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Greetings, Quotaholics:
I’ve
been lucky enough to have the opportunity to visit England twice in
my life. The first time in the early ‘80’s and again in the late
‘80’s.
Being an old hippy, England was, to me, all about the Carnaby
Street fashions of the 60’s and the music of what was called “The
British Invasion”. So it was a highlight of my visit to get
to walk down Carnaby Street and look in the shops.
It seemed like everywhere you went, people were friendly and went out
of their way to make sure you enjoyed your visit. The cab drivers would
slow down and point out interesting things for me to photograph. One
cab driver pretty much gave us a tour of London and pointed out the
ships on top of the lampposts that were replicas of Lord Nelson’s
fleet. He explained the ships were arranged so that Lord Nelson, atop
his column
in Trafalgar Square, could forever look upon the fleet.
Since my first visit I always said that if I could live anywhere else
in the world it would be England.
These days, however, I’m not so sure I would still feel that way.
Oh, I’m sure the people are still just as friendly, the villages
are still just as pretty, and the history and monuments just as grand.
But somewhere along the way the government seems to have lost it’s
mind!
These days England is referred to as the “Nanny State”.
Almost daily we read about new laws that have been passed to “protect”
it’s citizens. And almost daily we read about these laws being
taken to extremes. Like the recent story in the Times
of a house painter who was fined under the laws banning smoking in the
workplace because he was smoking in the van he drives to work. Seems
the local council official who stopped him determined his van was his
workplace.
But the most troubling thing I’ve read about England recently
involves a new law that allows council inspectors to enter private homes
anytime they want in order to inspect for a list of activities. Homeowners
who refuse entry will be fined.
An article in The
Sun reports that inspectors have been armed with more than a thousand
new laws to enforce.
“The checks include whether POT PLANTS have pests or imported
“passport” documents, or if HYPNOTISM is being practised
illegally.”
“Inspectors can demand to know if homeowners are keeping RABBITS.”
“Brits must also reveal if their HEDGE is too high under the AntiSocial
Behaviour Act, and whether their FRIDGE has the correct EU energy rating
under little-known Energy Information Household Refrigerators and Freezers
Regulations 2004.”
Between all the rules and regulations imposed by the EU, and the homegrown
rules, it appears that England is being swallowed in bureaucracy gone
wild. I don’t know if I could live where officials make no bones
about their power to enter your home anytime they want.
Is it as bad as it seems? Are we seeing just a few outlandish examples
of simple mistakes in enforcing rules, or is this the norm in England?
Have the bureaucrats been given so much power that it is too late, or
is there a chance that “merry ol’ England” can return
to normal some day? If this can happen in England, isn’t it just
a matter of time before this is the norm all over?
In a London fog,
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"There
is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line."
- Oscar Levant, American actor, pianist, and composer (1906-1972)
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"Every body continues in its
state of rest or uniform motion in a straight line, except insofar as
it doesn’t." - Sir Arthur Eddington, English astronomer, physicist
and mathematician (1882-1944)
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Bar Talk
Thanks to Bonnie in Louisiana]
Sitting in the bar
George asked Johnny, 40, "How come you are not married?"
Johnny: "I
haven’t found the right woman yet"
George: "So
what are you looking for?"
Johnny: "Oh
she’s got to be real pretty, - a good cook ‘n house keeper, - well
and she’s got to know how to handle money, - a really nice and pleasant
personality is a must, - and money, she’s got to have money, - and
a home, a nice big house, is what she has to have."
George: "A
woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU"
Johnny: "Oh
it’s okay, if she is crazy"
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“Wherever they burn books they will also, in the end, burn human beings.”
- Heinrich Heine, German poet and writer (1797-1856)
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“A friend you have to buy won’t be worth what you pay for him.” - George
Dennison Prentice, American newspaper editor, journalist, and writer (1802-1870)
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“Above the titles of wife and mother, which, although dear, are transitory
and accidental, there is the title human being, which precedes and out-ranks
every other.” - Mary Ashton Livermore, American social reformer (1820-1905)
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E-Mail
the Imp
Archeologists
and paleontologists
amaze the hell out of me. Just consider the magic they can work.
