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Greetings, Quotaholics:
I
certainly don’t think drugs are a laughing matter but I do draw
a big distinction between drugs like crack, meth, or heroin and the
use of pot.
When I was younger a lot of the people I knew smoked marijuana. I always
preferred to be around people where smoking than people who were drinking.
I never saw a fight break out at a pot party but I’ve had several
run-ins with drunks!
Being an old hippy, pot is something people tend to think you have experience
with. So if you show up with what appears to be a joint, people might
think it’s the real thing.
One Halloween, many years ago, a friend invited my wife and I to a “hippy”
costume party. I dressed in bell bottom jeans, tie-dyed shirt, long
wig and a headband. For decoration I added a couple of peace symbol
buttons, some beads, and for an extra touch I rolled up some parsley
and made a couple of joints that I carried in my headband.
Our friend had a really nice looking younger sister who seemed extra
interested in me that night. I was quite flattered and enjoyed the attention
more than I probably should have!
Finally someone asked if I was going to light one of my joints at which
time my ever helpful wife, or maybe she was just observant, spilled
the beans that it was only parsley.
Suddenly I found that the cute young thing wasn’t nearly as interested
in following me around as she had been. I was quite disappointed.
Of course that was 20 years ago. Back when people could take a joke.
These days a joke like that could get you arrested.
An example of how uptight things are these days can be seen in an article
I read at tcpalm.com.
Two boys, aged 13 and 15, were stopped by police in Port St. Lucie,
Florida. The 15 year old had a bag full of parsley, which he had gotten
from his kitchen cabinet. He said he was going to play a trick on his
friend by trying to make him think it was marijuana.
Ha, Ha, funny joke right? OK maybe not. Adults must impress on kids
that drugs are nothing to joke about. So the cop gives him a lecture
about the dangers of drugs and makes him promise not to do something
like this again. Just kidding. The kid was arrested!
According to the article, “The 15-year-old boy was arrested on
a charge of possession of a counterfeit controlled substance with the
intent to deliver.”
So the War on Drugs has been so successful that there are no real drugs
left out there and the police now are arresting people who have pretend
drugs? What’s next, arresting kids who are pretending that their
ginger ale is beer on a minor in possession charge?
My first thought was that surely this charge would never stick, but
obviously it’s not a charge that was made up for this occasion.
I’m sure the kid is in a lot of trouble.
Do you think “counterfeit controlled substance” is something
that should be a crime? Do you think what the boy did was worthy of
an arrest? If the charge is prosecuted this will ruin the kids life.
Is that the best option here?
I guess I got off easy after the Halloween party. I only had to deal
with my wife!
Smokingly,
P.S.
I received an email from the moderator of another Yahoo Group that I
thought you should be aware of. The email said in part;
There is a message going out to different Yahoo Groups advertising and
suggesting that you join a new group called GROUPLY. This group claims
to help manage all your Yahoo groups and you will get a summary, at
the end of the day, telling you what is going on in all your groups.
IF
YOU JOIN THIS GROUP, they use your Yahoo ID and password to post ‘mass
mailings’ (can be junk, can be porn) and send them to anyone, and since
it’s YOUR ID they are using, others will think it is coming from you.
Again, IF YOU HAVE JOINED THIS GROUP called ‘GROUPLY’ IMMEDIATELY
leave Grouply. Then go into your account at http://www.yahoo.com
and change your password.
Some groups have posted that this will help. Unsubbing from that group
won’t make a difference (but I think you will want to) so change your
Yahoo Password.
By joining this group you have also exposed all your groups, group members
and group leaders to hacking of their emails and group information.
Because of this problem, all members with a email grouply.com are being
removed from the affected groups. This is the only way to protect all
the members.
If you have any more information about this please
let me know. Thanks.
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it worth $1 a month to you to keep RGQ going? Please click the
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"The cost of living has not affected its popularity." –
Anonymous
"Don’t take life too seriously. You won’t get out of
it alive." – Anonymous
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Understanding
the Financial Crisis
[Thanks to Sue in Turkey]
Once upon a time
in a village somewhere, a man announced to the villagers that he would
buy monkeys for $10.
The villagers seeing
there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started
catching them.
The man bought thousands at $10, but, as the supply started to diminish,the
villagers stopped their efforts.
The man further
announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of
the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply
diminished even further and people started going back to their farms.
The offer rate increased to $25 and the supply of monkeys became so
little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch
it!
The man now announced
that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the
city on some business, his assistant would now act as buyer, on his
behalf.
In the absence of
the man, the assistant told the villagers: ‘Look at all these monkeys
in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you
at $35 and when he returns from the city, you can sell them back to
him for $50.’
