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Greetings, Quotaholics:
Mike wrote about a lady with a “past” (don’t we all have one?) who was
having a real problem remaining employed by a school, even though she
had done nothing illegal. That seems pretty extreme, but there’s
a similar, and yet wholly different scenario playing out in Georgia.
Sied sent me a link to The
Agitator which recounts the story of Wendy Whitaker, now 29, a resident
of Georgia. When she was 17, she was convicted of performing oral
sex on her boyfriend, who was just shy of 16. Both were high school
sophomores at the time. She has been on the Georgia sex offender
list for the last 12 years.
A similar case involving Genarlow Wilson created an international uproar
recently. Wilson was 17, and was convicted of engaging in oral
sex with his girlfriend, 15 at the time. He was sentenced to ten
years in prison. Georgia’s legislators have since clarified the
law and what Wilson and Whitaker did is no longer considered a crime
there, but intransigent legislators refused to make the change retroactive,
so both are still convicted felons.
Whitaker is suing the State, with her claim being that given the nature
of her offense, the penalty she has suffered is cruel and unusual punishment.
The Georgia Supreme Court ruled in Wilson’s case that the ten years
in prison and permanent placement on the state’s sex offender registry
was cruel and unusual.
While Whitaker is awaiting a resolution of her convicton and status,
she has a second lawsuit pending against the state.
In this one, she and her husband are trying to keep their home.
Her status on the sex offender registry forces her to abide by Georgia’s
extremely tough restrictions as to where she can live, which was the
subject of an earlier RGQ piece.
She was restricted from living within 1000 feet of a school bus stop,
public pool, community park or church.
You can imagine that it was tough for the couple to find a suitable
property that fit within the guidelines of those restrictions, but after
much homework they bought a home and attempted to settle down.
It turns out that their due dilligence wasn’t good enough. They
had overlooked a nearby church, which was running an unadvertised daycare
service, and local authorities had ordered them to vacate the property
shortly after they moved in. That law
was struck down by the State Supreme Court as being overly restrictive,
and so she got a reprieve. However, the legislators passed a revised
law that still puts Whitaker within the proscribed limits.
She has been ordered to vacate her home by Thanksgiving. If she
can not get relief from the court she will have to allow the property
to be foreclosed on.
OK, I don’t need a recouting of everyone’s teenage sexual history, but
it’s obvious that many or most of us have committed such “crimes”, leading
normal, productive lives, and even reading (and in one case writing)
a stimulating zine called RGQ!
That in itself shows that such laws which rope in people who are engaged
in consensual activities serve no useful purpose, but for Wendy Whitaker,
this is real. She’s about to be thrown out of her home for a decade-old
BJ.
I ask you how such things should be handled. I’m sure we all agree
that we need some measure of protection from real sexual predators,
but how do you write a law that strikes some logical balance?
Would you be worried if either Whitaker or Wilson moved in next door
to you?
Offensively,
P.S. I decided to write a regular piece tonight, but I also have
an announcement to make.
My situation has been changing quite dramatically since I filed for
my patent. I find myself struggling mightily to keep up with email
and correspondence related to RGQ, writing my once-a-week piece, and
dealing with things like Poet-Tree and others.
I’ve finally come to the realization that I just can’t do it any more.
Something has to give, and I’ve reluctantly decided that it has to be
RGQ.
For that reason, tonight’s piece will be my last regular writing.
I’ve made the tough decision to step away from the day to day operations
of RGQ. The links have been changed, directing Poet-Tree submissions
and 15 Minutes to Mike, and comments to Patti.
I will remain a part of RGQ in an advisory capacity, and the staff all
know that if they need my input or assistance for anything I’ll be there
for them. I’ve just got to get away from the routine activities
that are so time consuming.
I’ll still write occasionally if I feel that I have something to say,
and I’ll send comments in like any other reader if inspiration strikes,
but beyond that my only real responsibility will be to provide the jokes,
quotes, and images to Cliff once a week. Others will be taking
control of everything else.
My email address will remain the same, reallygoodquotes@yahoo.com,
but I’d like to ask all of you to direct regular comments and daily
correspondence to the links instead of to me. If you want to write
to me directly for some reason or other, feel free to do so. It’s
just the operational stuff that I’ll be moving away from, but I’ll still
be around.
I want to say that this has been a wonderful experience. I’ve
enjoyed it immensely, but I have known this day was coming for a long
time. It’s why I brought Mike on board, to make sure that RGQ
would survive after my departure, and I have no doubt that it will continue
to thrive under his control.
