
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A few weeks ago I went to this presentation on how to be a more helpful
employee. It was pretty enlightening, really, and most of the suggestions
were pretty simple. For example, instead of saying “That’s not my
job”, say “Let me see if I can find someone to help you with that”.
That can make all the difference in the world to a customer’s attitude,
and as you know, a happy customer gives you less grief. This presentation
was mandatory for all employees, however, I fear a few of them took
just a little bit less away from it than the higher ups had hoped.
For example, I got an e-mail today from the secretary in the Nursing
department. She said a student was getting a “No Active Program” error
and couldn’t register. Now, if it is before a semester starts, I know
what the problem probably is. But since the semester started yesterday,
I wouldn’t have a clue what to look for. Well, that’s not exactly
true, but I wouldn’t be allowed to fix it. The registrar’s office
makes changes to student records, I don’t. So while it’s “Not My Job”,
I figured I’d call her and tell her who could help her.
She didn’t sound exactly pleased to hear from me. She was less pleased
to hear that she had to contact the Registrar’s office. She went through
this tirade about how she contacted Admissions and the Registrar’s
office and they couldn’t find anything wrong and that they told her
to call me and that I would fix it. I calmly explained that while
I can fix this error before the semester starts, the thing I know
to check fixes itself the day classes begin. Since the Registrar’s
office actually registers students, they would have a better idea
of what to look for. She reiterated that she had talked to the Registrar’s
office. I asked who she talked to. She suddenly lost her demanding
tone.
It seems she didn’t actually call the Registrar’s office, she called
Joe in Admissions. Joe probably told her to e-mail me, not realizing
the problem I usually fix for him before the semester isn’t the problem
anymore. So I told her to call the Registrar’s office or send them
the e-mail she sent me, and suddenly she got demanding again. “I’m
not going to do that. Joe already checked it out and said you would
fix it.”
Now, this would have been the perfect time to say, “That’s Not My
Job. That’s YOUR job!” But I went to the presentation, so I wanted
to be helpful. I told her I’d take care of it.
I forwarded the e-mail to the Registrar’s office with instructions
to notify the Nursing secretary when it was fixed. I should have just
done that in the first place, instead of trying to be helpful. 
Tim a’Musing
Having a Ball with Yarns
E-mail Dear Tim
Comment
on this article
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Uses For Coffee Filters
[Thanks Deborah]
Apply shoe polish. Ball up a lint-free coffee filter.
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Plenty of good ones this time! Here’s a
classic line for you to try.
Next opening line…
There was a young fellow named Cass…
Hints:
Here’s a great new rhyming/composition tool. http://www.writerhymes.com/
There’s also a great rhyming dictionary at http://www.rhymezone.com/
Limerick rules. http://freespace.virgin.net/merrick.sheldon/limerickrules.htm
Submit
Opening Line
Submit
Limerick
He
stood up and looked right at me—
as if a ghost was what he’d seen—
But then he said "HEY"
Aren’t you Michael Kay?
and then I started laughing with glee. - Cassandra in New York |
He
stood up and looked right at me…
"Your body, dear, wants to be free."
But I have found
by standing my ground
They get bored and then let me be. - Lola |
He stood
up and looked right at me
Or at least he looked at my knee
He was not very tall,
Not tall at all
He was exactly two foot three. - Bonnie |
She stood
up and looked right at me
"In ten years due to an allergy
(But I have been good
And that’s no falsehood)
I haven’t taken one single pea!" - Anne Onimous |
He stood
up and looked right at me
And said, "I propose something steamy!"
I hope he’s a prankster
For I am a lobster
And he’s holding a dip buttery. - Anne Onimous |
He stood
up and looked right at me
And said, "While I’m up to take a pee
You get you’re a$$ in gear
And bring me a cold beer."
His funeral will be on March Three. - Anne Onimous |
He stood
up and looked right at me
"I have flown faster than mach three.