The villagers squeezed
together their savings and bought all the monkeys. Then they
never saw the man or his assistant again, only monkeys everywhere!
Welcome to WALL STREET!
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"If you must play, decide on three things at the start: The rules
of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time.” - Chinese proverb
"An emperor knows how to govern when poets are free to make verses,
people to act plays, historians to tell the truth, ministers to give advice,
the poor to grumble at taxes, students to learn lessons aloud, workmen
to praise their skill and seek work, people to speak of anything, and
old men to complain of everything.” - The Duke of Shao to King Li-Wang,
c. 845 B.C.
"A knowledge of history is the pre-condition of political intelligence.
– Anonymous
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E-Mail
the Imp
Wine is a health food. Let me qualify that. There are chemical compounds
in wine that can be beneficial to humans. If you’ve heard about
antioxidants you know that they promote the production of good cholesterol,
prevent the formation of bad cholesterol, and help prevent the formation
of blood clots. Red
wine is a very rich source of the antioxidants flavonoid phenolics
and resveratrol.
That got some Rice University students thinking. (I always assumed that
college students were supposed to be thinking all the time, but what
do I know.) They realized that in the U.S. of A., we drink ten times
as much beer as wine; 20.5 gallons of beer per person per year, but
just 2.5 gallons of wine. What started as a joke, “Why don’t
we create a healthy beer” became their ultimate goal; creating
a beer that might fight cancer, heart disease and Type 2 diabetes.
Their BioBeer
– a more consumer-friendly name than the original Frankenbeer
moniker – will be brewed using yeast genetically modified to produce
resveratrol. Students are working to modify the yeast with two sets
of genes, including one that will allow the yeast to metabolize sugars
and produce an intermediate chemical. The second set will convert that
chemical to resveratrol.
They don’t have a drinkable brew, yet. But that end isn’t
too far away and they estimate that their final recipe will be able
to be produced at the same cost as regular beer.
I think it’s disgusting. Now that my once favorite quaff is going
to be beneficial to my health it’s too late for me. Having sworn
off John Barleycorn and his little cousins I have to rely on conventional
medications.
It’ll be just my luck that the next development will be weight-loss
wine. Just think, it could soon be possible to lose a pound a pint…go
on two wine drunks and become absolutely anorexic! Pump up the Port
with vitamins and minerals and you have a health drink. Make wine spolioli
and you can forget about V-8 juice.
Now if they can just come up with an age reversal formula for bourbon
I’ll go off the wagon in a heartbeat.
The Bad Sied 
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Speak
right up!
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On this day in history, November
21, 1942: The Alaskan Highway’s completion is celebrated at Soldier’s
Summit. On February 6, 1942, with the threat of WWII invasion of US soil
a real and present danger, construction of a highway connecting Alaska
to the US was approved. Proposals for a highway connecting the territory
to the Lower 48 were first proposed in the 1920s. Since most of the roadway
was through Canada, their approval was paramount. However, the only Canadians
likely to benefit were a few thousand residents of the sparsely populated
Yukon Territory. Canada did not immediately give approval.
The 95th Engineering Regiment was understaffed, like many during this
harried time. General Simon Bolivar Buckner, son of a Confederate general,
was faced with this shortage and the unique way it was filled. He needed
troops and so was sent 3,695 men to swell the ranks to build the road.
Black men. The general’s dislike of these troops was legendary. They were
ill-clothed and lived in tents while the temperatures were -40º F
or C and a record low of -79º F (-61º C) was established. These
men, mostly from the South, did a remarkable job and many were decorated
for their efforts. As a result of the work by these men, integrated troops
became the standard.
"That policy that can strike only while the iron is hot will be overcome
by that perseverance, which like Cromwell’s, can make the iron hot
by striking: and he that can only rule the storm must yield to him
who can both raise and rule it." – C.C. Colton
"We cannot afford to miss an advantage. Never was any man too strong
for his proper work." – Ralph Waldo Emerson
"When war begins, then hell openeth." – George Herbert
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Email Kirsten
“This
suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.”
~ Oscar Wilde ~
Suspense is a big part of our lives. It’s what makes us keep watching
a movie or reading a book until the very end. It makes us resentful
of anyone who gives away the ending. It makes us listen for the punchline
of a joke, or the outcome of a big news story. It makes us buy lottery
tickets and then watch for the outcome of the draw. If someone tells
us of a great restaurant, we make the booking and then wait in suspense
to see if it’s as good as promised. Suspense, to a large extent, controls
the stock market. It is responsible for people lining up through the
night in order to get their hands on a copy of a long-awaited X-Box
game.