The writing staff has always been first-class. All of them, past
and present. Robin, Tim, Faithy, Myst, Mike, Patti, Sied, and
Kirsten (damn I hope I didn’t leave anyone out!) have all been outstanding,
and I will always be grateful for the professionalism you’ve shown to
me and to the readers. Behind the scenes have been Kelly in Peru
and Cliff (and Kirsten before she started writing), working hard to
put each issue together.
Thank you all. Whatever modicum of success that RGQ has had is
as much your doing as mine, and I mean that sincerely. I would
have had to abandon this a long time ago without the division of responsibilities
and the workload you’ve taken from me.
As Thanksgiving approaches, I am honestly thankful for this amazingly
intelligent and astute readership, and for the great time I’ve had since
July of ‘02. I love the interaction and the varying opinions that
keep this the most interesting zine on the web. 2,321 days and
1068 issues have been a blur.
Changes are difficult, and a part of me is dragging my feet, even as
I write this farewell, not wanting to get to the inevitable sign-off.
I just know that I have to do what is best for me at this point, and
unfortunately, I know what I’m doing is the best.
I guess I’ll just bite the bullet and do it.
Thank you all again.
With great affection and sincere sadness,
Bruce
P.P.S. Given that Thursday is Thanksgiving and we put the Friday
issue together Thursday night, I don’t know whether there will be an
issue. I’m not deciding that stuff any more, but since I am writing
tonight I wanted to at least give you a heads up that there may or may
not be an issue for Friday.
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it worth $1 a month to you to keep RGQ going? Please click the
link and direct your contribution to reallygoodquotes@gmail.com.
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“Junk: Stuff we throw away. Stuff:
Junk we keep. – Anonymous
“Free every Monday through
Friday—knowledge. Bring your own containers.” - Sign on a Dallas school
bulletin board
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Confessions
[Thanks to Bonnie in Louisiana]
On their honeymoon
the new husband told his bride, “I have a confession that should have
made before, but I was concerned that it might affect our relationship.”
“What is it?” she
asked.
“I’m a golfer,”
he said.
“What’s the big
deal about that?” she asked.
He replied, “When
I say I’m a golfer, I mean that I’ll be on the course Saturday, Sunday,
Wednesday afternoon, and any holidays. If it comes to a choice between
your wishes and golf — golf wins.”
She pondered a moment
and said, “I thank you for your honesty. In the same spirit of honesty,
I should tell you that I’ve concealed something about my own past
that you should know about. I’m a hooker.”
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“Friendship improves happiness
and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our
grief.” - Marcus Tullius Cicero “I
am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma.”
- Eartha Kitt
“Those who suppress freedom
always do so in the name of law and order.” - John V. Lindsay
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E-Mail
the Imp
I’m undecided if it is a dream or a nightmare – the idea of a “flying
car”. The idea of traveling from point A to point E with stops at points
B, C, and D without using roads has been around since Orville and Wilbur
got it up in 1903. (”It” being the airplane.)
Cars and aircraft grew up together, so it’s no wonder that the idea
of flying cars should have been around since the beginning. I suppose
the original idea came about because once you left cities 100 years
ago roads that were car friendly didn’t exist, but there were lots of
pastures to land in. Many years later the impetus to develop flying
cars was due to the amount of vehicles on the road.
Picture the area around Washington, DC. I’ve driven there quite a bit.
They have some beautiful highways designed to handle traffic moving
at speeds up to and beyond 70 mph by cars capable of traveling up to
and beyond 120 mph. At any given time between 7:00 AM and 7:00 PM averaging
40 mph due to traffic congestion is akin to a miracle. It would be nice
to simply fly away, but very impractical.
There are two concepts for flying cars. One is a car that converts to
a flying machine; or a flying machine that converts to a car (Converta-car).
The other is a flying machine that is as small as a car and can take
off and land nearly anywhere. Over the years there have been many inventors
that have strived to build a successful model of either one, and some
have come close. Their machines may have worked, but either weren’t
practical, weren’t accepted by the public, or just didn’t deliver totally
and safely the desired results.
Converta-cars aren’t practical, even if it’s a helicopter conversion.
First, there’s the need to get wings or rotor blades spread. In either
case vehicles in adjoining lanes are going to be in the way and will
probably damage your vehicle. If you have a winged converta-car, you
have to get rolling to pick up air speed for take-off. If you can do
that there’s no need to take off anyway. If you could take off straight
up, just take off from the parking lot and don’t get on the road at
all. And then there’s road rage to consider. Try to stop and deploy
wings or rotors on a Los Angeles freeway and your vehicle will end up
bullet pocked like a Baghdad Bunker. The
Waterman Aerobile is one such failed concept.
