Really Good Quotes

Archive for January, 2009

January 26, 2009

Monday, January 26th, 2009

Really Good Quotes "A mind, once expanded by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Greetings, Quotaholics

I hate to miss an issue, but I have been searching for hours for something good to write about and just haven’t been able to find anything.

Hopefully I’ll be back Friday. In the meantime, enjoy the rest of today’s issue.

Failingly,

Isn’t it worth $1 a month to you to keep RGQ going? Please click the link and direct your contribution to reallygoodquotes@gmail.com.

"Fiction was invented the day Jonah arrived home and told his wife that he was three days late because he had been swallowed by a whale." - Gabriel García Márquez, Colombian novelist and short-story writer

"Don’t worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you’ll have to ram them down people’s throats." - Howard Aiken, American computer engineer and mathematician (1900-1973)

Pastor’s Glasses
[Thanks to Bonnie in Louisiana]

I had a pastor friend who went into the pulpit one Sunday morning wearing a pair of new bifocals. The reading portion of the glasses improved his vision considerably, but the top portion of the glasses didn’t work so well. In fact he was experiencing dizziness every time he looked through them.

He explained to the congregation that the new glasses were causing problems, "I hope you will excuse my continually removing my glasses," he said. "You see when I look down I can see fine, but when I look at you, it makes me sick."

"A belief is not merely an idea the mind possesses; it is an idea that possesses the mind." -Robert Bolton

"I think all of us have a sense if we imagine the kind of world we would face if the people who bombed the mess hall in Mosul, or the people who did the bombing in Spain, or the people who attacked the United States in New York, shot down the plane over Pennsylvania and attacked the Pentagon, the people who cut off peoples’ heads on television to intimidate, to frighten–indeed the word ‘terrorized’ is just that. Its purpose is to terrorize, to alter behavior, to make people be something other than that which they want to be." - Donald Rumsfeld, December 24, 2004, stating that Flight 93 was shot down

"Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring." - Oscar Wilde, Irish poet, novelist, dramatist and critic (1854-1900)

Warning Signs

E-Mail the Imp

Misdiagnosis. That’s a terrible word when you think about it. If your car is making a funny noise you take it to a mechanic. He makes a “diagnosis” that you have rocker arm failure or some other expensive repair action, and after the job is done you still have a funny noise. It turns out that your five year old fed pebbles into your defroster vents. You may even go through the ineffective repair process more than once before you find out what Junior did. (I won’t contemplate what you did to Junior.)

At least when your car problems are misdiagnosed you are left with frustration, less money, possibly some anger, and some distrust for the repair center that screwed it up. But it’s not a threat to life and limb…unless you complained about spongy brakes, they changed the wiper blades, and you rear end a bus when you leave the shop.

Getting a misdiagnosis by the medical community is very common. It usually occurs in emergency rooms but even occurs in prestigious medical facilities like the Mayo Clinic. There are several reasons for a misdiagnosis to occur. Inexperience of doctors in the ER. The rush to see a gazillion patients in the ER. Patients not explaining exactly what their symptoms are. Symptoms that are similar between diseases or disorders. Testing errors by lab technicians.

Thankfully most times the misdiagnosis is not life threatening. It’s hard to mistake a gunshot wound for a common headache, although it did happen. It may be a common cold mistaken for the flu or vice versa. Sometimes there may be a correct diagnosis, but an incorrect treatment. Most often it involves a medication mix up, but could include surgery. A Tampa doctor amputated the wrong leg of a patient, and in 2005, five such incorrect leg amputations were made.

Then of course there are the misdiagnoses that are merely humorous, though they may be scary to the patient when delivered. Imagine being married, the father of five, trying for six to no avail. You go to the doctor and are mistakenly told you’re sterile. Hopefully the doctor corrects the diagnosis before the divorce is final, if the marriage can be saved.

Topping the list of a diagnosis gone awry that is really a rib tickler is the case of 71 year old John Grady Pippen of Gold Beach, Oregon. He was admitted to the hospital complaining of abdominal pains. After tests and treatment, he was being discharged with a note from the hospital staff that said, "Based on your visit today, we know you are pregnant."

The article doesn’t state whether Old John had to be treated for shock or not, whether he needed a quick change of underwear, or exactly how many shyster lawyers hanging around the ER hurt themselves chasing Old John to give him a business card. I hope Old John has a sense of humor and some good Tennessee sour mash whiskey at home.

