Really Good Quotes

Archive for November, 2008

November 24, 2008

Monday, November 24th, 2008

Really Good Quotes "A mind, once expanded by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Greetings, Quotaholics:

Sex is a funny thing. I don’t mean funny “Ha, Ha”, although I suppose that depends on who’s doing it. I mean funny ironic.

Most people want their children to grow up, marry, and have a family, which involves sex. Most parents, however, don’t want their children exposed to sex or information about sex.

We send our children off to school thinking that the subject of sex won’t come up. Yet that’s where most of us learned about sex. But as parents we try to make sure that the people who work at the schools don’t in any way expose our children to sex or the discussion of sex.

Once upon a time it was not uncommon for school teachers to be single women. Teaching was a job that society deemed was appropriate for women, but once they were married they were expected to stay home a raise their children. If the community suspected the teacher was having sex, she was probably fired for having low moral values.

These days, most teachers, both men and women, are married. That means they are most likely having sex. So I guess sexually active teachers don’t somehow “infect” our children with immoral thoughts.

But nowadays sex is also a business. Oh sure, it’s always been a business. Prostitution has been around forever, but these days with the growing business of porn, strip bars, massage parlors, etcetera, many people may have been involved, on some level, in their past.

People change jobs, they quit a job they have grown tired of and move on to something else. So what happens when a person who has been involved in the sex trade decides to change jobs? What if they go to work at a school?

According to a news report on WPVI-TV in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania that’s the problem facing administrators at D’Ippolito Elementary in Vineland, New Jersey.

Louisa Tuck, a cafeteria and playground aide at D’Ippolito Elementary, was previously employed as an adult film star under the name Crystal Gunns. A Google image search (not safe for work!) quickly reveals what “Gunns” Crystal was famous for!

When school officials were informed of Ms. Tuck’s background, “They were stunned. A background check turned up nothing. They wanted to take action, but lawyers advised them not to. Tuck hadn’t done anything illegal.”

But some parents and teachers don’t see it that way. “‘I understand it’s her personal life, but I don’t feel someone with that background should be working with young children at all,’ said preschool teacher Maria Martin.”

Others don’t see a problem. “‘It’s in her past. We all do things in our past. And as long as she’s not interfering with any kids, I don’t see any problem with it,’ said Raul Cordova of Vineland, N.J.”

So if someone worked in the adult entertainment business, are they marked for life? Should they have the same sort of restrictions that are imposed on sex offenders? Should they be banned from working around children?

Or is adult entertainment on the same level as any other entertainment business? We wouldn’t bar someone from working in schools if they acted in any other type of film. Is it right to ban adult film stars? Does it make a difference that adult actresses usually have pictures on the internet that students and parents can access?

Deleting my Facebook pics,

Isn’t it worth $1 a month to you to keep RGQ going? Please click the link and direct your contribution to reallygoodquotes@yahoo.com.

"Every generation laughs at the old fashions, and follows religiously the new.” - Henry David Thoreau

"We confess small faults in order to insinuate that we have no great ones.” - François de la Rochfoucauld

The Insurance Salesman
[Thanks to Bonnie in Louisiana]

An insurance salesman was trying to persuade a housewife that she should take out life insurance. "Suppose your husband were to die," he said, "What would you get?"

The housewife thought for a while, and then said, "Oh, a parrot, I think. Then the house wouldn’t seem so quiet."

"Force may make hypocrites, but it can never make converts.” - William Penn

"Forgiveness does not have anything to do with other people. It has everything to do with you.” - Gary Zukav

"It must be remembered that while one is a descendent of the past, one is also the parent of the future. – Anonymous

New Key on Keyboard

E-Mail the Imp

Cloning is now a business. What started as a laboratory experiment with a cloned sheep named Dolly has become a large business primed to fill our larders with cloned beef, mutton, pork, and goat…along with diary and cheese products from cloned goat and cow milk.

Since 1996 there has been extensive work done on the cloning of livestock. The US Food and Drug Administration has given its approval to begin marketing cloned livestock products. Whether consumers will buy these products is an unknown.

