Archive for August 27th, 2008

August 27, 2008

Wednesday, August 27th, 2008
Really Good Quotes "A mind, once expanded by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
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Greetings, Quotaholics:

Raising a teenager is certainly one of life’s most difficult tasks.  You are full of hopes and aspirations for your child, but s/he may not want to cooperate…at all, sometimes.

If you have ever had a defiant teen, one that refuses to fulfill even the most basic responsibilities like going to school, you understand just how trying parenthood can be.  Most truancy laws that I’m aware of target the parents.  They are fined or hauled into court to answer for what their kids have or have not done.  chron.com is reporting on a different approach, that of targeting the kids themselves.

Court officials in San Antonio, Texas are trying a pilot program which would force habitual truants to wear GPS ankle bracelets.

“We are at a critical point in our time where we can either educate or incarcerate,” said Linda Penn, a Bexar County justice of the peace, linking truancy with juvenile delinquency and later criminal activity.

She anticipates that about 50 students - likely to be mostly high schoolers - will wear the thick ankle bracelets during the six-month pilot program announced Friday.  She said the time students wear the anklets will be on a case-by-case basis, but she doubted any will wear them the entire half-year.

Penn said students in the program will wear the ankle bracelets full-time and will not be able to remove them. They’ll be selected as they come through her court, and Penn will target truant students with gang affiliations, those with a history of running away and skipping school, and those who have been through her court multiple times.

She said the electronic monitoring is part of a comprehensive program she started four years ago to reduce truancy. She cited programs in Midland and Dallas as having success with similar electronic monitoring measures.

Terri Burke, executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Texas, had some concerns about the approach.  She said requiring students to wear the GPS bracelets full-time raises privacy concerns.

“We’re all for keeping kids in school, and we applaud any efforts to make that happen,” Burke said.

This is certainly a novel approach to truancy and runaway problems, and I’m wondering how you see it.  Is this a good idea?  Will this keep the truants in school?  Would you favor a similar program in your community, or for your own kids?

And what of the civil liberties questions?  If the student, even though truant, has not committed a crime for which s/he is under house arrest requiring 24 hour monitoring, don’t they have the right to be free of surveillance beyond school hours?

Interesting questions and food for thought.

Scholastically,



Isn’t it worth $1 a month to you to keep RGQ going?  Please click the link and direct your contribution to reallygoodquotes@yahoo.com.


Today's Quotes


“No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.” - Joe Gay



“Any ship can be a minesweeper.  Once.” - U.S. Navy

Today's Chuckle

The Recruit
[Thanks to Bonnie in Louisiana]

A busload of new recruits arrived at the reception center, and was greeted by an old drill sergeant. He began his speech: “Welcome to Fort Dix, men. From now on, I want you to think of the Army as your family and as your home.”

Hearing this, one of the recruits broke formation, sat down and lit a cigarette.

“Private, what on earth are you doing?” asked the sergeant.

“Well,” said the private, “I’m just making myself at home. Like you said, this is my home.”

Thinking fast, the sergeant said, “Son, you listen good, and you’re right. This is your home. So, as soon as you finish that cigarette, I want you to report to the mess hall to help your mother with the dishes for the next two weeks.”

Life Sentences

“A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs; jolted by every pebble in the road.” - Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887) 

“It’s hard enough to write a good drama. It’s much harder to write a good comedy, and it’s hardest of all to write a drama with comedy. Which is what life is.” - Jack Lemmon (1925-2001)  

“The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you’ll grow out of it.” - Doris Day
Image'n That
Ouch
[Thanks to Robert, an American original]
Imp-Revised News

E-Mail the Imp


Japan is the land of …vending machines. You can find the usual types of vending machines filled with soft drinks, coffee and tea, snacks, and candy just like most of the world. You can buy beer, wine, or whiskey. You can buy underwear and socks, books and newspapers, handkerchiefs, nail clippers, sewing kits, and combs, flowers and pearls, hot food and complete meals, and they’re getting close to having vending machine motel rooms.

That last might be a stretch…but they do have “Capsule Hotels” and “Sleeping Tubes” which could become vending machine products.

Twenty years ago I can remember disposable cameras, film, flashbulbs, and audio micro-cassettes in a machine right next to one where you could “rent” a cellular phone. This was in the Baltimore-Washington International Airport. The phone machine cost you $100 on a credit card, plus you ended up paying about a half dollar a minute for the calls you made or received. Two months later the phone machine was gone…I suppose it wasn’t a money maker.