The Bad Sied

Click here for guidelines on 15 Minutes submissions

Speak Up!
Speak right up!

On this day in history, January 26, 1905: The Cullinan Diamond is found. The largest rough gem quality diamond was found at the Premier Diamond Mining Company in Cullinan – today called Gauteng – South Africa. The mine was owned by Sir Thomas Cullinan and Frederick Wells, the surface manager, found the diamond while on a routine inspection. The uncut gem weighed in at 3,106.75 carats (1.3698 pounds or 621.35 grams). Sir William Crookes analyzed the uncut gem noting its clarity but also stating there was a black spot in the center, probably due to internal strain.

The diamond was sent to England. Security was an issue. The diamond was to be sent by steamer ship from Africa to London, surrounded by Detectives. This was a ruse and the diamond was actually sent in a plain box via parcel post – registered mail. There is no record of any attempt made against the diversionary fake sent by ship. The gem was purchased by the Transvaal government, an area in northern South Africa, and presented to King Edward VII for his birthday, November 8.

A diamond with a flaw is worth more than a pebble without imperfections. - Chinese Proverb

Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all. - Mark Twain

I have always felt a gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself. - Mae West

Email Kirsten

“I started to shave and I just couldn’t believe how old I looked, because I looked like an old man compared to how I felt. Geez, the gray hair, the bags under the eyes; I didn’t feel that old. I didn’t think I should be that old.”
~ Benjaman Kyle ~

Today I am going to ask you to use your imagination. I am going to paint a picture with words, and you are going to be at the centre of the picture. I want you to imagine - or try to imagine - what it would be like to be in this picture. How would you feel? What would you do? How would you deal with your circumstances and get on with your life?

It is early in the morning - maybe 6:00 a.m. - in late August. It is hot and sunny - what most of us would call a beautiful summer day. Staff are arriving at a Burger King in Georgia, preparing it to open for business for the day. A cleaning lady passes by a dumpster behind the restaurant, and finds you lying there. You are naked, badly sunburned, and covered with ant bites. You have been badly beaten. You are unconscious, and have nothing with you - no keys, no wallet, nothing to tell anyone who you are or who they should call. An ambulance takes you to the local hospital. They think you are homeless, they refer to you as a bum, they don’t do more than a cursory investigation into who you might be.

When you regain consciousness, you find that you cannot see. Prolonged exposure to the sun has rendered you blind; cataract surgery is performed. You have no idea how you wound up naked beside a dumpster. You have no memory of the events leading to your discovery. You don’t know how you got there or where you came from. You don’t even know your name, you don’t know who your family or friends are, you don’t know where you live, what you drive, or what you do for a living. You cannot name your parents or siblings, you don’t know where you were born or where you’ve been. You have absolutely no memories of your life. You don’t even recognize your own face. It’s as if your existence began with your discovery next to that dumpster.

Imagining this scenario, the words “extreme fear and confusion” are the first to come to my mind. I cannot begin to fathom what it must be like to wake up one day with no identity and no sense of who I was. It must be utterly bewildering and overwhelming. Fortunately, it is not something that is likely to happen to the vast majority of us. However, it is the reality for Benjaman Kyle, who was found outside a Burger King in August, 2004. Since that terrifying day, Benjaman has been trying to piece together the non-existent fragments of his life. He has been searching for his family, his hometown, his past, and his identity.

He says that the name “Benjaman” just popped into his head, complete with the unorthodox spelling. He instinctively senses that it is either his name or the name of someone he was close to in his previous existence. His last name - Kyle - is one that he made up himself, for the sake of having a full name. He is articulate and highly intelligent; he is clearly educated and has a sophisticated knowledge of restaurant equipment. He believes that he is ten years to the day older than Michael Jackson, giving him a possible birthdate of August 29, 1948. He thinks that he has been to Denver, that he may have been born in Indianapolis, and that he may have three brothers. This information is not based on memories or knowledge, it is just a sense that he has, maybe stemming from memories that have not quite disappeared completely.

I first heard of Benjaman’s story on The Dr. Phil Show, where he described his difficulties in moving on with his life. Without a name or confirmed date of birth, he cannot get a Social Security number. Without a Social Security number, he cannot get a job. He cannot get a drivers’ license or rent a place to live. In the eyes of the law, he is nobody.