If you love your little Fluffy or Rex and the poor dear passes on to pet heaven, a Korean company, RNL Bio will clone you a replacement for a price. A hefty price. An exorbitant price. $50K will get you a new leg humper or couch scratcher if you want, that is identical to the little dear you and the kids just buried in the backyard. Just think, you could house break the same ‘corner shitter’ of a puppy every year in perpetuity if you so desire, that is if you cloned it every year.

So far, cloning techniques are not 100% efficient. Only small number of attempts can produce an embryo that can be brought to term. There is also a relatively high rate of premature fatalities among clones. If there’s a problem with the production of an embryo there may be birth defects that aren’t discovered until the embryo comes to term. A faulty process at the beginning could result in 100% of produced embryos developing birth defects.

That poses questions. Will there be a market for genetic “factory seconds” and “Irregulars”? Will the irregulars become dog food or meat patties at The Bogus Burger Barn? Would PETA protest euthanasia of botched beef or garbled goats? Will they become side show freaks? Will there be retirement farms for three legged quadrupeds and with soft bushes for blind bovines to bump into?

Perhaps we could ship mangled milk producers to third world countries to ease the food shortages they experience. The UN could provide the ranchers and farmers who have the defective livestock with a small stipend to offset their production costs. Farmers in the third world countries could be provided with the livestock and feed. When milk production ceases, the livestock can be slaughtered for community B-B-Q’s celebrating the largesse of the G20 industrial nations.

The Bad Sied

Click here for guidelines on 15 Minutes submissions

Speak Up!
Speak right up!

On this day in history, November 24, 1971: Dan or D.B. Cooper makes a parachute jump and is never seen again. Cooper boarded Northwest Orient Flight 305 in Portland, Oregon. He was described as mid-40s, 5′ 10" to 6′ (1.73 to 1.83 m) tall and was dressed in a black suit with a white shirt. He sat in seat 18C and soon after takeoff handed a note to Florence Schaffner, a stewardess. She slipped the note in her pocket and the man told her to read it. It said, "I have a bomb in my briefcase. I will use it if necessary. I want you to sit next to me. You are being hijacked." The note also demanded $200,000 and four parachutes and listed instructions for landing at Seattle, Washington.

The cabin was to remain unpressurized. They took off around 7:40 PM and the stewardess was directed to go to the cockpit. Lights flashed indicating a door was being opened. Cooper stepped into the night amidst a thunderstorm and was never seen again. Because of the storm, the F-106 jet fighters trailing the plane did not see Cooper exit. Intense searches of the area proved fruitless. Cooper, the parachutes, and the money were gone. The FBI does not believe he survived the jump. On February 10, 1980, 8-year-old Brian Ingram found $5,880 in banded bills on the banks of the Columbia River, northwest of Vancouver, Washington. The serial numbers matched the ransom money.

"Either he’s hung up in the branches of a tree somewhere and we won’t find him until next deer season, or he’s home watching us on television, laughing his fool bead off." - Woodland Police Chief Joe May

"We’re either looking for a parachute or a hole in the ground," - Clark County Undersheriff Tom McDowell.

"I was scared to death and pretty nervous, but I do remember seeing a red cylinder in the suitcase." - Florence Schaffner

Email Kirsten

“Nothing travels faster than light, with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own rules”
~ Douglas Adams ~

Whoever said that “No news is good news” was lying. While people like suspense in varying degrees, as described in my last article, they always like to know that there is an outcome of something. It wouldn’t make sense to read only the first 29 chapters of a 30-chapter book. That’s taking suspense a little too far. Even if the ending of the book was completely lame, you’d want to know it, wouldn’t you? In the same vein, real-life situations in which we don’t get told of the outcome can be very stressful. Most people, for instance, hate the way the job market works. You submit your resume online, and if someone’s interested they call you. Very few potential employers send emails saying, “Thanks, but no thanks”. If someone is interested, you get called for an interview. Again, if you got the job you get a phonecall. If you didn’t you simply don’t get told anything. I have a friend at work whos contract is due to expire, and he doesn’t yet know if it’ll be renewed or not. He says that he’d just like to know, even if it’s not news he’d like.