Small aircraft that would take the place of a car is a concept that
has been around since at least the 1920’s. The first concept actually
became a successful commercial venture, but not for what it was initially
conceived for. The
Pier J-3, or Piper Cub came into being in the late 1930’s. It was
conceived to be a vehicle for ranchers, oil field workers, lumbermen,
and others who work in vast expanses that could take off and land in
very small areas and was easy and inexpensive to operate. It was doomed
by WW2 to become a reconnaissance aircraft, air ambulance, and air taxi.
The latest version of the non-roadable
flying car is the Moller
Sky Car(Pic). It’s still not stable enough in flight for Joe Sixpack
to get in and take off, but as a gadget, a really big gadget, I love
it. I hope Mr. Moller can get it to work. But I can’t see this as being
a big commercial success with thousands or tens of thousands of them
flitting around. (Video)
Price will be a limiting factor. It won’t be practical in big cities
like New York, Philadelphia, Chicago, et al. Being able to land through
overhead wires near your house would probably keep phone repairmen making
overtime money for years. Roofers will be making big bucks repairing
make-shift landing site or beefing up roofs to take the weight and pounding
of these flying flivvers.
The biggest thing that will keep these vehicles from becoming very popular
and numerous in my opinion is that you can’t cruise the boulevard with
them. Making a high speed pass fifty feet off the deck isn’t as much
fun as idling along with the top down on your ‘66 Bonneville; with glass
packs calling attention to you and your crew. The visceral response
to a warm night time breeze with the top dropped and the throb of a
huge cubic inch engine will trump a Sky Car anytime.
The Bad Sied 
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Speak
right up!
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On this day in history, November
26, 1917: The National Hockey League (NHL) is founded. The Montreal Canadians,
Montreal Wanderers, Ottawa Senators, Quebec Bulldogs, and Toronto Arenas
began play on December 19, 1917 with both Montreal teams winning their
first games. The Canadians beat Ottawa 7-4 and the Wanderers edged out
Toronto 10-9. Hockey, both field and ice, have been around for millennia.
The modern form of ice hockey comes from Montreal. The first recorded
organized indoor game was played there on March 3, 1875.
It became a college sport when McGill University Hockey Club was founded
in 1877. The college teams aged and next the Amateur Hockey Association
(NHA) of Canada was formed in 1886. The National Hockey Association was
founded in 1909 for Professionals. There were business disputes, owner
and player disagreements and the NHA was abandoned and the NHL created
at a meeting at the Windsor Hotel. The teams struggled financially at
first but on the ice, they were supreme. They lost the Stanley Cup once,
in 1925.
The NHL began expansion efforts for the 1924-25 season and looked across
the border to Boston, admitting the Bruins as the first US team. The teams
expanded to 10 by the 1925-26 season. The Great Depression and WWII decimated
the League and by 1942 they were once again reduced to six teams: Montreal
Canadians, Toronto Maple Leafs, Detroit Red Wings, Chicago Black Hawks,
Boston Bruins, and New York Rangers. These teams are called the Original
Six and were the only teams in the NHL for a quarter century. Today there
are 30 teams in the NHL, 24 from the US and 6 from Canada.
“Hockey captures the essence of Canadian experience in the New World.
In a land so inescapably and inhospitably cold, hockey is the chance of
life, and an affirmation that despite the deathly chill of winter we are
alive.” - Stephen Leacock
“Ice hockey is
a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept.” - Doug Larson
“My other car is a Zamboni.” - Hockey Saying
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Email Kirsten
“They’re
funny things, Accidents. You never have them till you’re having them.”
~ A. A. Milne ~
This morning, I fell out of bed. I’m not using that as a metaphor,a
euphemism, an exaggeration, or anything other than a simple statement
of fact. When most people say they fell out of bed, they’re usually
saying they got up feeling very tired, or very stressed, or very irritable.
That’s not the case with me. I actually fell out of bed. I rolled over
in my sleep, and woke up with a thwump as I hit the floor. As
luck would have it, this happened about two minutes before the alarm
was due to go off, so I was at least able to turn the alarm off and
spare myself the sound of breakfast show hosts being far too cheerful
for that time of the morning. I was also able to discern the reason
for my somewhat undignified entrance into the day: my son had crept
into the middle of the bed and shamelessly encroached on my space.
It’s so easy to blame my child, of course. Far easier than admitting
that I am too clumsy to avoid falling even when I am sleeping. I cannot
blame either of my kids for the rest of the day, though. Falling out
of bed was just the start of it. By the time I had been awake for half
an hour, I had poked my eye with a mascara wand, broken the heel of
one of my shoes, spilled coffee grounds all over the kitchen counter,
bumped my head, and dropped a jar full of pennies onto the floor. Miraculously,
I was able to get through all of this without swearing. Unless swearing
in your head counts, in which case I was cursing like a sailor who just
had his last bottle of whisky stolen by pirates.
