Archive for August 15th, 2008

August 15, 2008

Friday, August 15th, 2008
Really Good Quotes "A mind, once expanded by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
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Greetings, Quotaholics:

I’ve always felt sorry for people living in war zones or police states where they were under martial law. Imagine not being able to come and go as you pleased. Being stopped by armed police every time you leave the house. Being subject to arrest just for breaking curfew.

We’re accustomed to hearing this sort of thing coming from places like Kosovo, Iraq, Russia, etc. but this week an Associated Press article told of this sort of martial law right here in the U.S. As a matter of fact, right here in Arkansas.

Over a week ago, the city of Helena-West Helena imposed a 24 hour curfew on a 10 block area of the city. The neighborhood has been plagued by random shootings and drug violence so the mayor imposed a round-the-clock curfew. According to the article, “On Tuesday, the Helena-West Helena City Council voted 9-0 to allow police to expand that program into any area of the city, despite a warning from a lawyer with the American Civil Liberties Union of Arkansas that the police stops were unconstitutional.”

Mayor James Valley was quoted as saying, "The citizens deserve peace, that some infringement on constitutional rights is OK and we have not violated anything as far as the Constitution."

“Police Chief Fred Fielder said officers had not arrested anyone for violating the curfew, only questioned people about why they were outside. Those without good answers or acting nervously get additional attention, Fielder said.”

“However, such stops likely violate residents’ constitutional rights to freely assemble and protections against unreasonable police searches, said Holly Dickson, a lawyer for the ACLU of Arkansas who addressed the council at its packed Tuesday meeting. Because of that, Dickson said any convictions coming from the arrests likely would be overturned.”

“‘The residents of these high-crime areas are already victims,’ she said. ‘They’re victims of what are happening in the neighborhoods, they’re victims of fear. But for them to be subject to unlawful stops and questioning … that is not going to ultimately help this situation.’”

So, as usual, the police tell us they are doing something for our own good. As usual, there are people who are willing to freely give up their freedom for the promise of protection. And, as usual, people don’t stop killing each other, or robbing each other, or raping each other. The only thing that changes is that law abiding people are prevented from coming and going as they please.

Is it time to worry yet? Aren’t the police forces in the countries of the so called “free world” becoming more of an occupying army than a force meant to “protect and serve”? Aren’t people just about as scared of the police as they are the “bad guys”? When the police put on a big show of force such as this, does it do anything other than chase the crime out of the already blighted neighborhoods and into previously safe ones?

Cowering in my corner,


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Today's Quotes


“When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance.” - Victor Borge, Danish born American comedian and pianist (1909-2000)


“A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what’s left of your unit.” - Army’s magazine of preventive maintenance.
Today's Chuckle

Funeral Service
[Thanks, Nathalie]

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive!

She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, "The wall! Watch the damned wall!"
Life Sentences

“Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood.” - Fred Rogers, American television host and producer (1928-2003)

“All good things are wild, and free.” - Henry David Thoreau
“Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.” - Bill Cosby
Image'n That

Ouch
[Thanks to Robert, an American original]
Imp-Revised News

E-Mail the Imp


The Chinese. According to the World Factbook the population of China is slightly more than 1.3 billion with a birth rate of 13.1 per thousand and a mortality rate of 7.03 per thousand. That makes for an impressive growth rate. The Chinese have no shortage of people, and in fact have initiated programs to control population growth.

“Thirty six inches back to chest/Marching along, twelve abreast/Marching in quicktime to the seas/You’ll never see the last Chinese.” With that spacing you’d have over 20K people per mile in the line of march. At that speed it would take over three years to move the entire population of China past a fixed point, and with a growth rate of just a tad over six per thousand you’re adding several millions a year…so add a year or two. That’s a hell of a lot of people although it belies the poem unless you get bored and quit watching.

A Hong Kong company is trying to locate up to a million donkey skins every year to be used in the making of traditional Chinese medicines. They don’t care about the meat, they just want the skins. They are processed into Ejiao, a donkey skin gelatin that is the base for many products including glue. According to the article, in traditional Chinese medicine Nu Bao is produced from Ejiao, and is used to relieve menstrual pain and to stimulate the female libido.

Why would you want to stimulate libidos when you’re trying to keep population growth in check is beyond me. I’m also sure that there are better medications to relieve menstrual pain than anything involving the slaughter of those cute wild donkeys (1), (2). I also find it strange that the ingredients listed for Nu Bao product ads (1), (2) don’t mention squat about donkeys or donkey hide gelatin being used in any form.

