|
|
|
|
|
Greetings, Quotaholics:
I’m
in a funny mood tonight. Sort of whimsical…and lazy.
I ran across something that I thought would be interesting and
lighthearted tonight, and the best part is that somebody else
wrote it so I don’t have to.
I saw a reprint of a 1961 Australian magazine article on what
life would be like in 2000, 39 years later. I thought it
was cool with those old-fashioned ads along the border, and I
got a kick out of some of the predictions. So, without further
ado, here’s the 1961 view of the future.
Wasn’t that fun?
I wasn’t quite as lazy as you might have thought, though.
I did take the time to count the predictions and figure just how
many the author got right. By my count, there were a total
of 69 predictions.
Some
were quite accurate, some completely off base, and some that are
open to interpretation. Here’s how it tabulated out.
Accurate 32/69 46%
Inaccurate 38/69 55%
Debatable 3/69 4%
Since
debatable would be at least partly true, lumped together with
the accurate we get
Accurate
35/69 50.7%
Inaccurate 34/69 49.3%
That’s a coin toss.
Yet some remarkable ideas have been spawned by science fiction,
such as geostationary satellites that always appear to be in the
same place in the sky even though the earth continues to rotate,
credited to Arthur Clarke, later of 2001, a Space Odyssey
fame.
In fact, the orbital belt above the equator and at 22,300 miles
where a satellite must be parked in order for this to occur, is
called the “Clarke Belt” by mainstream science in his honor.
I started writing tonight not knowing where I was going to end
up, a rarity for me, but here I am, poised at the end with nowhere
to go. So I’ll leave you without questions to ponder.
I’ll let you guys figure out what you want to say about all this.
Unpreparedly,
|
| |
|
| Isn’t
it worth $1 a month to you to keep RGQ going? Please click
the link and direct your contribution to reallygoodquotes@yahoo.com.
|
| |
“Man can believe the impossible, but can never believe the improbable.”
- Oscar Wilde
|
|
“Consistency is the last refuge
of the unimaginative.” - Oscar Wilde
|
|
“A modest little person, with
much to be modest about.” - Winston Churchill
|
| |
Blind Date
[Thanks to Bonnie in Louisiana]
“That was
nice of you to set up a blind date for your ex-boyfriend.”
“I know, but
I don’t hold any grudges.”
“I’m surprised
he trusted you enough to agree to go out with her.”
“Well, I had
to swear to him she’s Jennifer Lopez’s double.”
“Wow! Is that
true?”
“I wouldn’t
lie. She’s twice her weight and twice her age!”
|
|
| |
“A man said to the universe: `Sir, I
exist!’
However,’ replied the universe, `The fact has not created in me
a sense of obligation.’” - Stephen Crane, American short-story writer,
novelist and poet (1871-1900)
|
“There are four boxes
for use in the defense of liberty; soap, ballot, jury, and ammo…to
be used in that order.” – Anonymous
|
|
|
| |
|
| |
| |
| |
E-Mail
the Imp
The
French are a bunch of tight asses. Though I’ve had my doubts about
the French for years, I haven’t expressed an opinion in writing
and still don’t. My opening line is an observation surmised from
a book, “Le
Grand Ménage”, or, “The Grand Cleaning”, by Dr. Frédéric Saldmann.
I surmised that since the author says that the French should “dare
to fart.” Getting rid of the two liters of gas produced each day
is a “natural process” and retaining it can be harmful to the
intestines he says. Hey cher, pull my finger!
Dr. Saldmann also encourages the French to belch, to prevent heartburn
and reduce the risk of getting a hiatal hernia, an ailment which
affects almost a third of French people. Now I’ve always considered
a belch as much more repulsive than a fart. I consider a belch
nothing more than a fart that is so foul the asshole turned it
down.
I don’t know if there is any strong medical evidence to either
support or refute Dr. Saldmann’s claims, but he backs up what
my grandfather always said, “Let loose and apologize later, you’ll
live longer.” At least that’s what I think he said, since what
he said was in German, “Furz entschuldigt sich dann, Sie werden
länger leben.”