Somehow I made it all the way to work without tripping over a shoelace
and falling onto the subway tracks.
My misfortune continued at work, though. I was holding some loose change,
counting out enough for a cup of coffee. All of a sudden, the coins
were flung into the air and rained down on me. I have no idea how it
happened, just that it attracted some curious looks from people. After
I picked up the coins, I shoved them into my pocket and went to get
the coffee. As I got into the elevator, I accidentally dropped my ID
card into the little gap between the elevator and the floor. So I had
to beg Building Maintenance to lend me a card until they had retrieved
mine from the bottom of the elevator shaft. They delivered my card to
me a short while later; I guess they didn’t think I’d be able to pick
it up from them and bring it all the way back to my desk without losing
it again. I can’t say I blame them.
What is up with me today, though? What is it that has made me so clumsy?
Am I just suffering from bad luck or is there some explanation for this?
A bit of digging shows that there is indeed a medical reason for clumsiness.
It all stems from an impairment in proprioception
(which is not a little plastic propellor on top of a novelty baseball
cap, as I originally thought). Proprioception is the sense we have of
where our body is in space. It tells us whether we are standing, seated
or lying down, and where our limbs are relative to each other. For instance,
I can tell without looking that my arms are roughly parallel to each
other, with my elbows pointing slightly outward, and that my left elbow
is a little further in from the edge of the desk than my right elbow.
My feet are flat on the ground, with my left foot pointing straight
ahead and my right foot turned slightly inward. Without proprioception,
I wouldn’t know any of this, and I would be in pretty serious trouble
if I wanted to get up and walk somewhere.
We all occasionally suffer from mild impairments of proprioception.
One of the biggest culprits is alcohol. Having a few drinks will mess
up proprioception faster than a politician will break an election promise.
This is why drunk people are not allowed to drive. The effect of exhaustion
on proprioception is the reason some experts are saying that driving
in a state of sleep-deprivation can be as dangerous as driving in a
state of inebriation. Impaired proprioception does not always have that
drastic an effect, of course. More commonly, it results in the kind
of clumsiness that was plaguing me throughout the day.
Fortunately, I made it home after work without incident. I did just
spill my cup of tea, though.
Kaleidoscopically yours,
Kirsten
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I’m having a
problem with my shoulder that I dislocated some 35 years ago, so it’s
kinda hard for me to type. I don’t want to let you down, though, so
I’m going to continue with the stupid e-mails I get from people that
can’t log in to my web site. Well, I’m going to offer one, and then
I’m going to offer what one of my co-workers said he does in such
situations.
First, the e-mail
I got from Karen(some number)@aol.com:
I have tried
repeatedly to access the account on different occasions–please help!
Yeah, okay Karen,
I’ll tell you what. You tell me if you are really some perverted guy
pretending to be a chick, or you can just e-mail me from your college
address. Or perhaps you could give me a real clue, like your last
name. It’s always a good idea to identify yourself when you need your
account fixed and you’re mailing from a different e-mail account.
I pondered what I should say, but then I saw Jerry in the hall.
Jerry is a professor
that gets papers “anonymous” papers submitted to him all the time,
often in the body of the e-mail. His solution is to reply to the e-mail
saying, “Wow, that paper stinks! Good thing I don’t know who you are.”
I like Jerry’s
attitude.
Tim a’Musing
Having a Ball with Yarns
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Instead of adding raw garlic to sauces, sauté the garlic first for a
milder flavor. - Peggy in Tonawanda, New York
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That
was an admittedly crummy line. We’d be hurtin’ without the make-ups!
Next opening line…
I once dreamed that I was a king/queen…
Hints:
Here’s a great new rhyming/composition tool. http://www.writerhymes.com/
There’s also a great rhyming dictionary at http://www.rhymezone.com/
Limerick rules. http://freespace.virgin.net/merrick.sheldon/limerickrules.htm
Submit
Opening Line
Submit
Limerick
A
thousand times I must have told you…
When you leave the house, what you are to do
Now go upstairs
Put on clean underware
Then if you’re in an accident, there’s no Poo. - Rick in Roanoke
(Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!) |
A
thousand times I must have told you,
I don’t want a second-hand gnu.
I know it belonged to Ellen,
But I’m going to start yellin’
If you don’t buy me a gnu that’s new. - Bonnie in Louisiana |
I haven’t
yet learned how to tell
If I’m using Word or Excel.