According to researchers at the University of Toronto, there is a neuropsychological basis to the idea that even bad news is, in fact, better than no news at all. A group of subjects were tested to determine how neurotic they were, and then they were given simple computer-based tests. Throughout the tests, the subjects received visual indicators as to whether they were doing well or poorly. At random intervals, they were simply shown a question mark. At these times, brain activity was higher, especially among subjects who had scored highly on the neuroticism scale. People who were not neurotic tended to be more bothered by negative feedback than by no feedback at all.

Now, I don’t know how much validity this study actually has. The sample of students used was small - 41. We are not given breakdowns for age, gender, economic status, and so on. And we are not told how many of them were deemed to be neurotic and how many weren’t. Having studied statistical analysis, I find these gaps in information to be somewhat troubling. Even so, the conclusions of the research make sense. Someone who has issues with anxiety could well find it difficult to process a lack of definitive feedback compared with someone who sails through life without a care in the world. Someone who sails through life without a care in the world would, on the other hand, have their optimistic foundations somewhat shaken by bad news.

What it really comes down to is that people like a balance of certainty and unpredictability. At the end of the day, though, we all want to know that everything will turn out OK.

Kaleidoscopically yours,
Kirsten

Do you know what satisfaction is like? I’m not talking about instant gratification, like Sied wanking off. I’m talking about something you’ve worked for, a goal you have met. Accomplishing something, however little, that makes you proud of yourself. That’s a very powerful feeling.

I feel like that now, but it’s kind of weird. You all know about my project building a web page so students can do things like register. You also know it works. What you don’t know is how well it works. I didn’t know that myself. I didn’t know what would happen when our freshmen all tried to register at 12:01 a.m. Friday, the moment they were permitted to register.

So I was kind of curious. I had talked to one sophomore that said she had set her alarm to 12:01 the day she was allowed to register. The freshman could do the same, and we have a lot of freshmen. I didn’t know if my web page could handle all of them at one time. Prior attempts by the entire campus to hit my page have ended up with me not looking so good. I made some adjustments, but the biggest load I had after that was about 30 people on at once. We have about 700 freshmen. I feared it would be a long night.

I watched my page Thursday night. There were a lot of people on, averaging about 15 to 20 at any one time. While I couldn’t confirm my fears, I knew they were freshman preparing to register at 12:01. Around 11:00 Thursday night, there was a sudden surge in activity. That 15 to 20 turned into over 60, and it wasn’t 12:01 yet. I knew the page was going to get nailed at 12:01 as there were already more than twice as many users on as had ever successfully been on before.

So I watched. And I watched. As midnight approached, I saw the numbers rising… 67 at 11:59. It was kind of a morbid curiosity; there really wasn’t too much I could do if my web site choked because I was home. I’d have to be on campus to fix anything major. It was like I was an actor on a stage and I was watching myself.

At 12:01, my page spiked at 150 users. I tried to log in, and it worked. Registering only takes a few minutes, so I thought the spike would subside in a few minutes. It didn’t. I watched for an hour as my site was maxed out, but still worked. When the count went to under 150 at about 1:00, I was relieved. I wanted to stand up and cheer the performance. I wanted everyone to know how good it was.

But when I tell people about it, I don’t know if I should say Damn, I’m good, or Damn, he’s good.

Tim a’Musing
Having a Ball with Yarns

Use margarine instead of butter to panfry or sauté. Butter burns quickly. - Peggy in Tonawanda, New York

I didn’t think that line had much hope, but it worked out!

Next opening line…
A thousand times I must have told you…

Hints: Here’s a great new rhyming/composition tool. http://www.writerhymes.com/
There’s also a great rhyming dictionary at http://www.rhymezone.com/
Limerick rules. http://freespace.virgin.net/merrick.sheldon/limerickrules.htm