Finding a few shards of pottery, an old coin, and a piece of a village
wall with graffiti on it and the archeologist can paint a verbal picture
of the entire town and what it looked like. Find a few more artifacts
and the entire town can be reconstructed. At least it seems that way.
Finding a fossil fish imprint in a piece of shale, a footprint in eroded
sandstone, and fossilized bone fragments protruding from the sand and
the paleontologist can describe the climate and topography of the area
a few million years ago. At least it seems that way.
They rely a lot on what their predecessors have already discovered,
so the few “bricks” they have found for their “construction”
can be related to previous information. The archeologists have an easier
time of things since there is some written history and some oral history
that allow identifying discoveries and often even leads to discoveries.
Those fossil finders have a bit of a harder job in my opinion. They
find a handful of bones and have to decide if it is male or female/juvenile
or adult of a creature that has been previously discovered. If not,
they have to conceptualize an entire animal from a few pieces. That’s
akin to recreating something like the Empire State Building from a few
buckets of rock, metal scraps, and broken glass.
Comparing old bones to those of contemporary critters can give an idea
of size or how it may have moved about, but the rest is a SWAG (scientific
wild ass guess). Looking at ruins of prehistoric communities at least
there can be comparisons made to modern primitive and isolated populations
to understand similarities and make some valid assumptions on the purpose
of some artifacts.
Sometimes I wonder how much of what is found is erroneously identified
and categorized. How much of what is found is related to modern thoughts
and modern experience about what it appears to be. If we find sea shells
with holes apparently drilled in them, we automatically interpret that
as remnants of a necklace. We then assume that the makers had a sense
of art and all that means in a daily existence. Those shells could have
been used as fishing lures and if so almost everything in the way of
aesthetic traits ascribed to those ancient humans is bogus.
We find ancient burial sites and assume that the ancients had come to
be aware of religion and had compassion for their fallen comrades. It
could just as well have been due to the fact that the tribe had found
a good place to live and didn’t have to roam as much to find food.
They merely have started to bury the dead to keep their campsite from
smelling bad.
We assume that early man wore the pelts of animals for warmth. We could
have been as hairy as bears and not needed those pelts to keep warm.
We may have worn them to disguise ourselves so we could sneak up on
game more effectively. I personally believe we wore them so we didn’t
scare the game away. Those pelts could have disguised the smell of a
human who hadn’t had a bath in thirty years and was as hairy as
a bear. Phew!
I wonder what alien paleontologists would make of the remnants of human
civilization should we go extinct. (C’mon, just for the fun of
it assume that ET’s may exist and will come to visit the planet
for the first time 1,000,000 years after we’re gone.) Assume that
some objects would be buried and survive with very little degradation.
They would probably have no problems with things like buildings or bridges,
since I assume that form follows function in any civilization. They
might not even have a problem with ships and boats if their planet,
or others they have visited, had water. ^^
If they found all the artifacts pertaining to a symphony orchestra,
they may be able to puzzle out what the instruments were used for. If
the only musical instrument they found was a harp, and it was in an
old hunting lodge with a bow and arrow and a crossbow, it might throw
them for a loop.
Garbage land fills would be a cornucopia of artifacts and information,
but single objects with no associated pictures or related artifacts
would make it difficult to figure out its use. A pinball machine with
the cartoon picture of a Dolly Parton look-alike comes to mind. I bet
they’d really flip over a handful of military
challenge coins along with a few coins from several different countries
a veteran kept for souvenirs. How about a handful of loose tampons or
loose condoms? The mind boggles.
The Bad Sied 
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Speak
right up!
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On this day in history, July
28, 1958: Lord Jellicoe, member of the British House of Lords since July
25, 1939, gives his maiden speech. After 19 years of silence, he spoke
during the debate The International Situation: The Middle East.
He was not aligned with any particular political party when he spoke about
the Baghdad Pact and Iraq. Once he began talking, he became quite vocal,
even opening a debate the following July on Western Aid for Uncommitted
Countries.
George Patrick John Rushworth Jellicoe was the 2nd Earl Jellicoe signed
up at the first wartime intake at RMC Sandhurst, joining the ranks as
a cadet in 1939. He was commissioned into the Coldstream Guards in 1940
and sailed to the Middle East in 1941. He was mentioned in three dispatches
during this time and wounded once. By 1943 he was named Commander of the
Special Boat Regiment Middle East and made Lieutenant-Colonel.