Computers confuse me-
Barely can find the shift key.
Now they want me to text on my cell? - Anne Onimous |
I haven’t
yet learned how to tell
Composer Rossini from Ravel.
But when my dreams conjure
Up the Lone Ranger
I hear the overture from William Tell. - Anne Onimous |
I haven’t
yet learned how to tell
What is heaven and what is hell.
For if wrong is right
And right is just trite
Then I live in a world by Orwell. - Anne Onimous |
I haven’t
yet learned how to tell
A pleasant from an offensive smell.
Though the size of a trunk,
My nose couldn’t smell the skunk
That caused my friends to bid me farewell. - Anne Onimous |
I haven’t
yet learned how to tell -
Which can make my boss loudly yell.
Let me be very frank,
When working for a bank,
It’s bad when the cash count don’t go well. - Anne Onimous |
I haven’t
yet learned how to tell
A dead weight from a barbell.
I get rather pensive
Because they’re both massive
And lifting one may be my death knell. - E. Cole Aye |
I
haven’t yet learned how to tell
If I’m in a hotel or motel.
But when in an affair
I really don’t care
As long as my consort does yell! - E. Cole Aye |
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Re:
Who Can Teach
Excellent subject, Mike. The
way I see it, if she did nothing illegal and has no criminal record,
there’s no reason not to hire her.
I see a
slippery slope. If you were ever a bartender, should you be allowed
to work at a school? A phone sex operator? A lawyer?
There are
dozens of legitimate jobs that someone, somewhere might object to. Two
of RGQ’s members have told me privately they worked as strippers at
one time. So what?
She hasn’t
done anything deserving of her losing her job, and if I were her and
got fired, I’d sue the hell out of ‘em! - Bruce
Mike wrote: “Is it right
to ban adult film stars?”
In my school teachers with credits on the Internet Adult Film Database
(IAFD) are paid double. There is more than enough money for every such
bonus. After all, teachers with profiles on MySpace or FaceBook receive
ten percent less than those without. - Mike from Florida
Re: Reader Submission
For BJ in Guthrie
Is this the way your aunt talks? It seems awfully “formal” to be coming
from a relative. But then maybe that was your first clue.
I know there are accounts like gmail that will allow you to leave all
your e-mail on their server, and this particular incident shows why
that is probably not a good idea.
Brings me to another thought - I have one password for all my accounts
(or at least a variation of that password). When I worked at Paul Mueller
(a large tank manufacturing corporation in southwest Missouri), we had
to change our password every week or so. Our IT department took care
of that, but at home it is a chore to change them - especially for an
e-mail account.
All in all, it’s a very scary world out there! - Noella
Reader Submission
Cellular regeneration
Amazing!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxhi4Q8EDTU
- Tammy in Alabama
Just trying to do my part in keeping you guys healthy! - Patty in Everett,
Washington
I want you to live a long time. So be sure to read the article below.
Back in the Financial Crash
of 1929, some Wall Street executives, stockbrokers and bankers actually
JUMPED from their office windows and committed suicide when confronted
with the news of the financial ruin of their firms and clients. Many
people were said to almost feel a little sorry for them…In 2008 the
attitude has changed somewhat: - Margee
Re: Reader Submission
Last week I announced a new group that I had formed, designed to network
and brainstorm with likeminded people, with the ultimate goal being
to get more publicity and recognition for my hydrothermal energy system.
I’d like to repeat my appeal for any interested reader to join, and
I’m so serious that this time I’m even going to put a correct link in
RGQ for it! Sending a blank email to marshallsystem+subscribe@googlegroups.com
and replying to the autoresponse is all you have to do if you’d like
to help. Your assistance will be appreciated. - Bruce
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Disclaimer- All quotes printed in this publication are believed to be
accurately attributed, but no guarantees are made that some incorrectly
attributed, or even outright false quotes won’t get in here from time
to time. I assure readers that I will do my best to weed out incorrect
quotes, and will print a retraction as soon as I become aware of any errors.
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Click here to see the archives of past issues, or go to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/reallygoodquotes/messages.
If you run across something really outstanding when perusing the archives,
I’d appreciate it if you’d mail me at TheBestOfRGQ@yahoo.com
and point it out to me. I’m in the process of compiling an e-book
called, not surprisingly, The Best of RGQ, and I’d like to hear from you
which pieces impacted you the most. |
| Questions?
Comments? Want to contribute a joke or a quote or an image? Feel free
to e-mail
at reallygoodquotes@gmail.com.
We’d love to hear from you! We’ll even publish your comments, if they
make any sense! 
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