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Greetings, Quotaholics:
I’m the parent of two sons. They are adults now with four children between
them. They grew up to be pretty nice guys, if I do say so myself.
There were
some days when they were younger … There were times when I was ready
to call it quits. There were days when I was ready to walk out and leave
the darlings to their father who was also on my list (at the time). Instead,
we somehow all managed to live through it. It wasn’t easy, but we did
it.
My
children are the biological progeny of me and my husband. I’m still on
my starter husband and so we are just one big usually happy family, but
that’s a different story.
I
know some adopted children and some parents who have adopted. Melissa
and Tony Wescott adopted their son in 2007. He is now 11 so he was eight
or nine when they adopted him.
According
to Good
Morning America, the Oklahoma couple aren’t doing so well. They want
to "unadopt" the child. They have good reason, they say, to
return the child to the state.
Their
son is soon to be released from the locked up psychiatric hospital in
Tulsa where he has been an inpatient for almost a year. The doctors there
say he is no longer a danger either to himself or anyone else. The Wescotts
are afraid to bring him back home.
"He
tried to burn our home down. The note said, ‘I’m sorry you had to die,’"
Melissa Wescott told Good Morning America. She went on to say she and
her husband found butcher knives hidden under the child’s mattress and
lights hidden in his bedroom.
Their
son has been diagnosed with a laundry list of mental health disorders.
Even before being admitted to the hospital, their son was diagnosed with
reactive detachment disorder, disruptive behavior disorder, major depressive
disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder and fetal alcohol syndrome.
He was violent
toward other children and ignored adults. He hurt and killed animals and
ran away from home, causing the police to be involved. The parents say
they are unable to handle this type of behavior and they would like to
return him to the Department of Human Services. The Department does not
want him back, saying adoptive parents should not be treated differently
than birth parents.
If
the Wescotts do not permit the child back in their home, they could be
charged with felony child abandonment. The Wescotts say they have exhausted
their ability to care for this child and he needs more help than they
can provide.
Karen
Poteet runs the state’s post-adoption program and is the adoptive mother
of two. She admits that some children are a bit difficult to handle. Her
own two children were "abused from the moment of conception"
since their birth mother drank. She does not blame the children and deals
with the issues herself, she says.
There
is a way to dissolve an adoption, but it a lengthy and costly ordeal.
The Wescotts say they cannot afford this and are trying to get the law
in Oklahoma changed. The parents claim they were misled about possible
issues with their son. Poteet says all parents are told the children have
been abused and may have issues showing up some time in the future.
The records show
the boy the Wescotts adopted was "well-behaved" and polite.
He was described as "respectful toward authority" and it was
said that he "makes friends easily." The reports said he had
no "significant behavioral problems which would be considered abnormal
for a child his age." Yet within a year of the adoption he was trying
to kill his parents.
Should
there be a way to "return" children who are more than we bargained
for? It is already so difficult to find adoptive homes for all the children
in foster care. Would stories like this one make you rethink any adoptions?
What is not stated in this article is how the child came to be in foster
care in the first place.
If
"parents are parents" as Poteet says, how far do we go? Should
the Wescotts just hope the doctors are right and this time he will not
try to knife them or burn the house down? If they could not cope with
a ten year old (his age when admitted) how will they manage to cope with
a hormone driven teenager? Foster care in the US leaves a lot to be desired.
Do you know of any better system?
Parentally,
P.S.
Since Friday is Christmas we’ll be taking the day off. I hope everyone
has a great holiday, be safe and we’ll see you again on Monday!
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“An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have
been not to have taken it.” - Laurence J. Peter
“Sometimes people carry to such perfection the mask they have assumed
that in due course they actually become the person they seem.” - W.
Somerset Maugham
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Just Wave Back!
[Thanks
Bonnie]
From a passenger
ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting
and desperately waving his hands.
A passenger asks the captain, “Who is that man, and why is he so upset?”
“I’ve no idea,” the captain says, “but every year when we pass by,
he goes nuts.”
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“The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.”
“I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible… and I wish
to thank my children for making it necessary.”
“If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that’s
my reward.” - All from Danish-born comedian and pianist Victor Borge
who died on this date in 2000
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BJ submitted a couple of wonderful Christmas stories (sorry, I couldn’t
pick just one). Here’s your 15 minutes BJ. Excuse me, I
seem to have something in my eye…
The
Pig Who Saved Christmas
My mom and I were poor when I was young. I remember once when my father
gave her ten dollars(he owed thousands), she cried. She worked two jobs
to support us and I sold donuts in the neighborhood(I made 25 cents
for every box sold).