For the rest of the war, he was involved in secret and dangerous missions
along the coasts of Italy and Yugoslavia.
After the war he served in the Foreign Service, stationed in various posts
around the world. He also served as a Cabinet Member from 1970 –
1973. He held a series of non-government jobs, positions of importance
in the business and academic worlds. He first sat in the House of Lords
in 1939 and served in that capacity until his death in 2007. He is one
of the longest serving parliamentarians in the world with 68 years of
service in the distinguished House. He was known as the Father of the
House of Lords from 1999 to 2007. He was succeeded by The Lord Carrington.
"Having lately lived for a year or so in Baghdad I confess that I
have not been untouched by the charm of that ugly yet fascinating city,
and, if I may say so, of the diverse peoples of Iraq… Like all your
Lordships, I felt, and feel, a deep sense of shock, indeed revulsion,
at the brutal butchery of the young King and his family, and of that great,
and greatly human, statesman, Nuri Pasha." – George Jellicoe,
from his first speech in the House of Lords
"Just as the Roman roads are with us to-day, so these great new roads
may be with our successors 1,000 years hence. With this in mind, can my
noble friend assure us, first, that the advice of the Advisory Committee
[on the Landscape Treatment of Trunk Roads] to which he referred will
in all cases in future be sought at a very early stage in the planning
of these new roads ; and, secondly, that permanent professional advice
will be enlisted from the outset at the planning, the reconnaissance stage,
in order to ensure that these great new roads blend as harmoniously as
possible with the land-scape through which they pass?" – George
Jellicoe
"Lord Jellicoe… has been as good a leader of this House as we have
known." - Lord Shackleton
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Email
Kirsten
"’You are
drunk Sir Winston, you are disgustingly drunk.’ ‘Yes, Mrs. Braddock,
I am drunk. But you, Mrs. Braddock are ugly, and disgustingly fat. But,
tomorrow morning, I, Winston Churchill will be sober.’"
~ Winston Churchill ~
Five
years ago I was going to make an apple pie. I bought the canned pie
apples, ready-made pastry crusts, and some cinnamon crumbly stuff to
sprinkle over the top. Like many good intentions, however, this plan
kind of fell by the wayside. Shortly after I bought the ingredients,
we moved, and since the kitchen in our new place was being redone, I
wasn’t able to make the pie. By the time the kitchen was complete,
I was seven months pregnant and Wobbling like a Weeble. I was not motivated
to stand around in the summer heat baking pies. I was far more motivated
to go to the store and buy a pie, which given my baking skills, is probably
what I should have done in the first place.
And so the ingredients were unpacked and put at the back of a hard-to-reach
kitchen cupboard, where they were forgotten about until this past weekend.
In a sudden burst of domesticity, I decided to clean out the kitchen
cupboards, and I unearthed the canned pie apples and the ready-made
pastry crusts. I would have expected the pastry crusts to look a bit
– well, crusty. They’ve been sitting in a cupboard for five
years, not refrigerated or anything. I would have thought there would
at least be a little bit of mould or something. But the pastry crusts
looked as if I had bought them yesterday. Five million years from now,
archeologists will discover our long-lost civilization, and those pie
crusts will still be perfectly preserved.
Finding the pie crusts led me one of my trains of thought that make
me wonder about the safety of the products we buy. For instance, I have
discovered that baby wipes can clean up anything. Magic marker on walls,
red wine stains on carpets, food stains on clothing. The wipes will
clean them all up pretty quickly, without even leaving a stain. On the
one hand, I think I will continue to keep wipes around even after diapers
are gone from my life forever. On the other hand, some pretty intense
cleaning agents must be in those wipes, which regularly come into contact
with my child’s skin. In the case of the pie crusts, I got to
wondering what on earth they make them out of for them to be so durable.
I haven’t researched the question of the baby wipes yet, but I
do know that the pie crusts are a cause for concern. You see, over 100
years ago, someone discovered a way to add hydrogen to liquid oil at
very high temperatures. This process results in a semi-solid substance
known to the world as trans
fat. The trans fat is added to processed foods and many baked goods
to keep them fresh for a longer time.