But in the eyes of his friend Katherine, he is definitely somebody. Katherine is a psychiatric nurse who met Benjaman when he was in hospital. She has become an avid advocate for Benjaman, providing him with a home and helping him track down his identity. Her professional opinion is that Benjaman’s amnesia is a result of psychological stress and trauma rather than brain damage. Something really bad happened to this man, she believes, that he has mentally blocked out for the sake of mental survival.

In an effort to figure out who Benjaman is, the authorities have run his fingerprints through all the national databases. This has not revealed anything, except that Benjaman is not a convicted criminal and that’s he’s never served in the armed forces. It is now left up to the public to see if they know who Benjaman is or where he came from. Below are pictures of what Benjaman looks like today, what he might have looked like ten years ago, and what he might have looked like twenty years ago.

(Images used with the permission of The Doe Network)

All it might take to reunite Benjaman with his past is one person. And there is a chance, however small, that that one person will read this article. If that person is you, and you know who Benjaman is or where he came from, you can contact The Dr. Phil Show or refer to Benjaman’s page on The Doe Network.

Because everyone deserves an identity.

Kaleidoscopically yours,
Kirsten

So I was taking a nap. It was one of those Saturday afternoon I don’t have anything to do so I’m going to rest for a while naps. Very effective. I plan one every week. It’s “my time”. You need to keep some “unwind” time for yourself, you know?

Then my phone rang. It isn’t supposed to do that when I’m sleeping. That might wake me up, which it did. So I picked it up and reminded it that “I’m sleeping.”

Phones are a lot smarter than people. My neighbor then walked over and knocked on ny door. Please understand that I can reach over and answer my phone when I’m sleeping, but I have to be willing to get out of bed to answer the door. I wasn’t.

I tried to get back to sleep, but I couldn’t. A couple hours later, my neighbor knocked on my door again. He wanted to apologize for disturbing me.

That was pretty much counter-productive. I mean, if you disturb me once, I can live with it. If you disturb me twice, the second time to apologize for disturbing me the first time, I’m going to become not happy. Which I did, and he left.

Now I only told you that so I could tell you this: My phone rang again.

I figured it was my neighbor. I let it ring for a while, perhaps 7-8 times before I answered it. “Hello?”

It was Ed, my other neighbor. He was back from a long trip and wanted to know if I had a cold beer. It was good to see him again, and I did.

So why did I tell you that?

Well, I had to write something new, now didn’t I? Otherwise this Mike might fire me.

Oh, if you want a “moral of the story” kind of thing, don’t judge the phone by the ring.

Tim a’Musing
Having a Ball with Friends

P.S. Hope you’re feeling better, Kirsten, even if you do spell your name wrong.

Uses For Old Newspaper

Place in closed windows to eliminate wind rattle. - NorCalKat

Pat included the following note;

Ok, it’s been a long time since I sent in limericks, but I couldn’t resist the challenge to come up with clean ones. Here are two (& my friends swear the 2nd one is true - Vick’s VapoRub on your feet can stop coughing - I haven’t tried it but they have and swear it works) (wear socks after applying)

So looks like limericks can be clean and educational too! Who knew??

Don’t be like Pat, don’t get out of the habit of sending limericks. And now that you’ve started again Pat, don’t stop!

Next opening line…
The weather’s so cold I could die…

Hints: Here’s a great new rhyming/composition tool. http://www.writerhymes.com/
There’s also a great rhyming dictionary at http://www.rhymezone.com/
Limerick rules. http://freespace.virgin.net/merrick.sheldon/limerickrules.htm

Submit Opening Line
Submit Limerick

One night I decided for kicks To try cookies that came from a mix So easy, it’s true But they tasted like glue So from scratch now the cookies I fix - Pat	One night I decided for kicks To test email I’d gotten ‘bout Vicks When coughing won’t stop On my feet I do slop And quickly the cough it does fix - Pat
One night I decided for kicks To check my old dog for ticks Imagine my surprise When between his two thighs I found that he was carrying two dicks! - Bonnie	One night I decided for kicks— to go out on pick up some tricks— but he wasn’t my buddy he beat me up all blody while using a tough pair of sticks. - Cassandra in New York
An Internet surfer named Joe— went online, looking for a ‘ho— and although he did find someone new who was quite kind it turned out just to be a ‘bro. - Cassandra in New York

Re: Adopt A Highway

I havn’t littered in decades, but if I saw a sign declaring that the KKK was going to pick up my trash, I’d clean out the car on the spot, or come back with more. These things should be self-limiting. I’m sure that the Bay Area Pagan Assembly picks up some extra, weird, stuff on their rounds. - Bob of the North

Well, while I adopt absolutely none of this particular group’s beliefs, the problem is, that if we’re going to say no discrimination then we have to, mean it. The problem is that our nation has lost its back bone, and we’re allowing any thing to pass for discrimination.