We didn’t have a car, but we had each other. The divorce was tough on
mom and on me. The stigma of a divorced woman back in the early 50’s
is so much different than today.
If I wanted to see a movie I would go downtown on Saturdays, catch a
serial, a feature for free. I would walk home to save the 25 cents for
the bus ride. The walk was about eight miles one way.
The point is, Christmas was an imposing time for us. How could we have
money for Christmas. Well mom had an idea. She bought us a red plaster
pig and we would put pennies into it. As Christmas would near, the pig
would divulge it’s contents and that would be our Christmas. I know
this pig holds about 30-35 dollars in pennies. I would get 1/2 of the
money and mom would get 1/2 and off we would go to buy our presents.
A person can get a lot for 15 dollars if they are careful, pencils,
papers, some board games, a few books, some toys could all be purchased
for less than 15 dollars. I would buy mom some costume jewelry, perfume
and maybe a teddy bear.
No we didn’t have the expensive gifts, but we had ourselves a wonderful
Christmas each year thanks to our special pig(which I still have).
A
Gift of Giving
Looking
forward to Christmas 1995, to me, described a paradox. How can one enjoy
Christmas when their loving spouse recently passed away from cancer,
and yet Christmas is a time for celebration…
I had a friend, recently divorced, who was going through his first Christmas
without his children that he loved so dearly. I called my friend and
invited him over to my house for Christmas. He didn’t seem overly thrilled,
but had nothing else to do. I did the same for another divorced person
who had a day without family or friends. I told them to dress nice but
withheld my plans from them.
The three of us, at my house, made Christmas canes from pipe cleaners,
and after an hour I told my friends to get in my van, as I had a surprise
for them.
So off we went.
First stop, a nursing home, left few dry eyes. We visited the ones who
had no company, prayed with them and left them little Christmas canes
and some candy. One lady, feeling really bad, asked us to pray
for her. So we prayed with our hands on her body, and we felt a Power
hard to describe.
Second stop, Presbyterian hospital…cancer wing. First you need
to understand how hospitals work with the sick. If possible, patients
are sent home for the holidays. The ones remaining in the hospital live
too far, are too ill, or have no support from family or friends. About
1/2 of the cancer wing was deserted.
We visited the staff and gave them candy and our little Christmas canes,
then we visited the dying and ill. How can one describe being humbled?
The patients asked for our prayers. We visited with every patient in
the wing. We left the patients with a smile. When we left the hospital,
we had nothing else left to give, but we received much. Our emotions
were drained, we were exhausted, in tears but felt elevated to a ‘high’
impossible to describe. We all thought "But for the grace of God’…
Last stop. We visited my wife’s grave, decorated it, placed candles
and sang Silent Night. Our voices were quivering because we found Christmas
that day. We gave all we had to give, and it cost us about five hours
of our time and about two dollars in pipe cleaners and candy. I said
a silent prayer of thanks to my wife for teaching me to give.
May we, in this crazy but special time of year learn from the Teacher
of teachers, Giving IS better than receiving. Merry Christmas to all,
and a happy new year. - B.J. in Guthrie
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Christmas
December 25th. The day after the 24th. The day before the 26th. It’s
just like June 25th, only the weather is just the opposite and the Earth
is on the complete other side of the sun in it’s annual circumnavigation
of our star.
Eons ago, or what seems so now, someone decided to recognize the birth
of Jesus on this day. It really isn’t his birthday, but someone must
have felt we needed a holiday in December. Yes, I have heard how the
Pagan celebration of the winter solstice was morphed into a Christian
celebration, but that’s off by a few days. Yes, I have heard how the
Druid celebration was morphed into a Christian celebration, but I have
no clue how accurate that is either. All I know is, a celebration is
planned just about all over the planet.
Other religions have significant celebrations about the same time. Coincidence?
In some cases, yes. The Muslim’s use a different calendar and their
celebration of Ramadan is scheduled on that calendar, not the Julian
calendar. Because of this, Ramadan will occur at different times of
the year depending how the two calendars merge. The same thing applies
to the Jewish calendar. They use a similar calendar to the Muslim calendar
so the holy days also "float" compared to the Julian calendar.
The Chinese, Japanese, and other Asian cultures have their own calendars
which causes Buddhist, Shinto, and other religions, to have celebrations
which seem to change dates.
Many religions have set aside a period in the middle of winter as a
celebratory time. As mentioned, the Druids, and others, set aside a
time near the winter solstice to celebrate. In almost every instance,
the celebrations are of a "good will" nature. It is a focus
to be kind to, and with, others. If we can remove the religion onion
skins from it, the central core remains very similar. It just seems
the Christian celebration, by name, has overshadowed the others.