In contrast, a 2004 article from the Medicines and Health Care Products Regulatory Agency of the UK Department of Health lists not only donkey hide but human placenta also as Nu Bao ingredients. So it would seem that there are two types of herbal or folk remedies called Nu Bao. I’m wondering if one is the modern, government approved version and one is the ancient, unapproved, and possibly illegal underground version.

I apologize for no hook, no twist. This story depressed me and upset me and I hate to suffer alone. I just hope the story spreads in Australia and the slaughter of wild donkeys doesn’t take place. If it does, I hope the jackasses that take the hides are forced to consume the jackass meat they’ll try to leave behind; at least it wouldn’t go to waste.

The Bad Sied 
Most Embarrassing or Scary Moment


Speak Up!
Speak right up!

Patti's Parenthetical Past

On this day in history, August 15, 1935: Beloved Humorist and World Famous Pilot are killed in a plane crash. Will Rogers was not only funny but a social commentator and actor. Wiley Post was the first to fly solo around the world in 1933. Post began his career as a parachutist for Burrell Tibbs and His Topnotch Fliers. In 1926, just short of his 28th birthday, he lost his left eye in an oil field accident. He used his settlement to purchase his first plane. He first met Will Rogers while flying him to a rodeo and the two became friends.

In 1935, Post was interested in a mail-and-passenger air route from the west coast to Russia. Without enough cash to buy a plane, he cobbled together parts from two different Lockheed aircraft, an Orion and a wrecked experimental Explorer. He used the non-retractable landing gear to make it a float plane. Rogers visited Post in California and they agreed to fly together up to Alaska, Rogers looking for new topics for his columns. Because some parts did not arrive in time, others were used making the plane nose-heavy. During some bad weather, Post landed on a lagoon to ask directions. The engine failed during take off and the nose heavy plane disintegrated as it crashed into the water, killing both men instantly.



"I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat."



"An ignorant person is one who doesn’t know what you have just found out."



"Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today." – all from Will Rogers
Kids' Weird Words, The Date from Hell, How I Met My Mate
Kirsten's Krazy Kaleidoscope

Email Kirsten

“Being rich is having money; being wealthy is having time.”
~ Margaret Bonnano ~

Whoever said that a change is as good as a holiday was talking absolute rubbish. In the last several years, my life has been through several good solid changes, and while many of them were changes for the better, I can honestly say that nothing beats a good holiday. For the last two weeks, I have managed to actually relax. Not sleep, necessarily, because the mattress I had was less than comfortable, but definitely relax. I did not have to get up, inhale a cup of coffee and stagger around in the subway system at ungodly hours of the morning. I was able to get up at my leisure (or that of my kids), have a leisurely cup of coffee on a back patio in the company of my mother, play on the beach with the kids, and have nice meals in the evenings along with good quantities of good wine. I had time to just sit and read books; I got a nice tan; I didn’t care about whether or not I was gaining weight. I did not spare a single thought for the people at work.

It did me the world of good. Not only was I far away from the cares of daily life, I was in a place where everyone drives Porsches and Ferraris. Down in the Hamptons, my shabby old minivan stood out a little bit. We stayed on a very nice house owned by a friend of my brother’s. The neighbour on one side has some major stake in the Gugenheim Museum. The neighbour on the other side is a wife or ex-wife or ex-something-or-other of Calvin Klein. Food prices at the local mall made my eyes spin in their sockets, and property prices were beyond my range of comprehension. It is a world very different to the one I am used to.

I don’t know that I would want to be a part of it, though. I discovered some interesting things about what my mom refers to as the “Mink and Manure” set. (No offense to anyone who happens to be rich or live in the Hamptons. These observations are a broad generalization, and I did meet some very nice exceptions). One thing that amazed me was how litigious many of the people there are. Indeed, some of them are rich precisely because they make a habit of ruthlessly suing anyone who farts in the wrong direction. They tend to be very exclusive. So much so that if you don’t actually live in the area, you cannot get a permit to park at most of the beaches. Those beaches that do offer day parking passes are so chock-full that you might as well park in Manhattan and walk.

What surprised me the most, though, was the experience of grocery shopping. Maybe I’m just used to laid-back Canadians who don’t speed-shop as if it were an Olympic event. In my local grocery store in Toronto, if someone else’s cart is in your way, they just move it aside so you can pass. It’s just one of those “done things” that no-one really thinks about. In the Hamptons, if you don’t move out of the way in time, someone will just mow you down with their cart without thinking twice. They will block entire aisles, and if you want to pass you just have to figure out a way of doing it. I actually saw shoppers driving their carts into other people’s carts to get by. It was like a bizarre Bumper Cars game. Grocery shopping in the Hamptons is, in my experience, a case of “Eat or be eaten”.

