Really Good Quotes

Archive for May, 2008

May 28, 2008

Wednesday, May 28th, 2008

Really Good Quotes "A mind, once expanded by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Greetings, Quotaholics:

I sometimes feel guilty bringing up anything to do with traffic enforcement, but I feel it’s important to make people see the bigger picture. A lot of you have started emailing me articles and links, which demonstrates at least that I’m not alone in seeing a lot of what is done in the name of safety is in reality done for money.

The latest story to get my dander up comes from right here in California. TheNewspaper.com has reported on something I wasn’t aware of.

According to the article, Governor Schwartzenegger has signed a new law prohibiting cities and counties from making guilty verdict bonus payments to the for-profit companies that provide parking ticket adjudication services.

What? I didn’t even know such a thing was going on!

It seems that a number of cities throughout the state hire a private companies that cover every aspect of parking enforcement from the writing of tickets to holding trials and enforcing collections. In these cities, a company provides “hearing officers” that determine the validity of tickets issued by the same company’s own meter maids.

State Assemblyman Chuck DeVore (R-Irvine) said that he introduced this legislation to restore some fairness in the ticketing process.

“There is a conflict of interest when a parking enforcement company hired by a city acts as the judge, jury, and executioner when distributing violations,” DeVore said in a statement Thursday. “If a company profits from distributing a greater number of parking infractions, there is no incentive to act justly by allowing for a fair appeals process.”

DeVore’s original intention was to forbid this arrangement entirely, but state senators blocked this effort. The weakened measure now only prevents companies from enjoying a financial bounty based upon the number of guilty verdicts rendered.

What do you think of this arrangement? Is it reasonable or outrageous? Who wins and who loses under this setup?

Time Expiredly,

Isn’t it worth $1 a month to you to keep RGQ going? Please click the link and direct your contribution to reallygoodquotes@yahoo.com.

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play. Bring a friend… if you have one.” - George Bernard Shaw, to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second…if there is one.” - Winston Churchill, in response

“Man blames fate for other accidents but feels personally responsible for a hole in one.” - Martha Beckman

The Insurance Policy
[Thanks to Bonnie in Louisiana]

Jill was discussing the various aspects and possible outcome of her insurance policy with the man at the insurance agency.

During the discussion, she asked, “Suppose I take the life insurance for my husband today and tomorrow he dies. What will I get?”

The agent eyed her suspiciously and replied, “Probably a life sentence.”

“Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.” - Will Durant, American writer and historian (1885-1981)

“Truth always originates in a minority of one, and every custom begins as a broken precedent. - Will Durant, American writer and historian (1885-1981)

Ouch!

E-Mail the Imp

There’s no doubt that releasing lots greenhouse gasses into the atmosphere, more than occurs due to natural causes, isn’t a good idea. In the normal course of events nature puts a certain amount of these various gasses into the atmosphere by itself and the world has survived fairly well for a few billion years.

There’s a “built in” set of checks and balances and although we have had hot spells and cold spells over the last four billion years, the Earth has remained habitable. Dumping more gasses into the atmosphere than nature normally does can’t be good. It is yet to be determined how much damage humans can do, but it could upset the balance of nature.

In an attempt to regulate mans interference with this natural process, laws are passed and regulations are put into place to control vehicle and industrial emissions, use of CFC’s, and clear cutting of forest land. Putting regulations in place concerning nature’s production of greenhouse gasses is just stupid. That could be as stupid as fining the State of Hawaii X number of dollars every day the Kilauea Volcano vents toxic gasses; or Greenland X number of dollars for the volume of fresh water lowering the salinity of the ocean.

Estonia isn’t worried about that, or else the government just needs extra income. They’ve slapped farmers with a fart tax on cattle. That’s right, a fart tax on cattle; to compensate the country for the methane gas produced by cows.

Al Gore will be proud of this action and will probably recommend the US start taxing Bubba and his buddies for all those beer and rib BBQ’s. In particular he’ll target BBQ’s that are formal. Those are the ones with side dishes, like baked beans, deviled eggs, and broccoli casserole.

The Bad Sied

Click here for guidelines on 15 Minutes submissions

Sue is one of my earliest readers. Those who have been around for a while will remember a 15 Minutes piece she sent back in 2004, which I still think was the most moving submission I’ve ever run. I predicted then that I’d never forget it, and I haven’t.

She’s dealing with the passing of her father now, and has decided to share her thoughts and feelings with all of us. Thanks, Sue. It’s another memorable 15 Minutes of Fame. I just wish the circumstances had been better.