I don’t think that the tourist industry of France will be hurt
by a more liberal attitude towards passing gas or belching after
meals, there are a lot of outdoor cafes and the springtime zephyrs
will waft the offensive gasses away.
What is more problematic is his recommendation to throw out anti-perspirants.
Dr. Saldmann writes, “To block sweat not only stops the elimination
of toxins, but also a certain number of messages that are potentially
very attractive to the opposite sex.”
A population of fetid Frenchmen however, could turn away all but
the most nasally congested tourists. Imagine not only seeing the
chorus line at Les Folies Bergère, but smelling them too!
The Bad Sied 
|
| |
|
| |
|
Speak
right up!
|
| |
On this day in history, May
21, 1932: Amelia Earhart set her plane down in a field in Derry,
Northern Ireland, becoming the first woman to fly solo across the
Atlantic. She chose the five year anniversary of Charles Lindbergh’s
first solo flight and she, too, planned to land in Paris. She encountered
strong northerly winds, icy conditions, and mechanical problems
en route. She took off from Harbour Grace, Newfoundland and 14 hours
and 56 minutes later landed in Ireland. A farm hand came upon her
plane and asked if she had flown far. “From America,” she answered.
Earhart was born in 1897 and was the first woman to receive the
Distinguished Flying Cross, awarded for this Atlantic crossing.
Frank Hawks gave young Amelia an airplane ride on December 28, 1920
and changed her life. She took her first flying lesson on January
3, 1921 and within six months not only could she fly, she purchased
her first plane. She was the 16th woman to receive a pilot’s license
(No. 6017).
“After midnight the moon set and I was alone
with the stars. I have often said that the lure of flying is the
lure of beauty, and I need no other flight to convince me that the
reason flyers fly, whether they know it or not, is the esthetic
appeal of flying.”
“Flying may not be all plain sailing, but the fun of it is worth
the price.”
“The woman who can create her own job is the woman who will win
fame and fortune.” – all from Amelia Earhart
|
| |
|
|
Email
Kirsten
“No diet
will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely
fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do
is run for public office.”
~ George Bernard Shaw ~
It was a dark and rainy morning the day I went to confront The
Enemy. It was a long overdue confrontation. For years, The Enemy
had been following my every move, watching everything I did, taunting
me, torturing me, becoming more and more powerful. It was a presence
that was all-consuming yet somehow elusive and hard to pin down.
But all of that was about to change. I headed out into the foul
weather to come face to face with The Enemy and see exactly what
I was up against. As I rode the subway to my destination, The
Enemy was right there with me. I sensed that it was quivering
a little bit, as if it knew it was about to be revealed, and that
a plan was in progress to ensure its demise.
At my destination,
I said good morning to the permanently cheerful Wendy-At-Reception.
A nice lady named Erin met me at the front desk, and I followed
her through the early morning crowds to an office that had a small
machine lurking in the corner. I took off my shoes and socks,
allowed Erin to put metal thingies on the ends of my fingers,
and stood on the platform of the machine. Less than thirty seconds
later, I saw it. The Enemy, in all its ghastly glory. My Body
Fat Percentage. A scary number that puts me just on the wrong
side of the line separating the Obese from the merely Fat.
Since I started
the Body for Life Challenge just over three weeks ago, I have
lost a total of eight pounds. All that means, though, is that
the cumulative weight of my skin, muscle, bones, and other bodily
bits and pieces is eight pounds less than it was three weeks ago.
The body
composition analysis I had done tells me how much of my weight
is lean mass (muscle), and how much is fat. As I have a series
of analyses done over a period of time, I will be able to tell
just how much of my weight loss is fat loss and how much is muscle
loss. If I conduct my exercise and nutrition programs correctly,
I will gain muscle mass and lose fat. The overall weight could
technically increase or decrease; since my body fat percentage
is on the high side, I am likely to lose weight overall.
I was at a workshop today that helped debunk a few myths and clarify
how the actual weight loss process actually works. Here are a
few of the things I learned:
1) Dieting without exercise does not cause fat loss. It just results
in fewer calories being fed to the muscles, resulting in muscle
loss. The dieter starts experiencing lower energy levels, and
increases caloric intake to compensate. But in the absence of
exercise, the weight comes back in the form of fat. The end result?