Most of the world has, in trying to maintain an all-inclusive "political
correctness", adopted a "happy holidays" attitude. Some
feel this removes the importance of their particular celebrations. A
homogenous "seasons greetings" has taken over the public face
of the holidays. Without listing the array of different celebrations,
they all merge in the public eye as one holiday season. It allows everyone
to wish all others a "happy holiday", yet also allows for
a private celebration of the particular religious or secular event of
choice.
Here’s your quiz:
Without trying to prove which one is "right", tell us which
holiday do you celebrate?
Do you do anything unusual or unique in your celebrations of the holiday?
Have you had the opportunity to participate in an alternate celebration
with someone of another religion, and experience their traditions?
Christmas - A Specific Day, But More An All-Inclusive And Shared Concept
Cliff (the High-Tech Redneck who doesn’t rate a fancy ’signature pic’)
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Email Kirsten
“Ho
ho ho! Hairy Christmas!”
~ Kirsten’s son James ~
I am trapped in Christmas preparation hell. With two days to go before
Christmas, the kids’ presents are bought but everytime I try to wrap
them after the boys are in bed, one of the kids develops a sudden problem
with sleep. My dearly beloved’s present hasn’t even been bought yet
and I’m still searching for inspiration. The turkey has been taken out
of the freezer to defrost, but I have no idea where I’m going to find
the time to actually cook it. Against my better judgement, I’ve invited
people to randomly “drop in” so I don’t really know who to expect when.
I’m feeling a bit fraught because of all this Christmas stuff, so I
don’t really have the time or energy to write anything coherent tonight.
So I will just say to all of you, Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy
Kwanzaa, or simply, Happy Holidays.
To my fellow writers of this great ezine - Patti, Cliff, Tim - I’ve
had a really great year being a part of this with you.
To the former writers - Faithy, Robin - thank you for helping shape
this ezine into what it is.
To our dear departed friend Sied - we miss you and hope you’re having
a blast, wherever you are.
To Bruce, we love you even though you abandoned us. Seriously, I hope
things are working out for you.
To Mike, thanks for keeping the ship not only afloat but sailing strongly.
You have succeeded in keeping the original character of RGQ while adding
your own unique flair.
To those contributors past and present who I have not named - and I
know there’s someone - thank you for what you have done. The only reason
I have not named you is because my brain’s not working tonight.
Most of all, to the readers, thank you for being there. You’re the reason
this motley crew of writers has banded together to produce this ezine.
I wish everyone the best festive season ever.
Kaleidoscopically yours,
Kirsten
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I swear they are out to get me. Okay, perhaps only our associate registrar
is out to get me. Sometimes it amazes me what she expects me to do.
Allow me to explain.
First, final grades for the semester were due by noon today. As usual,
some of the part-time faculty didn’t have accounts to enter grades.
A few of them e-mailed me from their college e-mail address, which
makes it easy for me to look up their login credentials and e-mail
them to them. Some e-mailed from off-campus addresses like yahoo.com.
That makes things a little more difficult as I can’t send passwords
to non-college accounts. Those I look up in the payroll system and
change their temporary password to the last six digits of their social
security number. But I couldn’t find this one professor anywhere in
our system.
Normal procedure would dictate I forward the e-mail to the registrar’s
office and let them sort it out. But it just so happened that our
associate registrar walked in at the very moment I was about to hit
send. I decided to ask her if she knew this faculty member. She said
no, and asked me what the professor taught. I guess she thinks I’m
psychic or something, but since I’m not, I said no. She told me to
e-mail the professor back and ask what they taught. The problem with
that solution is that it is her job to find out about the faculty,
not mine. My job is to get them logged into my web site. I could get
this professor logged in, but it wouldn’t do any good since there
was no record of them teaching any classes. They wouldn’t be able
to enter grades anyway. The associate registrar had to solve this
— it is exactly her job. She ended up calling me back about half
an hour later to let me know they had spelled the name wrong, but
why didn’t she just say she’d take care of it like she should have?
Does she really expect me to do her job?
But she didn’t stop there. This afternoon she broke her printer.
There is a sensor that tells when the cover is open. She was trying
to add paper, which doesn’t involve opening the cover, and ended up
opening the cover so far it broke the sensor off. She wanted me to
fix it right away. So I went up to her office and took a look. I tried
to get the “cover open” error message to appear, because it disappears
once the sensor detects the cover is closed. So I got the “cover open”
message to appear on her screen and turned to work on the printer.
A few seconds later I turned around and the message was gone. I told
her I think I fixed it, and she told me she closed the message. WTF????