My dad died last Sunday, which was a shock, and very bad timing as I had just been admitted to hospital with one of these super hospital buggies that like to eat you up. I had had a hysterectomy the week before and caught the bug then. The biggest problem is that I am 3000 miles away from home in Turkey. My family are all in Liverpool England. I have written an eulogy and emailed it home. I would like to share it with my good quotes friends. My dad and the names of family and friends have not been changed so that everyone can appreciate the good people I know.

MY DAD

Many years ago I wrote some words about a much loved uncle who had died. These words touched my father and he asked me if I would write for him when his time came. A promise I didn’t want to make but a promise I must fulfil.

John Devine was a man with a firm character, who you could depend upon come rain or shine. He had his principles which he didn’t shove down anyone’s throat but would stick to when he had to. A man who was friend to many and enemy to none.

My dad though, was more than this. When I first met his two sisters Jennifer and Diane, they shone. Like someone had set off a big light inside them! They had a confidence and eager outlook that made them ( in my ten year old eyes) seem like adventurers from the films on TV, It was only later when I had my own shine that I realised that My dad did this. He had a way of showing you how to learn; of showing you a path that you could follow that would lead you where ever you wanted. He also showed you that he expected no less than your best attempt. Success was in the journey. failure did not exist.

As well as offering this part of himself to his much loved nephews Robert Darren and Fred , He continued his magic with my daughters, Sarah and Jessica, sowing in them a need for knowledge and its journey, and an ability to see the valuable in every lesson that life brings us. My dad’s gift of listening to a child’s question has helped more of us than he will ever know. I owe my gift and love of teaching to John Devine.

When he got older and was beset by illness some of that shine he gave out was returned to him by two bright buttons called Adam and Erin, who will never really know how much of a part they played in keeping him with us so long. Two new minds ready to be opened kept him occupied in a way that nothing else could. I thank them and their parents Sandra and Denis for being the latest addition to our family. Sandra has been a daughter to John and Dolly in a way I never could.

While talking about John the man who makes people shine it is easy to forget that he was a passionate man. He loved Dolly with a passion that is rare. You could glimpse, if you were lucky, a look on his face while he watched Dolly having fun. That look said it all. He loves her. You could tell in the tender care or grumpy instructions that the most valuable person in the world was Dolly.

All of us who knew John Devine are sorry at his going but we have been so dam lucky to have been part of his journey through life. - Sue (UK)

On this day in history, May 28, 1999: After 21 years of restorative work, Leonardo da Vinci’s The Last Supper is placed back on display. The painting was made on dry plaster rather than wet, so it is not a true fresco. A fresco cannot be modified as the artist works. Da Vinci therefore sealed a stone wall with pitch, gesso, and mastic (two types of resins and a chalky substance) and then painted with tempura, a type of paint made by mixing the color in an egg medium. Because of the method used, the mural began to deteriorate quickly after completion.

The painting is 15 feet by 29 feet (460 cm x 880 cm) and was painted on the back walls of the dining hall at Santa Maria della Grazie in Milan, Italy during the years 1495-1498. As early as 1517, the paint was flaking. By 1556 the work was described as “ruined” and the figures deemed unrecognizable. In 1652 a doorway was cut through the wall, further damaging the mural and has been bricked up again. There have been many restorations, beginning in 1726. The building itself sustained damage, being bombed during World War II.

By the late 1970s, the mural was in terrible shape. For 21 years (1978-1999) Pinin Brambilla Barcilon led a major restoration project. Since it was not possible to move the artwork, the venue itself was altered to produce a controlled environment to protect the work. The use of infrared reflectoscopy and microscopic core samples along with original sketches guided the restoration. The painting can now be viewed by appointment only and the visitor is permitted to stay for only 15 minutes.

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”

“Art is never finished, only abandoned.”

“Where there is shouting, there is no true knowledge.” – all from Leonardo da Vinci

Email Kirsten

“I don’t have pet peeves, I have whole kennels of irritation”
~ Whoopi Goldberg ~

Everyone has their pet peeves – things that make them want to dive into the nearest dentist’s chair for a good, solid root canal. Even Mother Theresa, rest her soul, probably had a list of things that made her want to bang her head on a brick wall. Very often, the levels of annoyance that we experience are not even close to being proportional to the events that cause them. But if we were reasonable one hundred percent of the time, life would be pretty boring, and there would be far fewer interesting conversations.

In this column, I have spoken at some length about stress, but I haven’t really said a lot about what stresses people out. For that reason, and also because I’ve had to spend my time preparing a work presentation rather than researching a “real” topic, I thought I’d share some of the things that, in my Dad’s words, really get my goat.