Submit Opening Line
Submit Limerick

The giant said, “Fi, fi, fo, fum” I’m building a place in the sun With nails and a hammer But I can’t help but st-st-stammer When I hit not the nail, but my thumb! - Sharon in Round Rock, Texas	The giant said, “Fi, fi, fo fum” Magic beans make me feel bummed I’ve been robbed, to be sure Golden eggs are no more When Jack takes my goose and he runs . - Sharon in Round Rock, Texas
The giant said "fe fi fo fum" I wonder what I have become? At first it was okay To play the baddie all day; But now, this reputation does make me glum. - Bonnie in Louisiana	The giant said, "Fe fi fo fum"… I think I’ll get a fifth of rum I’ll get Mrs. Giant And give her a pint And we’ll fool around till we damn near succumb. - Rick in Roanoke
The giant said, "Fe fi fo fum"… I’ve nothing to eat not even a crumb I’ve no money in my jeans And I’m so tired of beans So I’ll eat that damn goose, yum yum. - Rick in Roanoke	The giant said, "Fe fi fo fum"… Jack Horner has a plum on his thumb Peep’s sheep is lost Muffet’s curds got tossed And Simple Simon is really dumb. - Rick in Roanoke
The giant said, "Fe fi fo fum"… Where in the hell did this line come from I know themes are tough But this line is rough Only a few thoughts ’bout giants will come. - Rick in Roanoke	The giant said, "Fe fi fo fum"— I need a new bottle of rum— I hate that damned Shrek ’cause his movies are drek and he should go back where he came from. - Cassandra in New York
I haven’t had too much success— with finding a new, hot black dress— to go to a party where I’ll eat my friend Marty who’ll then make a big, nasty mess. - Cassandra in New York

Re: Parsley Not Pot

Personally, I consider toy guns to be more dangerous to child development than "toy" marijuana. It sounds as if the Police are afraid to tackle more serious crime, or have some other issue. It is definitely time to dismantle the Police State and the jails built to earn profits. - Bob of the North

I can see why they made a law about "counterfeit controlled subtances" - so they could have an actual charge to hand out if someone were to sell baking powder as cocaine to addicts, thus getting money for it and ending up harming the people.

However! The law also states that something will fall under this "crime" if "any substance is falsely identified as a controlled substance."

This means that if a police officer sees you carrying a bag of sugar, and thinks it’s cocaine, he can arrest you. Doesn’t matter if you’re 10 years-old or 80 years-old. It’d be entirely up to the officer’s discretion.

And in that respect, I don’t think that makes it a good law. - David, 22, Pennsylvania

When I was young my brother was arrested. I forgot what he had, but the charge turned out to be what they called theft by deception. He didn’t have real drugs, but they still managed to charge him with a crime and that was in the 70’s. - Vicki in Pennsylvania

Mike wrote: "If the charge is prosecuted this will ruin the kids life."

Come on now! It would be great theater. Who will ever convict the kid of "felony possession of parsley." The prosecutor will be a laughing stock and the kid will have a great claim for malicious prosecution. He will end up on Oprah. - Mike in Florida

The "Counterfeit Drug" law was written to prosecute people who sell counterfeit drugs to people to scam them, NOT to prosecute 15 year old kids who aren’t trying to get money or anything other than a laugh. This kind of stuff makes me freaking crazy. Free country my ass. -Chris in Utah

Re: Assisted Suicide

A few years ago, when I was doing a lot of motorbike riding, I was telling my family that I didn’t want to be kept alive with tubes e.t.c.

I said it would be unfair to them that they would spend every day of the week, then every second or third day of the week, then once a week and so on, to see a vegetable instead of getting on with their own lives.

I said I would get a tattoo on my upper arm saying "No Life Support".
Youngest daughter {12 at the time} said "you’ll have to get it on your forehead dad ’cause if that arm gets ripped off no one will know, but if your head gets ripped off it won’t matter about the tattoo anyway" - Jesse in Mount Isa, Australia.
[Your daughter’s got a hell of a sense of humor. I should have used this to revive the Kids’ Weird Words section!]

Hi Bruce, I’ve been in favour of assisted suicide for a long time. Quite a few years ago, there was a lady who had ALS or Lou Gehrig ‘ s disease and she went to the Supreme Court of Canada to obtain the right to choose when and how she would die. I don’t remember her name or how long ago it was but I remember thinking that she should be able to make that decision on her own since it is her body and there is no cure for what she has. She was of sound mind and was asking for herself. If I remember correctly, she was denied the right to choose but ended up doing it anyways somehow.