Now, unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last three
years or so, you will know that trans fats are a Bad Thing. Research
has shown that an individual’s risk of coronary heart disease
roughly doubles for every 2% increase of trans fat calories consumed.
This is because trans fats lower the levels of High Density Lipoprotein
(HDL or “good cholesterol”) while simultaneously raising
the levels of Low Density Lipoprotein (LDL or “bad cholesterol”).
This can lead to clogged arteries and heart attacks, neither of which
are very nice.
Trans fat intake has been weakly linked with other medical conditions
as well, although the jury is still out on most of them. Ongoing studies
are examining a possibly link between trans fats and some cancers, such
as prostate cancer and breast cancer. Some studies have established
a connection between trans fats and Type Two Diabetes, but an equal
number of studies has claimed that there is no link once total fat intake
is accounted for. The same goes for obesity. It has been suggested that
people who consume trans fats become obese more quickly than people
who don’t, but it is possible that this is just a question of
too many fat calories being consumed.
Many governments have issued warnings or outright bans on trans fats.
We cannot leave it all to the government, though. There are things
we can do to reduce our consumption of this very harmful substance:
- Be aware of the nutrition information on product packaging. Some manufacturers
will try to hide the fact that they use trans fats by using the terms
“partially hydrogenated” or “vegetable oil shortening”
instead. Both of those phrases are just fancy ways of saying “trans
fats”.
- Avoid ordering deep-fried food at restaurants and steer clear of processed
foods.
- Eat lots of fresh fruit and veggies. They contain no trans fats, and
your mother was right when she said they’re good for you.
- Bake your own stuff from scratch instead of relying on prepackaged
mixes and ready-made pie crusts. Use soft non-hydrogenated margarine
instead of that hard margarine that you need a jackhammer to break.
Finally, be aware that a product can be trans fat free, but still loaded
with other kinds of fat, or sodium (salt), or a variety of other evils.
We humans tend to get stuck on the health craze de jour. Right now,
the focus is on trans fats. We need to be aware of our diets as a whole,
and educate ourselves on what we are putting into our bodies.
Kaleidoscopically
yours,
Kirsten
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Some of the Best
of Tim
You’ve all heard of the term "to die of embarrassment".
I know this because you just read it. It basically means that you
did something so embarrassing you thought you were going to die.
An Ethiopian
woman had a problem: she thought her husband spent too much money
on booze. It was such a problem that they had fights about it. Finally,
she was so upset with him she refused to serve him dinner and decided
to sleep alone. He didn’t take kindly to that affront and decided
she deserved a beating.
That’s when she
decided to take things into her own hands. Guys, you might want to
skip this next part, and ladies, please try to control the snickers.
What this woman did was grab the guy’s family jewels and give them
a twist. Okay, that might be just a little mild. It would probably
be more accurate to say she grabbed his nuts and gave them a violent
wrenching. I cringe just typing that.
Guys cherish
these things. We protect them like they were eggs, simply because
the force needed to crack an egg could incapacitate us for several
minutes. Any guy that says he has never cried is either lying or has
never gotten a good shot in the gonads. The pain is indescribable.
Generally it only lasts a few minutes, though.
Not so with this
guy. The pain lasted for days. Now if it was me and someone had yanked
at my testicles that hard, I’d probably do something about it, like,
oh, I don’t know, maybe seek medical attention. Not this guy, he was
embarrassed by this particular problem, and didn’t even see the doctor
when they still hurt the next day. Or the day after. He eventually
got over his embarrassment a few days later, though.
He died. Of embarrassment.
Tim a’Musing
Having a Ball With Yarns
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When separating eggs, break them into a funnel. The whites will go through
leaving the yolk intact in the funnel. - Peggy in Tonawanda, New York
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I
thought that last line had potential, too!
Next opening line…
Before I die I want to try…
Hints:
Here’s a great new rhyming/composition tool. http://www.writerhymes.com/
There’s also a great rhyming dictionary at http://www.rhymezone.com/
Limerick rules. http://freespace.virgin.net/merrick.sheldon/limerickrules.htm
Submit
Opening Line
Submit
Limerick
I just got a new pet
gazelle,
Which, at first, I thought was swell.
But it runs by so fast,
My stamina is surpassed.