Here are ten of my favourite Pet Peeves, in no particular order:
- The exceedingly annoying Windows XP pop-up message saying, “You have chosen to end a non-responsive program”. What wet-behind-the-ears geek came up with that? I didn’t choose to end squat. If my Internet browser stops responding and generally brings my computer to a grinding halt, what am I supposed to do? Sit there and stare at it until I see dark spots dancing in front of my eyes?
- Packaging that is ten times the size of the product. My cellphone, which fits into the palm of my hand, came in a box that you could launch a small rocket off. In Toronto, you pay extra to have larger amounts of garbage collected. Can’t the package-deciding guys work with us to reduce our costs, never mind the impact to the environment?
- Packaging that you need an engineering degree to open. Call me old-fashioned, but I think we should be able to buy a product, take it home, rip off the packaging, and use the product. The other day, I realized that I needed a pair of scissors, so I went out and bought some. When I got home, I couldn’t open the packaging. Do you know why? Because I didn’t have scissors other than the ones that were inside the packaging.
- People who take up the entire bench in the locker room at the gym, so I don’t have anywhere to put my bag. It’s not that these people have a lot of stuff. They just don’t believe in the concept of putting things into piles, so they lay it out horizontally instead. If you ask them to clear a little bit of space for you, they look at you as if you’re a bug with rabies.
- People who stand so close behind you in grocery store lineups that you can feel their breath on the back of your neck. These are the same people who load their groceries onto the conveyer belt thingie right behind your groceries, without even leaving a gap. They are also people with severe B.O. or halitosis.
- Barney the Dinosaur. Do I really have to explain?
- Teabags in the sink. This is Spousal Complaint #1. When my husband cleans out the teapot, he leaves the used teabags in the sink. I don’t know why it bothers me so much, but no amount of talking to him solves the problem.
- Cupboard doors that are left open. Spousal Complaint #2. My husband can open cupboards, and he can remove things from them. But for some reason, he cannot close the cupboards. I frequently walk into the kitchen to find every single cupboard open, like some kind of bizarre life-sized advent calendar.
- The fact that hairdressers charge twice as much to cut a woman’s hair as they do to cut a man’s hair. I asked a hairdresser about this, and she said that women’s hair is “more complicated” to cut because it’s longer. So I asked what happens if a man with long hair shows up, and she said he’d be charged the lower rate. I asked what happens if a woman with short hair shows up, and she said she’d be charged the higher rate. I think it has nothing to do with complication, and everything to do with the fact that women are vain enough about their hair to pay anything for it to look nice.
- Chain emails that have a blurb at the end saying that if you don’t forward this right away to seven hundred of your closest friends, you’re a heartless witch who doesn’t care about the starving children in Africa. On the other hand, if you send it to a million people within the next seven seconds, something wonderful will happen in a number of minutes, calculated by how old you are divided by the number of chin hairs you have.

Anyone care to add to the list? Maybe we can have an award for the most imaginative pet peeve.

Kaleidoscopically yours,
Kirsten

The thing that I love most about my job, outside of the construction going on right next to my server room, are the “I need it now!” calls. We have a form in our office that you fill out should you request a report from us. The form basically gives us a week to clarify what is needed, and another week to actually start performing the work on the report and determine an anticipated completion date, which we reserve the right to adjust.

I don’t think anyone has used one in about 10 years. They call me and say “I need a list of students who are Biology majors and took BIO 203 in 2004 and subsequently took CHEM 203 sent to me in an Excel spreadsheet with their name, address, phone number, and e-mail address,” and I’ll tell them to hold on for a sec. I like whistling into the phone when I have to wait for the computer to spit out the data, then I tell them to check their e-mail.

Sometimes I can’t do that because I’m in the middle of a game of FreeCell and have to concentrate. Or it may be a really complicated report, like our registration cards. I run them every year, so of course I saved the program. But every year our Registrar changes both the selection and sort. But then she throws in her own little “twist”, to make things fair. That twist is random as noted in the program, and every time I have to change the program I reserve a solid day for it. I’ve asked her for years to give me that request at least a week in advance. She then started telling me when to expect the request so I could reserve a day for it. It was better, but not perfect.

So we bought a new computer system so students could register online. I know this because I went to school in Virginia (where there was an ice storm both times, if I haven’t mentioned that before) and I’m the one that gets to make this web registration thing work. And it does on my test server. I figured I’d never see that report request again.