ALS - Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis or Lou Gehrig’s disease - is a disease of the motor neurons in the spinal cord and lower brain which control the voluntary muscles of the body. As these motor neurons die, muscle power is progressively lost. The muscles affected and the order in which they are affected varies from one person to another. For some people with ALS, the muscles in the hands, shoulders and feet are the first to show weakness; for others, it is the muscles, which control speech and swallowing. As the disease progresses, leg, arm, trunk and breathing muscles become involved.

A year ago, my mom was diagnosed with ALS. She used to be a very independent woman with a very full life. She often decided to come and visit me on a whim in the morning and drive 3 hours each way in the same day, play bowling and lawn bowling and work a full week being in direct sales doing I don’t know how many kilometers in a week. Now she can’t even put butter in her toasts in the morning. And she feels like a prisoner in her apartment because she can leave but cannot go back up the stairs when she gets home. She fell down the stairs twice now in the past month. She is not ready to die yet as she still has things to look forward to and she is moving soon to a new place where she will receive all the help she needs and still be able to go out and do things that she is still capable of doing. But when the time comes and she cannot take it anymore and does not see any quality of life, why should some politician decide for her that it is not her choice to make? I’m not saying that I want her to die, I would though accept her choice to do so when she decides that is just too hard to live even if that means she will no longer have the chance to see her grand daughter smile at her one more time.

She knows how she’s planning on doing it but maybe when the time will come she won’t be able to choose because she will have waited too long to do it on her own. Why should she then be penalized for having waited too long to do it on her own but enjoyed her life longer because she had more things to look forward too? - Nathalie

Re: The Marshall System

No, no, no, Bruce, I didn’t mean you should be on the cover…..though, of course, you should be if life was fair, cuz you’re WAY cuter than Vince Vaughn…*wink wink*….but I WAS serious about reading the latest issue of Esquire!! It is their Best and Brightest issue and they have profiles of some really amazing people. People who remind me a lot of you — people who have invented miraculous products and discovered amazing things that would save millions of lives, people with ideas ahead of their time….but they can’t get anyone to finance them or produce the products economically, even though everyone admits they are amazing products that would change the world. The guy who invented the Segway has invented literally hundreds of unbelievable technologies, many of which he has paid for from his own (millionaire) pockets. With Esquire’s corporate attitude about ingenuity and making the world a better place, I just wonder if they would like to hear about the Marshall System…..publicity, man!!! - Marsha in Michigan
[Well, that’s what I need the networking for. Send it to them!

Seriously, any efforts anyone can make to send info forward to any potentially interested parties will be greatly appreciated. I need more eyes, hands, and minds than I have! I honestly can not cover every possibility myself.]

You can’t really address a problem until you recognize it. I’m telling you, none of the people in power are seriously interested in our energy independence. If we only have expensive energy from sources they control, they have that much more power. I think you’re on the right track now, though. Grass roots efforts can be VERY persuasive. If they hear from enough people, they’ll start fearing that they’ll loose power, and will act. I’ll send this to our media outlets. I’ve had an opportunity to talk to a few reporters. I REALLY want to see this get off the ground. - Chris in Utah
[Thank you, Chris.

I’d appreciate it if you and others who feel the same way would join my new group, by sending a blank email to marshallsystem+subscribe@googlegroups.com, and then replying to the autoresponse.

The group is set up in order to network and brainstorm on how to get more media attention. It’s an uphill battle, and I’m firmly convinced that the answer lies in getting a core group of people together to work to a common goal. I’m realizing that I can’t do it alone, but a lot of people lifting a little bit can move a heavy object.

Any participation, no matter how small, can help.]

Reader Submission

Here is an event that happened to me this week and how I handled it. I am amazed at the complicated scam and the facts they knew. So be aware. My aunt does live in Spain and does travel a lot in Europe and Africa so this seemed possible. How they knew the information I asked is beyond me. If people would spend as much effort to earn an honest living as they do to steal.. oh well.