Lower muscle mass and higher fat mass.
2) I always used to think that at the beginning of an exercise
program, fat was converted to muscle. This is not the case. Muscle
formation and fat loss are two separate processes that happen
to occur in parallel during a properly coordinated exercise and
nutrition program.
3) Cardio exercise alone is not the best way to lose body fat
for most people. The benefit really comes from a combination of
cardio exercise and resistance training.
4) It is not possible to lose fat from specific parts of the body.
Regardless of what part of the body is being exercised, the body
will draw energy from fat stores located throughout the body.
What does happen, though, is increased muscle mass in targeted
areas.
Now that I’ve seen the extent of The Enemy and had some time to
get over the initial shock, I’m not so overwhelmed. I’m just going
to use bullying tactics to make it go away.
Kaleidoscopically
yours,
Kirsten
|
|
| |
I had fun at work today. You see, they are building a brand
new entrance to our brand new library. This involves some asbestos
removal, so they had to close down a section of our hallway.
Understand that our office is right across from the current
entrance, so most people that come in through that entrance
are looking for the student mailboxes, delivering something
to our mail room, looking for our print shop, or headed for
our bookstore. You can’t get to any of those places through
that entrance anymore unless you want to walk in the wrong direction,
climb a flight of stairs, walk back down the hall, go down a
flight of stairs, and then walk to the office you were originally
headed to.
The other option is to walk back out that entrance, through
the parking lot, and back in through the door at the other end
of the hall. But there’s still a sign outside our office that
says you have to go –> that way to get to those offices.
If you turn that way, there are fire doors that are usually
open but are now closed. You can still walk through them, but
then you are faced with plastic sheeting that covers the hall.
There is no way to get through. There are windows in the fire
doors so you can see that you can’t get through, so most people
just stood in front of our office door looking down the hall,
then looking at the sign outside our office saying that’s the
way to go, and then looking at the hall they can’t go down.
I love watching people, so this was great fun for me. I’d usually
wait a few seconds to see if they’d figure it out by themselves.
There are some people that figured it out right away, probably
because there was an e-mail sent to everyone saying that the
hallway would be closed and they had already figured out how
they would handle it, they just forgot today was the day it
was going to close. There was a student that was checking her
mail box for mail, ignoring the sign that said all mailboxes
had been emptied. The sign also says all the mailboxes have
been emptied and you have to go to the mail room to get your
mail. I was walking back to my office when I saw a student checking
her empty mailbox. To be fair to her, the sign is posted rather
high and she is kinda short, but I still enjoyed telling her
that her mail is in the mail room right down the hallway she
couldn’t pass through.
Joe walked in once half-way through the day and turned to go
through the the blocked off corridor to get back to his office,
but I’m sure he was thinking of other things. The President
of the College normally walks down that hall and he did the
same thing. They recovered nicely, but what really got me was
when one of our professors (those people with way too many letters
after their names) stopped, looked, and stayed stopped. She
looked again. She looked at the sign that said the mail room
was in Room 9, and she checked again to make sure our office
number is double digits. Her mail *had* to be that way –>,
but she couldn’t figure out how to get “that way –>”.
Do you know how hard it is not to snicker when you are giving
directions to someone that has the alphabet after their name?
Tim a’Musing
Having a Ball with Directions
|
| |
Never
heat pesto sauce - the basil will turn black and taste bitter. -
Peggy in Tonawanda, New York
|
| |
Good
ones!
Next opening line…
My kid brought me home a surprise…
Hints:
There’s a great rhyming dictionary at http://www.rhymezone.com/
Limerick rules. http://freespace.virgin.net/merrick.sheldon/limerickrules.htm
Submit
Opening Line
Submit
Limerick
A
salesman just knocked on my door
Selling wax to polish my floor
He was cute, smart, and lean
So I bought fifteen
And maybe today I would score. - Linda in Pennsylvania
|
A
salesman just knocked on my door
Expected decline for a chore
But a message he had
And it wasn’t that bad
Plant a tree on behalf of Al Gore. - Maria in Illinois |
A
salesman just knocked on my door
He asked questions I would ignore
He then got a clue
A signal he’s through
When I yawned, since he was a bore. - Maria in Illinois |
A
salesman just knocked on my door
“Your purchase will make you want more!”