On or about April 1st, she came down with it. I explained to her that she didn’t need it. Students would be able to register online. She said she didn’t want them to do that. *blink*

I explained to her that she didn’t reserve a day, and I didn’t have one to spare. She insisted that the college’s existence depended on me printing these cards, and she needed them in 2 days. I explained to her that I was booked for those two days, and she’d be lucky if I were able to even look at her request for 3 days. I suggested she modify the report to take out the *twist*, as this would be absolutely the last time she will ever need these, and nobody else notices the twist and wouldn’t miss it. She insisted that she needed the cards in two days, with the twist. I told her good luck getting them. She didn’t use our “official form”.

What makes these people think they can deal with a Prick like me and win?

Tim a’Musing
Having a Ball with Yarns

A jar lid or a couple of marbles in the bottom half of a double-boiler will rattle when the water gets low and warn you to add more before the pan scorches or burns. - Peggy in Tonawanda, New York

Still on a roll!

Next opening line…
My wife (hub) and I just made a bet…

Hints: There’s a great rhyming dictionary at http://www.rhymezone.com/
Limerick rules. http://freespace.virgin.net/merrick.sheldon/limerickrules.htm

Submit Opening Line
Submit Limerick

I really thought I’d seen it all… The short, the fat, the lean, the tall. But for a forest, some bees, Animals and trees, The missed ones, I guess, caused my fall. - Cliff in Cincinnati	I really thought I’d seen it all… From gowns and tuxes at a ball, From Brittany to rappers From Paris to Clappers You see it all at the Mall. - Cliff in Cincinnati
I really thought I’d seen it all… But xrays aren’t really that tall Inside you’ll see From ankle to knee What was broken in that last fall. - Cliff in Cincinnati	I really thought I’d seen it all… Flowers in spring and leaves in fall. But never, I swear, Had I seen such a pair As redwoods trees are so tall! - Cliff in Cincinnati
I really thought I’d seen it all The long, the short, and the tall. But the man that passed by Giving me a wink of the eye, Made clear this was a port of call. - Bonnie in Louisiana	I really thought I’d seen it all… when the sky just started to fall… The buildings did swerve they swung left, then they curved and I didn’t know who I should call. - Cassandra in New York
I really thought I’d seen it all A midget that was too tall, I’ve seen a rogue cop Make a rolling stop. But a crowd that was too small? - Anne Onimous	I really thought I’d seen it all When I heard a thunderstorm squall Seen a front porch swing Heard a diamond ring But I’ve never seen a prat fall. - Anne Onimous
I really thought I’d seen it all A sailor who was AWOL The door that was a jar Birds drink at a crowbar But I’ve not seen a game of goofball. - Anne Onimous	I really thought I’d seen it all When the last time I went to the mall, I saw Britney walk by And showed more than her thigh . . . . On second thought, I did see it all. - E. Cole Aye
I really thought I’d seen it all When for fish I decided to trawl. But I caught my limit (Also got a ticket) When I snagged a big, white narwhal. - E. Cole Aye	I really thought I’d seen it all When Julius Caesar entered Gaul Asked how it got its name He said, “It’s very plain It was named for Charles de Gaulle.” - E. Cole Aye
I really thought I’d seen it all When I saw that fool near the seawall. That soggy, crazy serf Had a wish to surf In advance of the approaching squall. - E. Cole Aye	I really thought I’d seen it all When the senator under the stall Repeatedly tapped his foot. His career went kaput. Who knew foot taps could cause a downfall. - E. Cole Aye
I really thought I’d seen it all A flight where we flew au natural. Don’t stand there aghast Security was fast. No carry ons. The trip did enthrall. - E. Cole Aye	I really thought I’d seen it all: During my trek to Nepal, I saw a big yeti Serving spaghetti Until he melted like a snowball. - E. Cole Aye
I really thought I’d seen it all When to home from the bar I did crawl. I saw pink elephants Doing aerial stunts Much after that, I don’t recall. - E. Cole Aye	A salesman had knocked on my door: To sell me Thing One, Thing Two and Thing Four. “But what about Three?” I asked. He told me, “Thing Three is too hard to control.” - Lola - better late than never, eh?
My kid brought me home a surprise A basket of cookies and pies I longed with dismay. I can’t eat them, no way. They’d just become fat on my thighs. - Lola	My kid brought me home a surprise - He’s been trying to fish for walleyes To catch for a meal. Too much of an ordeal, The fish came from a Long John’s Franchise. - E. Cole Aye
My French doctor said he’d never seen Anything that was so obscene As eating a saltine With French cuisine Then drinking wine from a canteen. - Anne Onimous	My doctor said he’d never seen A movie on the silver screen. He has a DVD And a big screen TV And sits in a chair that is clean. - Anne Onimous
My doctor said he’d never seen A coffee with such strong caffeine. “But then it’s no wonder I made a big blunder My coffee cup does contain benzene.” - Anne Onimous	My doctor said he’d never seen Such a bad case of gangrene. Then he really vented “Could have been prevented If you only had better hygiene.” - E. Cole Aye