I say all of this without any malice whatsoever. It was a very interesting study in different facets of human nature. The fact that I sustained a minor shopping cart injury does not detract at all from the fact that I had a wonderful time. Now I am back, and I have to return to the business of daily life. The vacation may be over, but some wonderful memories were made. My mom got to spend time with her grandsons; I got to witness my brother being a phenomenally good uncle.

My regular columns will resume on Monday. I hope you’ve missed me!

Kaleidoscopically yours,
Kirsten
Tim's Tales

More of the Best of Tim


Being a judge seems like it would be a pretty hard job. Sure, there’s knowing you have the power to determine how someone’s case plays out, but day in and day out, you listen to lawyers yapping on and on trying to massage your opinion. I worked for lawyers and even talking to them was difficult. I hardly ever saw them, but they were always trying to yank you in one direction or another.

Listening to motions day in and day out could drive someone nuts. I would imagine that at one point or another, a judge would lose focus and have something else pop into their head. I would imagine that could be somewhat embarrassing should they get caught with their pants down, so to speak.

That’s what happened to a judge in France. A lawyer was pleading her case when something came up. Literally. While listening to her oral argument, it seems this 39 year old judge was thinking more of what was in her briefs. Seeing as how a man has only has enough blood to use one head at a time, this judge discreetly lifted his robe and opened his trousers, then proceeded with a rather vigorous exercising of his judicial powers. Unfortunately, this deposing of his privates wasn’t as discreet as he would have hoped. A reporter caught him "making unambiguous gestures" and, being a reporter, reported it.

There was no mention of whether the judge was allowed to conclude his activities in this case, but after his exposure he was suspended from his professional duties and ordered to see a psychiatrist. He’s still free to see to his private affairs, and rumor has it he has his date with a psychiatrist Saturday night.

Tim a’Musing
Having a Ball with Yarns
Tip of the Day

For fresh flavor in orange juice add the juice of one lemon. - Peggy in Tonawanda, New York
Poet-Tree


NorCalKat jumped in to give us a full boat today!

Next opening line…
Finally I have some spare time! …

Hints:  Here’s a great new rhyming/composition tool.  http://www.writerhymes.com/
There’s also a great rhyming dictionary at http://www.rhymezone.com/
Limerick rules.  http://freespace.virgin.net/merrick.sheldon/limerickrules.htm 

Submit Opening Line
Submit Limerick

Mom over and over told me
Tim, a great writer you will be
But she was wrong
I wrote a song
"The cow that jumped over the tree"
It wasn’t quite a hit - Tim

 Mom over and over told me—
"Don’t run or you’ll skin your right knee"—
But I didn’t listen
my shin needed kissin’
and then her wisdom I could see. - Cassandra in New York
Mom over and over told me
Do not believe all that you see
For people will trick
And prey on the thick
Married your dad; it happened to me! - Maria in Illinois		 Mom over and over told me,
Don’t buy what you can get for free.
So, I was stingy with my favors
And, now, everyone savors
Everytime I make my creme brulee. - Bonnie in Louisiana
Mom over and over told me
in order to live in Paree,
"Marry a rich man"
Mmmmmm quite a good plan!
Oh YES, I totally agree! - NorCalKat		 Mom over and over told me
"Nothing in life is ever free.
You have to work hard,
always be on guard,
There’s never any guarantee!" - NorCalKat
Mom over and over told me
there’s always a time to be
quiet, at the time
you’ve run out of rhyme(s)
So back to my garden I flee! - NorCalKat		 Bruce wants to know, "Where are we all?"
Myself I’m out having a ball!
My garden looks great,
I work five to eight
That’s why I’ve been slow to the call! - NorCalKat
Bruce needs a bit of assurance,
we can still show some brilliance!
For one I’ve been slack,
time is what I lack…
also a lack of confidence.
NorCalKat		 Today I’m just taking a break,
probably making a mistake
by trying to rhyme,
likely wasting time.
Another beer I should partake! - NorCalKat

Reader Comments
Re: Maternity Wear

I think modesty has gotten a bad name. There seems to be an attitude permeating the world that all bodies are beautiful and should be flaunted. This is simply not so. I see far too many muffin tops, whale tails, and assorted protruding belly buttons. We are getting fatter and fatter and the look isn’t all that appealing, whether male or female. There is nothing nice about an overweight, hairy and flabby gut protruding and jiggling while walking down the street - regardless of gender. There are signs all over stating No Shirt - No Shoes - No Service. It isn’t like men are running around topless and brazen and without censure. And women who are pregnant and wedged into a too tight tee shirt stretching across their torsos so I can see their belly buttons from across the parking lot do not look good. They look rather like stuffed sausages.