Suspense means different things to different people. There are those
who love suspense, and will deliberately take their time over a book,
letting the anticipation build. There are those who just couldn’t be
bothered, who will skip to the ending or ask someone else to tell them
how it ends. Some people like surprise destinations - when their husbands
tell them that they’re going on vacation but refuse to tell them where.
Other people get anxiety attacks when they cannot plan what to pack,
what to wear, whether they are going swimming or skiing. There are those
who love surprise parties, and those who hate them.
Even for people who like suspense, there are times when it’s good and
times when it just causes stress. I love the suspense that comes with
my kids’ birthdays. The anticipation on their faces right before they
open their presents, knowing that a look of wonder will follow in a
few seconds. Telling someone a joke that I know they will find hilarious,
and waiting for their reaction. Dialling my Mom’s number, knowing that
her voice will be permeated with joy when she hears that it’s me. Wearing
a new outfit for the very first time, or getting my hair done knowing
that my husband will tell me I look nice. I am an avid reader, the kind
who savours the story in anticipation of the ending. I am driven crazy
by my husband’s habit of changing the channel just as I’ve gotten into
the TV show that was on. Doesn’t he ever want to know what happens?
At other times, though, suspense is not as simple to deal with. Few
things are harder than interviewing for a job you really, really want,
and then waiting on tenterhooks for a call that may never come. I still
remember how I felt when I first started dating - how it felt to meet
a boy I liked, give him my phone number, and then wait for him to call.
The joy and pain of childbirth, when I wanted the excruciating agony
to stop so I could see the new life I had helped create.
I am currently experiencing suspense in my life. I am waiting to see
if the cortisone shot to my hand will work, or if I will need surgery.
In a more life-altering vein, my son has finally reached the top of
a waiting list that he has been on for almost two years. In January,
he will be starting IBI therapy, the government-funded autism intervention
program. We wait in suspense to see how he will respond and if it will
deliver the hoped-for results.
All things being equal, suspense makes the world go around. Life would
lose a lot of its lustre if we always knew exactly what was coming next.
Kaleidoscopically yours,
Kirsten
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I’m late with my piece so this may be short or you may not read it
(which apparently a large number of you don’t — yes, I know who you
are), but I didn’t have anything to write about. Then I got an e-mail
from a Doctor. I know this Doctor and she knows me, but what she doesn’t
know is that I run the web page I just set up.
She’s the head
of the psychology department. That’s a pretty important position.
What she didn’t know was that I took wayyy too much time teaching
some of her students how to register. In fact, what happened is that
one of her faculty members helped me out, so I paid the faculty member
back by teaching about 50 of her students how to register.
I just got an
e-mail from this head of the psychology department, and she complained
that she wasn’t sure of the correct procedure a student should take
to register.
Now, the reason
I picked the faculty member to help was two-fold. First, she helped
me. The second is that I know a psycho will tell everyone else. While
teaching those classes, I watched students help each other. Psychos
do that. I figured they would spread their newly found wisdom all
over campus and I’d get less grief, which has worked for the most
part.
Until just a
little while ago, when she asked me a question her faculty member
could have answered.
Tim a’Musing
Having a Ball with Swan Dives
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Marinate
chicken in buttermilk to tenderize. - Peggy in Tonawanda, New York
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Woo hoo! Great turnout.
Next opening line…
The giant said, "Fe fi fo fum"…
Hints:
Here’s a great new rhyming/composition tool. http://www.writerhymes.com/
There’s also a great rhyming dictionary at http://www.rhymezone.com/
Limerick rules. http://freespace.virgin.net/merrick.sheldon/limerickrules.htm
Submit
Opening Line
Submit
Limerick
I
haven’t had too much success
In my life, so I obsess
On how good it would be,
Not to be me,
Truly, I am quite the mess. - Bonnie in Louisiana |
I
haven’t had too much success…
In easing my personal distress
I’m homeless and broke
And strung out on coke
But all else is OK (more or less) - Rick in Roanoke |
I haven’t
had too much success…
In cleaning up my financial mess
AIG got my money
And GM ain’t too sunny
So I’ll start selling apples, I guess. - Rick in Roanoke |
I haven’t
had too much success…
and never much joy to supress
But one day in vegas
I was shopping bodegas
And bought a used bride’s maid’s dress. - Lola |
I haven’t
had too much success
In getting out the signal of distress.
We hit an iceberg
Now I say, “Blub, blerb, blurb,”
As the water rises past my tress. - Anne Onimous |
I haven’t
had too much success
In making any kind of progress.
I guess I ought to dare,
Get off my derrière,
And not act like Daddy’s spoiled princess. - Anne Onimous |
I haven’t
had too much success
In stopping you who does oppress.
But on I shall toil
Your teachings I’ll foil!