Re: Kirsten and Sugar, Sugar

I thought I remembered 16 calories per teaspoon of sugar so I looked it up. It was 15. Kirsten looked up tablespoon, rather than teaspoon.

The safety of artificial sweeteners is touted by the makers of artificial sweeteners. Others, not so much. The first article refers to aspartame and this one refers to sucralose or Splenda. I’ve read that artificial sweeteners actually help one gain weight. They are hypersweet and so the dieter does not really taste natural sweetness. They also leave an aftertaste that seems to help in the ingestion of more calories.

Eating too much of anything is bad for you. For only 15 calories per teaspoon, I wouldn’t risk the chemicals mixed up in a lab. When aspartame first came out it was said to be dangerous for children under five. My children were never permitted to drink anything with artificial sweeteners in it. If it was dangerous at age 4, then it might be at age 6 or even age 10 or even the age I am now. – Patti, RN

Re: Morehouse

Not long ago, when racism and prejudice were more overt and more acceptable behaviors, I believe that Morehouse University was a place where black people could go to excel and celebrate their achievements without being held back, unrecognized because of race. Although I have never been to Morehouse, I would have been honored to be accepted.

That said, I believe this country is in a state of change. Many races are learning to live together and actually appreciate each others’ ethnic differences, where before there was explicit, as well as tacit separatism. This is the point where people always overcompensate. It is the midpoint. People are shifting from the view of a white-male dominated society to a more inclusive attitude toward other races and women. That is a wonderful thing to see. It’s like watching a butterfly emerge. I believe that overcompensation is idiotic, but it seems to be human nature.

I believe in diversity. I cannot imagine going to a college that was purely one race. I went to college for an education in many things to prepare me for a real-life experience, and the only way to really experience what is in this world is to diversify yourself. I believe that what Vinson Muhammad said was a wrong-headed statement. However, that was his view.

Notice that the media never reports on what the average, every day, middle-class person has to say. They always pick the most outrageous and the most idiotic statements to focus upon. Outrage sells. Don’t paint all people of any race with one broad brush based on media coverage. You will always be wrong.

Black people can be just as prejudiced as white people. I have heard horrendous, prejudicial statements from both sides. I am a listener. You would be surprised at what you would hear if you would just listen without always speaking.

I find the statement quoted from Mr. Sterling Hudson to be a bit insulting to women. He said the school had a “rich history of producing African-American male leaders.” I guess the women are just there for show. I’m certainly not going to get my undies in a knot about it, though. Everyone has an opinion. Ignore the ones you think are stupid. Embrace the ones you think are insightful. Give serious consideration the ones you are ambivalent about.

Racist comments are not acceptable from any race. Racist views and actions should be denounced upon any occasion. This nation thrives on the diverse views and knowledge of people of many races. We just need to learn how to stop overcompensating for everything. That’s my opinion - Ranina

Reader Submission - Global Warming

Hi Bruce/Mike–here’s another web site on global “warming” that had some interesting info– Ruth in Washington

Reader submission

I got that picture of the statue of liberty formed by soldiers from the First World War era. It is stunning and I’ve seen it before. What was different was that it came with a link. There are many more pictures. This is fabulous. I had no idea that people were this creative. - Patti

Disclaimer- All quotes printed in this publication are believed to be accurately attributed, but no guarantees are made that some incorrectly attributed, or even outright false quotes won’t get in here from time to time. I assure readers that I will do my best to weed out incorrect quotes, and will print a retraction as soon as I become aware of any errors.

Click here to see the archives of past issues, or go to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/reallygoodquotes/messages. If you run across something really outstanding when perusing the archives, I’d appreciate it if you’d mail me at TheBestOfRGQ@yahoo.com and point it out to me. I’m in the process of compiling an e-book called, not surprisingly, The Best of RGQ, and I’d like to hear from you which pieces impacted you the most.

Questions? Comments? Want to contribute a joke or a quote or an image? Feel free to e-mail at reallygoodquotes@yahoo.com. We’d love to hear from you! We’ll even publish your comments, if they make any sense!

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