Now, I believe it’s the creature from Hell. - Bonnie in Louisiana |
I just got a new pet
gazelle…
And a shiney new gnu as well
From sweet little Ellen
But she wasn’t tellin’
How their crap would make my life a hell. - Lola |
I
just got a new pet gazellle
Will it work? It’ll take time to tell
He pooped on the floor,
did it more, more and more
and now my house has a horrid smell. - Cassandra in New
York |
There’s
one thing I’d like to take back
It has to do with my friend Jack
I was really seething
couldn’t help my breathing
when I killed him with one good whack. - Cassandra in New York |
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Re: Balls of Brass
This has been going on for ages. A couple of remembered bits- The Press
made a big deal when Congress alloted half a million dollars to upgrade
the Officer’s Club at Wright Patterson Air Force Museum a few years ago,
but the place was renovated anyway.Didja know there are even separate
18 hole golf courses for Officers and NCO’s at many bases?
When my son was serving ( he was an NCO) and stationed at FE Warren AFB
in Wyoming, I paid a visit. The Parade Grounds has a very significant
big area that is well watered while the rest is dried almost dead grass.
Why, I asked. So the Officers can hold Polo Matches on the Parade Grounds.
Polo Matches? I asked. Yeah, their string of Polo Ponies are in those
barns back there. And don’t overlook the fleet of Officers’boats in the
marina at Annapolis. They have a sail loft there as part of the Academy,
and few of the sails made ( at tax payer expense) are used on training
ships.
On any military base Officers are housed in far better quarters than the
row apartments and houses afforded to enlisted personnel, and they are
also separated from the enlisted area, often have large, well maintained
( by enlisted and civilian people) lawns and gardens. Regular soldiers
and sailors have to keep their own tiny patches to rigid standards or
be docked pay.
The gap between the two parts of our military forces has always been there.
It’s way beyond Rank Hath Its Privledges! They are a separate government
within the country with their own police, laws, and courts, and their
"country"is Ruled by the elite, Obedience required by the rank
and file. That’s the major reason for Basic Training - to retrain the
brain to obey without question.Been there, seen it.My flag flies at half
staff only for enlisted men who die serving us. Desk Colonels and Generals
aren’t worthy of such honors. - Nancy L in Ohio
When I was on
active duty I often upset the “Officer Corps” by stating that
too much emphasis was put on “leadership” training and not
enough on “followship” training.
Once out of Boot Camp the only training is leadership, and that’s
for the enlisted. Officers are all about leadership. The training however
is all about the how and why of closing with and defeating the enemy,
nothing about the followship and leadership involved in the responsibilities
and duties between seniors and juniors.
Even in the Marine Corps that holds true, officially. Unofficially however
we are taught that the welfare of the juniors come first. The troops eat
first…the troops are bedded down first…Officers and Staff
NCO’s pound it into each others brains so we don’t forget.
I will admit that there are perks for seniority…a General Officers
office is a bit more posh than a Privates office space…but not in
a deployed or combat situation. They do have to meet with civic and business
leaders who expect something more than a lightly padded steel folding
chair. Even the Army and the Navy, to a lesser degree, follow the same
principle.
The Air Farce, excuse me, Air Force seems to have forgotten their Army
origins and created their own elitist idea of perks and troop welfare
requirements. I personally think Rep Murtha is a sack of lying crap who
has no authority to order the Pentagon to do anything as a mere member
of Congress, but at least his outrage was proper for a tax payer and a
member of Congress. The Air Force brass involved should spend a little
time in hack over this, or at least some time living in the enlisted men’s
environment. - sied
Reader Submission
Watch this you won’t be sorry, I promise, and it is completely safe. I
got it off the official NASA website, sortof. The exact URL is http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/ap080722.html
I have personally watched this clip at least a dozen times or more. I
find it impossible to do so without a smile on my face. Makes me want
to dance! ENJOY! - Grammie Sammie
[That
was fun. Thanks.]
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Disclaimer- All quotes printed in this publication are believed to be accurately
attributed, but no guarantees are made that some incorrectly attributed,
or even outright false quotes won’t get in here from time to time.
I assure readers that I will do my best to weed out incorrect quotes, and
will print a retraction as soon as I become aware of any errors. |
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