Wait! It’s time for my fifth grade recess! - Anne Onimous |
I haven’t
had too much success
In getting into my new dress.
My dryer shrunk it
It no longer does fit.
No, it’s the donuts I ate, I confess! - Anne Onimous |
I haven’t
had too much success
But then I guess that I digress
My troubles you won’t hear
So let’s have a beer
And into drunkenness we’ll regress. - E. Cole Aye |
I haven’t
had too much success
Wooing the beautiful princess
I’m just a commoner –
A chimney cleaner –
I left black handprints on her white dress. - E. Cole Aye |
I haven’t
had too much success
When it is dark to nicely dress.
It is safe to say
With a shirt that looks gay
And mismatched socks, girls I don’t impress. - E. Cole Aye |
I haven’t
had too much success
Going on a date with my wife, Tess
With others she chooses
But me she refuses
And she won’t give me her address. - E. Cole Aye |
I haven’t
had too much success
In espying my neighbor undress.
I think that she knows
For she always wears clothes
And never shows her bareness. - E. Cole Aye
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I haven’t
had too much success
In finding honesty in the press
They’re a tad misguided,
And are so one-sided,
They’ll be guilty for the future mess. - E. Cole Aye |
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Re:
Assisted Suicide
My mother’s great worry was that she would wind up in a hospital with
no access to any hardware for a suicide. I worried that she would pull
the plug early, but I think she found a doctor who didn’t worry too much
about over use of pain medication, and also had a short prognosis for
"comfort." I think they both would have preferred it if she
could have had a painless, but lethal pill available. - Bob of the North
Death is like abortion. I’ve
never had to face it, so I can’t judge someone who has. I’d like to think
I’d face my death, but who knows? If I were in enough pain, and there
was no hope of recovery, going gently into that good night would have
its appeal. I’ve never been pregnant, either. I’d like to think I’d carry
the baby to term, but who knows? - Lucille
What is my quality of life? Am I suffering? How much? Is my mind sharp
and clear? Can I still find joy? If not, hell yes I’d prefer to have a
Doctor prescribe a lethal dose of something that would allow me to slip
away without pain, and with some measure of dignity. I would even go slightly
further, and allow them to administer it if I were unable. As a massage
therapist, I work on a young woman with MS. She can move her head, and
has very limited use of her left arm. If I were her, and someone were
kind enough to leave a loaded pistol within my reach, I would shoot myself
in the head. Life without quality, is just another four letter word. -L&K,
herm
Just last week a friend called
to tell us her father had committed suicide. He had been suffering from
Parkinson’s disease and knew what the future held. Unknown to anyone,
he had made funeral arrangements, gotten the finances in order, made lists
of account numbers and balances, etc. When his wife returned from running
some errands there was a note on the door. It informed her that he had
killed himself and was in the garage. She was instructed to stay out and
call 911. He had even taken the time to drape everything in plastic so
that the gunshot didn’t make a big mess.
It seems
to me that if assisted-suicide were available the family could have been
involved in his decision and spared the shock of his seemingly sudden
death. Of course, it should be reserved for people with terminal diseases
and the decision should be made with the consultation of mental health
professionals to insure that it’s not just temporary depression
driving the desire to die. - Mike
Re: The Marshall System
DUDE!! You gonna be famous!!! You
must pick up a copy of the latest Esquire magazine….in fact, I was
thinking of writing to them about YOU. It has a photo of Vince Vaughn
on the cover. - Marsha in Michigan
[Frankly, I couldn’t care
less about personal fame and recognition. I’m not particularly shy,
but like RGQ, the system I developed is not about me. I sincerely hope
that I’ve done something that can make a difference. In my mind, that’s
the only thing that matters.
I’m not saying I wouldn’t like to make some money off of this, but if
there’s space on a cover somewhere I hope they put a diagram of the
system instead of my mug shot.]
Bruce,
I tried to subscribe and never got a confirmation message from Google.
I also tried to search Google Groups to find your group without success.
Is there some problem? Did anyone else have trouble subscribing?
- Mike
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Disclaimer- All quotes printed in this publication are believed to be accurately
attributed, but no guarantees are made that some incorrectly attributed,
or even outright false quotes won’t get in here from time to time.
I assure readers that I will do my best to weed out incorrect quotes, and
will print a retraction as soon as I become aware of any errors. |
Click here to see the archives of past issues, or go to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/reallygoodquotes/messages.
If you run across something really outstanding when perusing the archives,
I’d appreciate it if you’d mail me at TheBestOfRGQ@yahoo.com
and point it out to me. I’m in the process of compiling an e-book
called, not surprisingly, The Best of RGQ, and I’d like to hear from you
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