I told her to back away from the PC and let me do my job. So I got
the message to appear again, and a couple seconds later, it disappeared
again. Once again I told her I think it was fixed, and she announced
that she had unplugged the printer. I’m sorry, but didn’t I just tell
you to stay away and let me do my job? But she can’t do that. She
won’t do her job, but she thinks she can do mine.
Anyway, I announced the printer was dead, and she demanded an immediate
replacement. I told her to just use the big laser printer right outside
her office. She said that one jams all the time. I asked if I should
call for service on it, and she started demanding a new printer now.
Again I asked if I should call for service, and she said something
about it printing out of the wrong tray. I asked if it was printing
out of the wrong tray or jamming, and she went into this tirade about
needing a printer now. I pointed out there was another large laser
printer about 30 feet away. She said she couldn’t be bothered using
that one, she needed one on her desk. She had transcripts to print
and didn’t have the time. She had just wasted over an hour of my time
trying to fix a printer she broke, but she didn’t have the time to
walk 30 feet. I told her it was time for me to go home and I suggested
she did the same.
I swear she’s out to get me. No one else expects me to do their job,
and when they ask me to do mine, they let me. Not our associate registrar.
She won’t be happy until she drives me to the loony bin. My only hope
is they find her first.
Tim a’Musing
Having a Ball with Yarns
E-mail Dear Tim
Comment
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Miscellaneous Tips
For fluffier, whiter rice, add one teaspoon of lemon juice per quart
of water. To add extra flavor and nutrition to rice, cook it in liquid
reserved from cooking vegetables.
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Good job! Give this a try.
Next opening line…
Your present is under my tree…
Hints:
Here’s a great new rhyming/composition tool. http://www.writerhymes.com/
There’s also a great rhyming dictionary at http://www.rhymezone.com/
Limerick rules. http://freespace.virgin.net/merrick.sheldon/limerickrules.htm
Submit
Opening Line
Submit
Limerick
Saint
Nick is a comin’ to town—
because all of the kids are down—
the girl was a cryin’
no planes were a flyin’
so who will bring the lass her gown? - Cassandra in New York |
Saint
Nick is a commin’ to town…..
His belly shaking, o so round…..
As he laughs and laughs so very loud…..
And leaves the gifts for the waiting crowd…..
Of kids his reindeer found. - Skeeter |
Saint Nick
is a commin’ to town…..
Then chimneys he’s a commin’ down…..
He’ll end up covered with lots of soot…..
From his head down to his booted foot…..
And leave without makin’ a sound. - Skeeter |
Saint Nick
is a-comin’ to town
With his wife in a red velvet gown.
They’re shopping at Macy’s
And some other places,
Weighing the big sleigh way down! - Nancy L in Ohio |
Saint Nick
is a-goin’ from town
All those things she bought making him frown.
Dresses and undies
A new hat for Sundays,
He thinks she will look like a clown. - Nancy L in Ohio |
Saint Nick
is commin to town
Pulling his sleigh are reindeers of brown
He brings lots of presents
Whether for the rich or for peasants
For this, he is quite renown. - Bonnie |
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Re: Hooter’s
Since Hooters is really
selling eye-candy (the food is only secondary) I do not think that
it is a family oriented business.
The outfits that the girls wear are designed to entice guys to lust
after the girls.
I have been to a Hooters. Once with my wife where we had a so-so hamburger,
and once with office mates. The noise level was extreme.
It was inappropriate for the teacher to bring her students the Hooters.
- Cya…Dan’l
Just to recap,
the place is named for a part of the female anatomy NOT AN OWL. Why
not just allow your child to go to a hotdog joint named Cock with
young men waiting on you with that part of their anatomy lets just
say enhanced? Makes almost as much sense. Laura in Minneapolis
Hooters… Great chicken
drumetts, attentive and cheerful waitresses. It is amazing what actually
going to a restaurant, and relaxing there can do to make a person
understand that people are people. The only irritation is that sometimes
the music is a bit too loud.
Notice, no comment
about too revealing uniforms for the waitresses. This is the deep
south, the kids in school wear more sensual outfits to school. - Ike
Been to Hooters
many times in FL …. I have even been to the one in Clearwater, the
ORIGINAL one that started as a biker bar. Furthermore, after my dad
died, my 90 year old mom wanted to go to Hooters to see what all the
fuss was about. (My dad would never take her, a real meat and potatoes
man he would never go to a "strange" place like that, not
even a Chinese restaurant.) Bottom line, she was not that impressed.
Thought the waitresses were dressed a bit skimpily but no big deal.