You heard of the silly woman in a wheel chair suing the Dolly Wood Park for giving free tickets to the handicap didn’t you? Well, I’m blind, and the giving away of free tickets is the only reason I ever got to go. Well, this woman was allowed to not only have her day in court, but she won! Can you believe it? An organization such as the ADA (Adults With Disabilities Act) actually took on this case. That is not at all what that organization was built for. Now, we have to be faced with all sorts of groups and nuts who think that they’re special because they have a different life style as well as Handicap people misusing the word discrimination for just any old reason.

This is a sad state of affairs that the nation has allowed itself to be in, but the point to my tale is this. Either we’re going to go by the constitution as it is written or we’re going to stand up and say, NO! and do something about this. Now, as far as them cleaning up trash? I think that’s about the only job those people are good for is picking up trash. As they say, Birds of a feather. Well, Trash belongs with trash. If you dare, print that. - Tazz

About the "Adopt a Highway" thing: At least we would now we know where to dump nuclear waste. - Rich

Hi: I remember reading about the first instance where the KKK wanted permission to ‘adopt-a-highway’ and had been turned down, then allowed to do so. If I remember correctly, the locals didn’t like the idea of advertising for a bunch of racist assholes, so they renamed the section of road they would maintain the Martin Luther King Highway, and they (KKK) gave up on the idea. The story may not be true, but, who knows. If the state should rename the particular stretch of highway to something truly offensive to the nazis and make the name signs very visible, they might go away too. (Golda Mayer Roadway, MLK Road, etc, etc) - Jacques (in S-E Ont)

I’d read about the KKK group who adopted a stretch of hi-way a few years back and figured that as long as all they did was pick up trash, that was okay with me. I don’t think the KKK is taken too seriously these days. That organization is much smaller and much less influential than it was back in the 50’s and 60’s. Thank God.

Now the National Socialist Movement wants to pick up trash also. Sure, put ‘em to work doing something useful. Just so long as they don’t try to become a legitimate political party.

I’m not surprised that only one person objected to the group’s participation in the hi-way clean-up. The average American under 40 has no idea that a national socialist is a nazi.

Let the nazis and klanners pick up trash. Trash cleaning up trash. I love it. - Pam in Arkansas

Re: Perfect Partners

Well Patti, you did ask. My husband is absolutely perfect. We married 34 years ago and I’ve neither heard from nor seen him in 8 1/2 years. That is the best gift he could possibly ever have given me and if I could thank him without having to actually see him, I’d do it.

- Lola

Re: Limerick Line

Well, now this sure did get my attention. In the first place we here in the U.S. have something called freedom of speech. In the second place, I think that President Obama would be very disappointed if RGQ stopped using these types of limericks. Do you not know any thing about Obama? Most assuredly not, from the look of this comment here.

I mean all he’s talked about is freedom of choice. What on this earth is wrong with you? Seems to me you’ve got the problem, not our President. And who are you going to help or hurt if you unsubscribe? I mean if you stay, you have the option to post your comments and views too, but if you leave all that will say is that you just can’t handle the heat. - Tazz

Re: The Economy

I wasn’t going to say anything about this because the economy is such a sore subject with me right now. Look, I’m middle-aged and single. I made $25,000 last year, after I got a raise I’d been waiting on for three !@#$%^&* years. Because the company I work for was acquired by a larger company last year, no one on my account will receive a raise this year to avoid laying people off. I was just barely making it and then the economy went down the toilet. AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

If my paternal granny and my mom hadn’t been nice enough to die and leave me a few thousand, I’d probably be living out of my subcompact car right now. And you want me to spend money on cars and houses and clothes and luxury items. Don’t get me to cussin’!!!!

I’d like to get a second job if I could stay out of the doctor’s office. I’ve just recovered from a sinus infection that lasted about 2 1/2 months and needed a second round of antibiotics. Two days before Christmas, I slipped on ice and fell hard. No lasting damage, but I was in pain for a while. On top of all that, I’m falling apart and battling depression and should be able to take it easier than this.

For those of you who live outside the south, my salary is pretty average for someone who didn’t go to college. Unfortunately, Arkansas is usually listed as THE poorest state in the union. Occasionally, Mississippi takes over that position. Thanks, Mississippi!