I stopped him right there
And cautioned “Beware!”
My rhino knows the command, “Gore!” - Maria in Illinois |
A
salesman just knocked on my door
Inside he saw there were four more
With a lesson to learn
Which was not to return
As I am exceedingly poor. - Maria in Illinois |
A
salesman just knocked on my door…
and he said “You need a new floor”…
so he showed me tile
for quite a long while
until I gave in and bought more. - Cassandra in New York |
A
salesman just knocked on my door;
Quick, pick the things up off the floor.
He’ll certainly want to clean,
Demonstrating his machine,
And I won’t have to do it anymore. - Bonnie in Louisiana |
|
|
| |
|
Re:
Morehouse Minority Issues
No one wants to appear racist in today’s world. I don’t really
understand why African-Americans feel it is okay to say racist
things and then blame it on the past while European-Americans
aren’t given the same option. I don’t even know why it is African-Americans
but not European-Americans. I guess our very own African-American
would be Kirsten if you consider that she is from South Africa
and moved to Canada, part of the Americas.
The members
of my family who are black have more generations between them
and Africa than I do between me and Europe. Language is such a
tricky thing. - European-American Patti
In reference to today’s article. It doesn’t matter what skin color
you have, children aren’t born prejudiced, they are taught, at
home, school, society in general.
Why is it ok for one group to be prejudiced and not another? By
no means am I saying that this is right, but I dislike the double
edge sword. We should all comply by the same rules, not make excuses
because your grandad’s dad was a slave, which I don’t agree with.
Slavery is wrong, but I didnt’ do it and neither did the people
living in our society today.
I think it’s wonderful that this young man was named valedictorian,
obviously he earned it by working hard for it. Congradulations
to you!!! Those remarks were uncessary and demeaning. Make public
apologies? You’re darn right. If it’s wrong, it’s wrong across
the board, no exceptions. If it’s right, then it too should be
right across the board, no exceptions. The way things stand now,
how can prejudice end when we enforce it by examples such as this?
- Helene
Some years ago a white wanted to enroll in Fort Valley State,
a predominately black college in middle Georgia. A black student
there was being interviewed on the subject and was asked his feelings;
he didn’t like it because, as he said, “It is predominately black”.
Prior to that so was UGA, and a lot of other schools.
It seems they want to have their cake and eat it, too. As to racial
slurs: a white makes a racial remark, or evenone misconstrued
as such (Jimmy the Greek for instance; he was historically correct)
and the blacks are after his/her scalp…but when the shoe is
on the other foot… As to hate crimes… I saw either on TV or
in the paper that more blacks than whites have been convicted
of hate crimes. - Skeeter, Forest Park, Georgia
Re: Kirsten’s Boo Boo
Kirsten, I’ve been suffering
for 13 days with only one fully functional arm. I fell trying
to roller blade and at my advanced age, that was sheer stupidity
at the start. I didn’t break anything, but injured my ulnar nerve.
I still don’t have full range of motion in my arm, nor do I have
any grip strength. However, I can type two handed as long as I
don’t try to go overboard and do it all day. You have my deepest
sympathy. - crippled Patti
Re: Tim and Spell Check
Tim, Your very own guest writer, Deb, introduced me to a very
wonderful little add-on. It is a spell checker and works in the
little windows of web pages. I have found it to be quite useful.
Of course, as I tried to teach students over the years, spell
check and proofread are two different things. One small child
wanted to know where the ‘proofread button’ was located - large
sigh. - SpCheck Patti
Re: Prison Diet Plan
To sied: I can agree
that prisoners shouldn’t be punished for filing frivolous lawsuits,
mostly because they can’t file those by themselves. Maybe if there
is some kind of punishment for the lawyers, (something monetary),
who encourage their clients to file frivolous lawsuits, the courts
would get some relief from them. - Margee Lee
I’m
all in favor of punishing lawyers. Unfortunately a majority of
the “frivolous ” lawsuits are filed by prisoners without an attorneys
assistance. I wrote “frivolous ” because a lot of them are just
complaints about the brand of peanut butter served or the softness
of the toilet paper. But some are filed concerning brutality and
abuse also. Most prisons have a very extensive library of “legal”
material so prisoners can do a lot of the preparatory work on
their own cases and appeals, saving some or all of the lawyers
fees. In fact, the “filing fee” for a lawsuit is often waived
for prisoners. Here’s some interesting reading on the subject.