Bet Buy Co and ZoomSystems, a California vending machine company, are teaming up to put a “gadget” vending machine in selected US airports starting in September. They plan to sell cell phone and computer accessories, along with digital cameras, portable data storage devices, headphones, travel adapters, electronic chargers and other items. Why they haven’t included throwaway cell phones is beyond me, but I’m sure customer feedback will get them on the list in short order.

With the right kind of vending machines and a place to sleep and clean-up, you don’t need a home. I once was involved with a logistics support group for some crisis in the third world (during my five year tour at the Marine Corps Logistic base, those came up about three times a year) for the better part of a week. I was at a defense contractor’s facility and went there before getting a motel room. I never got the chance to get to the motel or leave the facility so I lived on vending machine soup, stew, chili, and sandwiches. There was a cigarette machine (thank goodness) and an employee gym and shower. The contractor brought in camp cots but we all balked on having catered meals brought in. That would have taken away the hope we could get out of there early and would have disallowed $110.00 a day per diem.

There’s really no limit to what you can vend through a machine. You don’t even have to limit the items to disposables or consumables. Come up with the right scheme to dispense and recover an item, you could even vend laptop computers. Charge the credit card of the buyer for the cost of the machine plus a “rental” fee. When it is returned it slides into a docking station and diagnostics are run. If it checks out, you receive a credit for the replacement cost you were originally charged and you’re on your way.

I wonder if the “Mustang Ranch” in Nevada ever thought about a vending machine for dispensing ladies of the evening. Now that would be something to invest in!

The Bad Sied 

Most Embarrassing or Scary Moment


Speak Up!

Speak right up!

Patti's Parenthetical Past


On this day in history,
August 27, 1896: The Anglo-Zanzibar War begins – and ends. The entire war lasted 38 minutes and is considered to be the shortest war in recorded history. Zanzibar was an Anglo colony when the sun smiled on the British Empire. Sultan Hamad bin Thuwaini had been cooperating with British colonial administrators. The Sultan died on August 24 and his nephew, Khalid bin Bargash, seized control.

The Brits would have preferred to have Hamud bin Muhammed as leader, thinking he would be more amenable to their presence. They issued an ultimatum to Bargash who refused to abdicate. Instead, he began to assemble an army of nearly 3,000 men, mostly extended family members. The highest ranking among his army was a colonel. Bargash also brought the Sultan’s yacht into service as his navy.

The ultimatum ran out at 9 AM and the British naval presence began its bombardment of the island. They soon sunk the Zanzibar navy and began shelling the palace. Bargash escaped to the German consulate. After 38 minutes, it was all over. The Germans refused to hand over Bargash who escaped the island on October 2, 1896. Bargash was captured by the British in 1916. He was permitted to live on the island of Mombasa until his death in 1927. After the installation of a more malleable government, the British demanded payment for the shells fired during the war. The British contingency suffered one casualty, one soldier was wounded. The Zanzibar forces saw about 500 men killed.



“The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations.” - David Friedman


“The most persistent sound which reverberates through men’s history is the beating of war drums.” - Arthur Koestler



“Only the dead have seen the end of war.” - Plato


Kids' Weird Words, The Date from Hell, How I Met My Mate
Kirsten's Krazy Kaleidoscope

Email Kirsten

“The only gift is a portion of thyself.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

Many years ago, I saw a movie called Jesus of Montreal, in which the protagonist leads a controversial life. At the end of the movie he is killed in an accident, and in an intriguing parallel with the Jesus we all know about, his death has the result of saving others. The salvation takes a different form, though. Where Jesus of Montreal saved the souls of sinners, Jesus of Montreal became an organ donor and allowed people to continue living in the here and now.

There are few people who would deny that organ donation is a noble thing. Most countries have laws that allow people to state that when they die, they would like their organs to be used to save the lives of other people. In Ontario, it’s as easy as checking off a box on either your health card application or your drivers licence application. The rules are very straightforward. If you don’t clearly indicate that you wish to be an organ donor, your organs will not be used. Exceptions are made in the case of minors whose parents give consent for them to be donors.

Things are about to get pretty hairy, though, in the whole organ donor issue. A motion is on the table in Ontario to switch to a system of “presumed consent”. If this system is adopted, hospitals will have the right to assume that you are an organ donor unless you have specifically stated that you are not. A couple of European countries have already adopted this system, and more are set to follow. The rationale behind this is the sheer number of people waiting for organs. In Ontario, well over a thousand people are on organ recipient waiting lists. Nationwide, the number is over four thousand. Almost two hundred people die each year because they did not receive organs soon enough.