I say all this to illustrate the point that the average lower middle-class American ain’t got it to spend and never did! We got suckered into thinking we could live a lifestyle we couldn’t afford and now we’re screwed. It’s all we can do to pay for the basics like food and shelter. So don’t be looking to people like me to get us out of this mess, okay? Okay. - Pam in Arkansas
[Pam, I understand what you’re saying. Many of us, myself included, live pretty much paycheck to paycheck. Many of us don’t have a lot of extra income to spend any old way we want to. But I think most of us do have a few things we spend on that could be cut out. Like eating out, buying a few extras at the grocery, going to a movie, etc. What I’m saying is that with the gloomy news every day, many of us quit spending anything extra.

If everyone decided to quit eating out, the restaurants would all go out of business and there go all those jobs. If we decided to spend $25 dollars less a week at the grocery, they would have to layoff workers and farmers would see less income. If we quit going to the movies, the theaters would close or layoff employees and the people involved in the movie industry would see less income. Every dollar we don’t spend affects many others and costs the country more jobs.

I’ve heard of people who have cut out all extra spending, which hurts the economy more, and then take the money saved and put it under the mattress because they are afraid the banks are going to collapse. This not only hurts the economy, it also hurts the banks and the people the banks would have loaned the money to if it had been deposited.

I figure if I lose my job I’m done for anyway, so why panic and quit spending now. Might as well pick up bargains while I can!

And yes I’ve heard the saying “Thank God for Mississippi. They keep Arkansas from being last in everything”.]

Reader Submission

A Poem from Sasquatch

Rock
See rock!
See rock sit?
See rock get hot?
Rock, rock, rock…..

Rock
See rock!
See rock not move?
See rock get cold?
Rock, rock, rock….

Rock
See rock!
Rock now break.
Rock no longer rock.
Rock now sand.
Rock, rock, rock.

No see rock no more.
Rock now in concrete
Concrete make rock into highway
Rock, rock, rock.

Now rock goes on for miles and miles
Rock now highway connecting lives
Rock now useful as highway
Rock, rock, rock

As cars go over rock, rock can lay to claim to fame.

For now ROCK NO LONGER JUST ROCK…
IT AM NOW "ROCK N ROLL"…….
Live on rock, rock, rock n rolling rock!! - Submitted by Noella

Re: Marshall System

Hi Bruce, I’ve made friends with a woman who lives up in Mendocino County. She was telling me that her daughter works for a company near Fort Bragg, I believe, who is trying to put together an energy system using wave energy. I told her about your idea and gave her your website.

Here’s what she told me today:

I sent my daughter the link to the Marshall System website & she forwarded it to KS’s renewables guy. He was very interested to learn of it.

I don’t know what, if anything, will come of it and I’m not sure who "KS" really is, but I hope you hear from him. However, I just looked at your site again and I don’t see right off any contact information. Is it there? Good luck to you! - Carol
[Thanks so much, Carol. I really appreciate you helping out. I need all the help I can get!

I’ll definitely let you know if anything comes of it, and I’m gonna save your email. If something does happen, you’ll see a little more than just gratitude.

Yes, I do have a contact us link on each page of the website, at the top left. It provides an email address, info@marshallsystem.com. Beyond that, I don’t think I need other info, but it is there.

If you’d like to join, I’d love to have you as part of the other group. There’s not been much activity in it of late, but basically it’s there to brainstorm and network with others who also want to help make this a reality. You can send a blank email to marshallsystem+subscribe@googlegroups.com and then reply to the autoresponse.

Thanks again for thinking of me. - Bruce]

Disclaimer- All quotes printed in this publication are believed to be accurately attributed, but no guarantees are made that some incorrectly attributed, or even outright false quotes won’t get in here from time to time. I assure readers that I will do my best to weed out incorrect quotes, and will print a retraction as soon as I become aware of any errors.

Click here to see the archives of past issues, or go to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/reallygoodquotes/messages. If you run across something really outstanding when perusing the archives, I’d appreciate it if you’d mail me at TheBestOfRGQ@yahoo.com and point it out to me. I’m in the process of compiling an e-book called, not surprisingly, The Best of RGQ, and I’d like to hear from you which pieces impacted you the most.

Questions? Comments? Want to contribute a joke or a quote or an image? Feel free to e-mail at reallygoodquotes@gmail.com. We’d love to hear from you! We’ll even publish your comments, if they make any sense!

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