A scam alert

Here is what I dealt with in sequence yesterday. This is an email from Diana’s (my wife’s) aunt.

Message one Date: Tue, 18 Nov 2008 20:28:45 -0800 (PST) From: "Nita XXXX" <nitamarsh2@XXXXX.com> Subject: An Emergency

I hope this message finds you in best of health. I had traveled to Nigeria for an international conference, but Unfortunately for me all my money was stolen at the hotel where i lodged, I am so confused right now, I dont know what to do or where to go,I didn’t bring my phone here, I have access to only emails, Please can you send me $2000 today so i can return home, As soon as I get home i would refund it immediately.Write me so i can let you know how to send it. Please keep this to your self only please!!. Thanks Nita

Nita XXXX Edif. Jacaranda 206 Avda. Litoral 7
29680 Estepona, Málaga SPAIN

I thought this was fake so I sent an email only she could respond to

my response

— BJ XXXX <BJ.xxxxx@XXXXX.com> wrote:

Nita is this really you? I know that Nigeria is the most corrupt country in the world and I am not certain this is you.

So could you tell me where we met last November?

BJ XXXX

Email two from her

Thanks for the response, i understand you being skeptic about it. Last November we met at Tonkawa. I hope this satisfies your curiosity. You can have the money sent to me via western union to the following info NAME……… Nita XXXX ADDRESS………Lagos Nigeria. 23401

Please try and do this as soon as possible because i need to be out of here soonest. You are my last hope, would be waiting to get a mail from you with the details for me to have the money picked up.

Well this was correct. Still was she kidnaped, coerced? Tonkawa is a very small town and nobody would know that information right? So I phoned some family members last night and….this was a hoax! Everybody got this email and they phoned her in Madrid, Spain and she is fine. Someone stole her email account and apparently knew a lot about her, but to answer this question is amazing to say the least.

So I sent this last message.

Okay the money is waiting for you but it is at the American Embassy. All you will need to do is show your passport to get it and also you will need to give the password I told you last year. You repeated it back to me several times so this should not be a problem. I sent extra money to cover the expenses of you getting to the embassy. Also, as you remember I was in Vietnam and served our country doing some "work" for the government on special assigments when I was done with the military. One man who’s life I saved, his son is working as a security agent in Nigeria. I contacted him. He and two others are in the process of tracing your email down and will escort you to the embassy. They mentioned there is a possibility you could be held captive. So they are armed and have a Nigerian Officer with them. They should be at your place in a few hours, they will escort you to the embassy to get your money, escort you to the plane of your choice. If you are being held under duress, they will take care of that situation.

I wonder if they are pulling their computers out of their room? - BJ in Guthrie

I’ve learned a very valuble lesson this last week. I’ve learned that I really do like my morning time with my coffee, smokes and my e-mails. Especially my RGQ. I get alot out of this and enjoy the thought provoking articles. This week I had no e-mail, and I haven’t had my RGQ fix all week. I reread some I’d saved but it was not the same. I just wanted to write to all you readers and say hi and to let all the staff at RGQ know that their hard work is very much appreciated. Figured I could always make a donation, but some times a word of appreciation is a good idea.

This brings up a good point I’d like to share. Do we really take for granted the little things in our lives? Do we truly appreciate all of who and what we have? Think about that. - Patty, Celine Kitty, the Rowdy Dog, and the Tazz

Disclaimer- All quotes printed in this publication are believed to be accurately attributed, but no guarantees are made that some incorrectly attributed, or even outright false quotes won’t get in here from time to time. I assure readers that I will do my best to weed out incorrect quotes, and will print a retraction as soon as I become aware of any errors.

Click here to see the archives of past issues, or go to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/reallygoodquotes/messages. If you run across something really outstanding when perusing the archives, I’d appreciate it if you’d mail me at TheBestOfRGQ@yahoo.com and point it out to me. I’m in the process of compiling an e-book called, not surprisingly, The Best of RGQ, and I’d like to hear from you which pieces impacted you the most.

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Tags: cloning, Crystal Gunns, D'Ippolito Elementary, D.B. Cooper, history, limericks, Louisa Tuck, quotes, University of Toronto
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