Because this is an issue involving human beings, there are heated arguments both for and against the idea. Opponents say that everyone should have the right to decide what happens to his or her body. There is also a potential logistical issue. There is a relatively short window of time in which the organs of a recently deceased person can be harvested. What happens if a body is not immediately identified? Will the organs of the deceased be used even though no-one knows who they are or whether they have chosen not to be a donor? Or will authorities track down the person’s identity and family, thereby running the risk of “losing” those organs? There are also conspiracy theorists who fear that doctors will less fervent in their efforts to save accident victims and the like, in order to gain access to organs.

People in favour of the whole issue say that the rights of a critically ill person to live should trump everything else. The dead person, as they point out, is hardly going to miss those organs. Besides, they argue, there are lots of people who want to be donors - or at least, wouldn’t object to it - but never get around to filling out the appropriate paperwork.

I myself am somewhat ambivalent on the issue. In practical terms, it makes no difference to me. I am a big fan of organ donation. My health card and drivers licence both state that I will be an organ donor in the event of my death, and my family are aware of these wishes. However, I don’t know if I like the idea of that decision being made for me. As noble as the cause is, and as many lives as it could save, it seems like the removal of a basic freedom that we have. I would much rather see a campaign to enlist people to the cause.

I think this is one of those issues that we’ll never get complete agreement on, like abortion and the right to smoke marijuana. But if we agreed on everything, life wouldn’t be half as colourful.

Kaleidoscopically yours,
Kirsten

Tim's Tales

As you know, I’ve been working on a web page so students and faculty can access things like class schedules and class rosters online. I’ve been working on this for about seven or eight months, and we go live Thursday. That isn’t a problem, the web page is ready. However, there are always things that rear their ugly head just before you go live. You can foresee many of them and try to prevent them, but that isn’t always possible.

For example, I had a special e-mail address set up just for this web page. Because of certain government regulations, the faculty has to sign a form saying that they won’t look up students that they have no business looking up, like their children. That information is private, unless a student signs a form saying it can be released. For example, a student might not want their parents to see their grades. By default, anyone with access to grades cannot disclose that information to the student’s parents. Faculty have to agree to keep that information confidential.

They also have to e-mail me at that special address if they want access to the system. I then send them the form, which they sign and return to me. Then I create their account using their e-mail username, and send them their temporary password with instructions on how to change that password and navigate the web page. Pretty simple, right? That’s what I thought, but that hasn’t exactly been the case.

One department chair e-mailed me at my regular address (not the special address) and asked if they should use their e-mail username to log in to the web page. To be fair, the e-mail I sent her didn’t say that was the correct username, but that’s the username she uses for all other college applications. I changed the e-mail I send out when I create the account to inform any other total idiots that it was, indeed, the same username. I wanted so tell her that her username was moron, but I don’t think she would have taken that too well.

I had the secretary for the Vice President of Academic Affairs call me because she was also a student and couldn’t log on. I told her to e-mail me at the special address and I’d look into it tomorrow. She e-mailed me at my regular address, and gave her password as her student ID number, which is not her temporary password.

I had a new faculty member call me twice (I was out of the office the first time) wanting her password. I told her the proper procedure was to send an e-mail to the special address, which she managed to do. When I created her account, I sent her an e-mail which clearly explains that you are forced to change your password as soon as you log in. She promptly replied that her account was disabled. The dipshit didn’t read the e-mail, she just freaked that she had to change her password. The word “disabled” appears nowhere on that page, it says the temporary password has expired. I can’t wait until tomorrow when I e-mail her and ask her to send me the exact error message. I wonder if she would pass a student that had her level of reading comprehension.

I could go on, but I’m trying to figure out how to remove my air conditioner so I can take a swan dive out my window.

Tim a’Musing
Having a Ball with Yarns

Tip of the Day


If a recipe calls for 1 cup sour cream, you may substitute 1 cup cottage cheese blended until smooth with 1 tablespoon lemon juice and 1/3 cup buttermilk. - Peggy in Tonawanda, New York

Poet-Tree


Now THIS is a turnout!  All it took was a randy young lad, too.