What is wrong with people? Why is naked the same as free? What is going on with the world where underwear is supposed to hang out, whether its bras showing or boxer shorts on full display?

Perhaps pregnant women are in need of sexy lingerie, but it would seem to me they have proven they are already able to get some guy in the sack without the extra wisp of see-through fabric. Whether or not the mannequin should be in the shop window depends on who the woman is marketing to and for. If she is only selling maternity goods, then ticking off the old ladies with the expendable money shouldn’t worry her. If she hopes to sell to them, however, she might want to rethink her market strategy. If she is hoping to sell only to pregnant women, then … well, if I remember correctly when I was pregnant the last thing I really needed was a negligee. I was in far more need of a few maternity tops and pants that would go around my ever expanding waistline. - Patti



As I understand it, having Muslim friends (though secular, not devout), the reasoning behind the covering up of females has more to do with keeping modest for one’s family and husband. Just as one might dress in a more relaxed manner at home relative to how you would dress in public, so too is it for the Muslim woman. - Cassandra in New York
[Thanks for the correction.]



Now I just can’t see all this fuss! What is wrong with a pregnant woman wearing lingerie? Could you tell me that please? I mean, she apparently had sex to get pregnant, now that she is, is the man not supposed to want to be with her while she’s pregnant? If I were to be pregnant on my tenth year celebration of my marriage, would I not want to look nice for my husband/boyfriend, or who ever? What is wrong with people? Get a grip and realize that this stuff is all natural. That is simple enough. TC and remember, "Never ask for anyone to agree, only to consider". - From Patty, Celine Kitty, the Rowdy Dog, and the Tazz!



Re: Topless

Topless women. No problem for us guys. The problem I have is when a topless women objects to someone looking at her. Topless women want us to never ever acknowledge the fact that they are topless.

Khylea wrote: “The argument I’ve heard most often against allowing it is that it would be too arousing to see a bunch of women’s boobs”.

Who are these guys? Do you honestly think that Men object to seeing topless Women? We are all for it. It is women who are against it. The people you see most upset at a “clothing optional” beach are the women who choose not to go topless. They are pissed at the women who do. Guys have nothing but good things to say, other women are critical and judgmental.

It gets so old listening to the whining. Waa Waa Waa. We can’t go topless.

When you are topless, Waa Waa Waa. We are topless and people are looking at us. You are out in public; cover up if you don’t want someone seeing you.

Get a grip Dudes? No, grow up Gals. NEWSFLASH!!! If you are topless, people (men) will look at your chest. It’s your choice. The “urge” to look at something interesting or aesthetically pleasing isn’t a bad thing.

Khylea asks: “Is it MY fault, or the fault of any other woman on the planet that a woman’s chest is arousing?”

No its not. It is us guys fault that a women’s chest it arousing. No again. -Jerry in St Louis



There are a few things in life I don’t understand. Why a lady would fight for the right to engage in combat or go topless is just well, beyond my wildest desires. Still, if someone else wants to do it, well, I’ve written enough responses to RGQ for you not to be surprised that I think the gov’ment should take advantage of anyone who wants to risk her life for America, and should leave anyone alone who isn’t afraid of getting sunburn … gee that would smart … nevertheless … if she wants to, expose her girls … public scrutiny … it is her right. - Blushingly, Lucille



Faithy said, “I have always felt it was wrong that men could go topless and women could not.”

Khylea said, “I am female, and yes, I have felt for years that it’s discrimination that men can legally go topless and women can’t.”

My question for you is, do you feel this way because you want to go topless in public or do you feel this way simply because you don’t want to be told you can’t?

It’s been my experience that people are a lot more self conscience about their bodies than they let on. I think that, if given the chance, very few women would go topless. Maybe on the beach, but still I wouldn’t think it would be that many. Then when the wives quit letting their husbands go because they were looking, the beaches would have to adopt rules requiring tops. Better to have the few exhibitionist mad than the majority of your business staying away. So even if the laws are changed, or ignored, I don’t think we are going to be seeing a big change in this country. - Mike



Reader Submission

Okay, You guys like unanswerable questions — ponder this one and answer me this: Is it alright for an individual or group to press their view in an unrelated situation? Do made up ideas (all ideas/rights are made up by humans — there’s no such thing as an idea, existing free, in nature) trump all civil control? - Rob on an Island in a river near Sault Ste. Marie, Mi.
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Disclaimer- All quotes printed in this publication are believed to be accurately attributed, but no guarantees are made that some incorrectly attributed, or even outright false quotes won’t get in here from time to time.  I assure readers that I will do my best to weed out incorrect quotes, and will print a retraction as soon as I become aware of any errors.

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