- Niteowl
[Wow, a bunch of new contributors today.
Welcome Dan’l, Laura, Ike and Niteowl!]
Bill and I ate
at Hooters one day - it seemed as no big deal to me. The only difference
in the waitresses there and other places was their low tops and short
shorts. They were overly friendly to my husband - but pleasant to
me. Would we take our boys? yes. Would we take their friends? We’d
probably check with the parents first - at least I would.
I would say Hooters is not nearly as bad as the bikini
baristas out in the Seattle area. - Noella
I have
a friend who moved to Colorado from South Texas. He said when he arrived
here he longed for some of the down-home chow he’d had his whole life,
which caused him to enter The Armadillo restaurant.
After receiving his menu he began to peruse the options and waved
the waitress over to ask a question, (and he recounted the conversation
to me).
Q: "Where’s the armadillo?"
A: "What?"
Q: "Where’s the armadillo. I’ve looked over this entire menu
and I can’t find any armadillo. Is it called something else?"
A: "We don’t serve armadillo here."
Q: "Down in Texas we eat armadillo all the time!" This place
is called The Armadillo, how can you NOT have armadillo on the menu?"
A: "Well, we just don’t."
Q: "Look… when I go into Burger King I expect to have a burger,
when I go into Taco Bell, I expect to buy a taco, when I go into Macaroni
Grill I know I can get macaroni…" So I asked him, "What
do you expect to get when you go into Hooters?" - Bruce in Colorado
[Owl??]
I’ve been to Hooters.
The food was lousy, as was the service. The one I went to was in San
Antonio. However, the one in Lafayette, IN is my favorite. It is across
the street from "Dick’s Sporting Supplies" I don’t know
what high school kids are like today, but in my day, there might have
been a few giggles, but nothing more harmful. I wish the nannies among
us would find business to mind that wasn’t mine. - Lucille
Yes. I’ve been
to a Hooters. It’s slightly risque, but nothing pornographic. The
worst part about Hooters, is what happens behind the scenes. Hooters
girls frequently complain of sexual harrassment by management, and
they are subject to rigorous weight standards. Much worse than airline
stewardesses were back in the day. No, the choir director should not
have been placed on leave. - L&K, herm
Heck yes, he/she over-reacted,
if the place was named Wednesdays, it would have been no big deal.
Ladies wear less in the summer than the waitresses there so it is
no big deal. Get a life, get some wings and relax, there are bigger
fish to fry in the world. - BJ in Guthrie
Re: Smells
Sheets hung out
on a line to dry in the summer time have a definite scent to them
- a nice clean fresh scent. A much stronger, less fresh scent is children
coming in from recess. But I think it’s the same scent - only stronger.
I guess the heavy cold air makes the difference.
I also notice if I put on perfume in the house - I can’t smell it.
But if I walk outside, it’s the first scent I smell.
I also think that cold air will mask a scent whereas warm air seems
to enhance it. - Noella
Several distinct smells
in my lifetime. The smell of an oil refinery…like eggs, (yeck),
the smell of freshly cut hay alfalfa (great aroma), and the smell
of feeding ground for beef (ack). These are the ones I remember the
most, I got used to the refinery, never to the stockyards, but loved
the smell of freshly cut hay. - BJ in Guthrie
Yes, I have noticed
the smell of the air at different temperatures, especially after a
rain - it is sweeter. Cold air smells super fresh.
But we all experience environmental air smells, and if you want to
get a whiff of the worst stench ever, visit Beaufort, North Carolina
when the Menhaden are running and the small factory there is making
pet food! Yuch! Nancy L in Ohio
I too, notice different
smells when it is warm than when it is cold. I notice that some smells
are much stronger when it is warm, and then when it is cold the smells
that were strong go away, but new smells come out. I never really
thought about it until I visited a friend of mine who has many animals
in her home. I noticed that when she ran her air conditioner that
the smells were not as strong as when she did not. It was really strange
because I never knew before that the temps in a house or outside could
make a difference in the way something smelled. - Happy
Holidays! Celine Kitty, Rowdy Dog, and the Tazz!
Re: Santa
I love the thoughts
of Santa, but this article made me laugh. How true it really is, and
how funny too. I couldn’t help but laugh though. Now, do you let your
kids believe in Santa? - Happy
Holidays! Celine Kitty, Rowdy Dog, and the Tazz!
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Disclaimer- All quotes printed in this publication are believed to be
accurately attributed, but no guarantees are made that some incorrectly
attributed, or even outright false quotes won’t get in here from time
to time. I assure readers that I will do my best to weed out incorrect
quotes, and will print a retraction as soon as I become aware of any errors.
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