Next opening line…
I learned that two things just don’t mix…

Hints:  Here’s a great new rhyming/composition tool.  http://www.writerhymes.com/
There’s also a great rhyming dictionary at http://www.rhymezone.com/
Limerick rules.  http://freespace.virgin.net/merrick.sheldon/limerickrules.htm 

Submit Opening Line
Submit Limerick

A randy young lad from Berlin,
went out in search of some skin,
though he looked high and low,
he couldn’t find him a `ho’
and so he was saved from a sin. - Mike
A randy young lad from Berlin,
to his lady just gave a big grin,
and said with a chuckle,
“Just undo that buckle,
and quick, I can’t wait to begin!” - Mike
A randy young lad from Berlin,
had sex with a conjoined twin,
he felt like a louse,
when he reached in her blouse,
“There’s a butt where a tit should’ve been!” - Mike
[Welcome back to the limerick section, Mike!]
A randy young lad from Berlin
Loved daily to commit sin after sin.
But then he saw the light
And started to live right
After his life went into a tailspin. - Anne Onimous
A randy young lad from Berlin
Loved to swill from flasks of gin
Verily and forsooth,
He now has gained some couth. . .
He now wipes his mouth with a napkin. - Anne Onimous
A randy young lad from Berlin
Said to me with a great big grin
I never twiddle
Instead I fiddle
Around when I pick up my violin. - Anne Onimous
A randy young lad from Berlin
Said, as he picked up his violin,
“I’ll tell you my theory
On relativity…”
Thus Einstein’s lecture did begin. - Anne Onimous
A randy young lad from Berlin
Could talk physics and play a violin.
But he made Hitler mad
`Cuz Jewish blood he had
So Einstein left and taught at Princeton. - Anne Onimous
A randy young lad from Berlin
Said with a sly, mischievous grin:
My name is Randy
And I’m a dandy
When I wear my outfit that’s sharkskin. - Anne Onimous
A randy young lad from Berlin
Asked me if I could spot him a fin.
“I spent my last one
Food I now have none
And I’m becoming rather thin.” - Anne Onimous
A randy young lad from Berlin
Went home to visit his kin.
He said so smugly
“Bill, you’re so ugly!”
(You see, Bill’s his identical twin.) - Anne Onimous
A randy young lad from Berlin
Refused to take it on the chin
“If to fight you insist
My face please resist
I’d rather you kick me in the shin.” - E. Cole Aye
A randy young lad from Berlin
Said, “It is to my great chagrin
That it was my daddy
Who named me Randy
After attending a German love-in.” - E. Cole Aye
A randy young lad from Berlin
Loved to play with his foreskin.
But he just quit one day
As rabbi past his way
And threatened to use a bodkin. - E. Cole Aye
A randy young lad from Berlin—
had something dribbling down his chin—
He said it was semen
and he was just beamin’
’cause in his throat a d*** was in. - Cassandra in New York
A randy young lad from Berlin
Didn’t know where to begin;
When it came to sex,
It seemed very complex;
He didn’t know where to put it in! - Bonnie in Louisiana
A randy young lad from Berlin
Offered to take me to din-din
Embraced the invite
Then blanched ashen white
For dessert he suggested such sin! - Maria in Illinois
 

Reader Comments

Re: Self Recognition in Magpies

I find it remarkable that magpies can recognize themselves in a mirror.
Just this morning I looked in the mirror and saw my dad! *sigh* - Cliff (Yeah, the hidden RGQ Cliff)

 

Re: CAPTCHA

As a blind computer user, I can tell you that the security code is a pain. Not only can’t I read the darn thing, but there isn’t always someone around to read it to me. Then, there is a privacy issue. I hate to have to share my net activities just because of the code. Having said that, I at least would benefit from digital text books of any discription, and the more that are available the better. So, for me it is a mixed bag. - Lucille

 

Re: Fat Chubby Obese Overweight Kids Children

In the first place, let’s change this subject line. How would you adults like to be called, “Fat Grownups”? You would not. So in the first place let’s stop making these kids feel so horrible. In the second place, I agree that it is just as in expensive to get good and healthy snacks as it is to get junk food. I’ve been arguing that point with my father for years.

Now, as far as these foods being easy to prepare, what about snack pack yogurt cups? What about snack pack fruit cocktail? What about ready to eat granola bars, and cereal bars? What about healthy fruit snacks like fruit roll ups, and fruit bites? I watch my daughter do this for my grand daughter all the time, and my boyfriend does this for his son too. They’re both on food assistance programs. So it is not the price. It is a choice.

The biggest problem is that parents don’t wish to say no to their kids. They’re making the same mistakes that I made when my daughter was growing up. They want their kids to like them, and be their friend. Well, that is a big fat___ no! You can not be your kid’s friend and parent all at the same time. I learned that the hard way. Not where food was concerned, but in other ways. Remember you’re the parent. You’re not always going to be your kid’s friend, or even their favorite person. Well, too darned bad! Make them mad now, and they’ll thank you for it later. If they throw a fit over healthy snacks, then tell them firmly but politely, either you eat what I give you or simply be hungry till you decide to try this new way. Then pick a night or weekend day for a junk food treat. Stop blaming the fast food places, or the advertisements on TV. Who rules the roost in your house? The kids and the TV or you?