Edwards air base I sought
My approach I overshot
And soon found myself in Tennessee." - Anne Onimous |
He stood
up and looked right at me
"You’re in for a bruisin" says he
I’d given him a slug
and his face hit the rug
Because New Orleans took it by three. — Rae of sunshine |
He stood
up and looked right at me
It was really something to see
A moment before
He’d been dead on the floor
And now was a living mummy - Rae of Sunshine |
She stood
up and looked right at me
And wondered how she could pee
Her surgery entailed
removing all parts that were male
And now the he was a she. — Rae of sunshine |
I had a
discussion with "Rae of Sunshine" on the topic of who
was cuter, Ginger or Mary Ann. I did mention that I used Tina
Louise in my limerick as it rhymed. So she came up with this one:
I’ll face the New Year with a smile
And dream of a tropical lifestyle
With ocean swells
And little Dawn Wells. . .
Whoops! A rerun of Gilligan’s Isle. - E. Cole Aye w/ Rae of Sunshine |
The old
man just sat there and grinned
And said, "I don’t know if I’ve sinned
But I just farted
And only got started
And you, my friend, are standing downwind." - E. Cole Aye |
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Re: Flattery
My favourite story about advertising is from David Ogilvy, a very
talented ad executive. He was in a taxi one day, and mentioned his
job. The driver said that advertising was worthless, it never affected
him. "Maybe you’re right," David answered, "What toothpaste
do you use?" "I use Gleem," replied the driver, "But
it’s not because of the advertising, it’s because I drive cab, and
I don’t have time to brush after every meal!" (parroting their
famous slogan)
Praise is indeed a great social lubricant, if not too thick. - Bob
of the North
Re: Earthcache
First site that comes to mind is the Johnson
Shut-Ins and Elephant
Rock areas about 60 miles south of St. Louis. They are an awesome
sight; however, they are tourist attractions. Another tourist attraction
in the area is the Tom
Sauk reservoir.
Tom Sauk Reservoir owned by Ameren UE was operational in 1963 and
was the largest pumped storage plant in North America. The $50 million
dollar engineering feat is built atop 1,900 foot Proffit Mountain.
When electric demands are low (nightime) water is pumped from the
lower reservoir to the upper reservoir. At peak energy time water
is then released back down to the lower reservoir creating power through
turbines (hydroelectric). The Reservoir is 55 acres and is 92 feet
deep with 1.5 billion gallons of water.
The fact that the reservoir is on top of Proffit Mountain is cool
in itself, but what I thought was even more cool about the site is
at the bottom of the reservoir where the water comes out is a cut-out
in the side of a mountain. You can see the layers of rock in the cut-out
of that mountain and that is interesting. But what I thought was even
more interesting was right in the middle of those layers of rock is
a section of rock that is perpendicular to the layers. At one time
there was a great upheaval in the earth’s crust and right there is
a picture
of it. - Noella
Oh Cliffy, talk about your loaded questions. I live in New Mexico.
There are literally millions of "earthcache" worthy places
here. You’d never live long enough to find them all, even if I lived
long enough to take pictures of them all, and I refuse to get a GPS.
- L&K, herm
Re: Broken Bones
Hey Kat–I know what you mean about the heat and arthritis! When I
lived in Oklahoma the heat of summer made my joints ache worse, especially
my injured leg. Cooler weather, if it’s not bitterly cold seems easier
on them. My hands hurting from the fronts coming through would just
about make me cry sometimes. My pelvis hurts now when the weather
is going through a change. It feels like the muscles are rubbing across
sandpaper where the break was and the scar tissue is now. - Ruth
in WA
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Disclaimer- All quotes printed in this publication are believed to be
accurately attributed, but no guarantees are made that some incorrectly
attributed, or even outright false quotes won’t get in here from time
to time. I assure readers that I will do my best to weed out incorrect
quotes, and will print a retraction as soon as I become aware of any errors.
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