Now, think about that for a while, and then watch your kids. What do they do after school? Do they come in on a beautiful day and plop down in front of the TV or computer, or a video game with a huge bowl of chips and dip? Or do they come in, and do what my boyfriend’s son does? He comes in, and yes he will plop down in front of the TV for a time, to relax, and just vegg out for a while. What does he eat? Well, Hmmm? Well, Hmmm? let’s see here, Cheese nips, Pretzels, Fruit snacks, etc. Do you think that my boy friend gives him a choice between cookies and this stuff? Well, Duh? Of couse not. If he did, he’d never get the healthy stuff in.
He gives him a dessert some times if he eats his dinner. A special after school snack might happen sometimes on a special ocasion. Not every day. Do you think my boy friend gives a rat’s….. if the kid throws a fit about his snack? Well, Duh? No he does not. He tells him this way, “You can have this snack now, and wait for dinner to be ready, or you can do with out the snack, and you’ll just be that much more hungry for dinner”.

Now, do you still think you can get by with that junk about it being too hard or too expensive to get healthy snacks and food in to your kids? If so, then it is you who has the problem, and your kids are suffering for it. There is just no way you’re going to convince me that it is too hard to fix healthy meals after work either, and that it takes time away from your children. Why can’t you make your kids a part of dinner making? Can’t they set the table, chop veggies, or even pour a bag of frozen veggies in the pot of water to boil, or in a steaming tray to steam? What is wrong with you adults? I’ll tell you what, you’re lazy and gutless. You don’t want to say no to your kids, and God forbid they might make a mess in the kitchen during dinner.
All this crap you’re using for an excuse is just that, an excuse. I don’t think it is the kid’s falt at all. I think it is the falt of the parents who do not have the guts within themselves to “JUST SAY NO TO JUNK”! SHAME on YOU! - From Patty, Celine Kitty, the Rowdy Dog, and the Tazz



Patti, my take on this is that while we have all been told the virtues of proper diet, the fact is that the average “health food” meal is not nearly as tasty as a less healthy one. It’s also harder for the average person to prepare healthy food from scratch when opening cans and packages is so much faster and easier. You rarely see a television commercial for fresh fruits and vegetables but you can see a commercial for pre-sweetened cereals or fast food anytime you turn the TV on. When your kids, who have just spent the day watching TV, are begging for fast food it’s hard to sell them on broccoli! When mom has spent the day working, and is feeling guilty for not spending time with the kids, it’s hard for her to be firm and insist on the children eating a balanced meal which she is too tired to fix anyway.

Sorry, but I just do not agree with the statement that health food, or rather, healthy food, is less tasty than junk food. Also, I disagree with the statement that it is hard to prepare a healthy meal. I believe that a healthy, tasty meal can be prepared in less than half an hour. But then, I have the time to do that, as I chucked out my television. I suddenly have lots of time to spend on meaningful activities. Maybe that is the root of the problem. Take away the television, and suddenly the whole family will have time on their hands. Maybe it is time to investigate the link between junk food consumption and time spent in front of a television. I think the researchers will find that obese people spend hours in front of the television, instead of exercising and preparing proper meals. - Jo in Namibia



Re: Opening Line

Bruce, I hate to burst your bubble and dethrone myself as your favorite limerick writer, but last week you attributed the following limerick to me,

A fat, lazy hound dog named Blue,
Was hunting some new thing to chew.
He now has a headache,
A back ache, and butt ache.
No more will he chew on MY shoe.

As much as I’d like to claim it, it’s not mine. After a bit of research I discovered that this limerick came from the December 8, 2003 issue and was written by someone named Wally.

My contribution to that issue was,

A fat, lazy hound dog named Blue
for the movies was taught how to screw
he had a career
screwing aardvarks and deer
then retired to Kalamazoo.


Can I be your second favorite?? - Mike
[Now that’s integrity!  I said all that nice stuff and it wasn’t even about you.

Sorry, Wally, if you’re still out there.  And while we’re at it, where have you gone?  That was a great limerick!

Mike, you’re definitely my second favorite. Are you gonna write more limericks now?]



“A randy young lad from Berlin”, now there’s something you can sink your teeth into.
Uh,, I mean limerick wise! - Mike

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Disclaimer- All quotes printed in this publication are believed to be accurately attributed, but no guarantees are made that some incorrectly attributed, or even outright false quotes won’t get in here from time to time.  I assure readers that I will do my best to weed out incorrect quotes, and will print a retraction as soon as I become aware of any errors.

Click here
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