While this is for Michigan, it’s similar in many states: (Found
at Information
on How to File Lawsuits without an Attorney)
Jailhouse Lawyer’s Handbook
A resource for prisoners who wish to file a lawsuit in federal
court regarding poor conditions in prison or abuse by prison staff.
Proceeding
in Forma Pauperis
Provides and overview of how prisoners can file lawsuits without
an attorney.
How
to File a Complaint in Forma Pauperis
Explains how to file a complaint without an attorney.
Exhaustion
of Remedies
Explains that prisoners must “exhaust” their administrative remedies
before filing a lawsuit.
Three
Strikes Rule and Payment of Filing Fees
Explains that prisoner who files three frivolous lawsuit is barred
from filing more cases without paying the filing fee; also explains
filing fee rules. The Bad Sied
Re: Mom, the Princess
I’d like to thank Tim for asking me to fill in. It was my pleasure.
I’d also like to thank Bruce for making me edit my 1400 words
to less than 1000 and running the 1400 word version anyway. It
must have something to do with my irresistible female wiles and
royal charm. Face it, you can’t get enough of me. - Deborahhh
I’d
like to thank Debbie for filling in for me on Friday, but there
is just One Question I must ask Bruce:
How did you get a woman to talk about losing weight *and* going
to a wedding in less than 1,000 words?  Tim
[It’s my irresistible
charm and my oozing animal magnetism, Tim! Also, I told her 1400
words was too long! ]
Then why did you
print her 1400 word version? I suggest you check the effectiveness
of your irresistible charm and oozing animal magnetism.. 
- Tim
Re: Dad Jailed; Daughter Not
To Tim: I have to say these two examples (dad in jail for daughter
and kid suspended over concession stand) are perfect examples
of how stupid some adults, groups and bureaucracies can be. But,
since when is it Orwellian for parents to be held responsible
for the actions of their underage children? - Margee Lee
Re: Babies and Bedtime
Kirsten, I meant to submit this earlier, but time got away from
me. I am going to give you some parenting advice - really good
advice. It was the best thing I ever read in any parenting book
or magazine and I used it religiously.
When saying ‘no’ to a child, give the reason. There are two benefits
to this. First, we as parents will just get in a habit of saying
no because it is easy. If you have to give a reason, you keep
yourself from getting into that rut. Second, it tells the child
the ‘no’ is not arbitrary and with reasons, there’s really no
way you are going to change your mind. For example, if a child
asks for a cookie and you just say ‘no’ they will usually try
again either immediately or in the very near future. But if you
say, ‘no, we are going to have lunch in 15 minutes’ they get to
see that it is not arbitrarily you showing off about total control
of the cookie jar, but instead you have a real reason.
As my kids got older, they would ask on Monday if they could do
something on Saturday. I would tell them that if I had to answer
immediately the answer would be ‘no’ because no child has ever
whined when a no changed to a yes later. But if you tell a child
on Monday they can do something on Saturday and then time conspires
against you and you have to rescind the permission, they act like
you just ‘lopped their head off’ as Tim keeps saying. So my answer
would be ‘probably, unless you need a definite answer and then
it is no.’ They did learn to live with the probably option. -
Nana Patti
Reader Submission
This is a good one! I can’t even believe it! We learn something
new everyday! I had to go into the kitchen and check this out
for myself. Who ever looks at the end of your aluminum foil box?
What a fantastic idea. Now, if someone would just make plastic
wrap that didn’t stick to itself.
I’ve been using aluminum foil for more years than I care to remember.
Great stuff, but sometimes it can be a pain. You know, like when
you are in the middle of doing something and you try to pull some
foil out and the roll comes out of the box. Then you have to put
the roll back in the box and start over. The darn roll always
comes out at the wrong time.
Well, I would like to share this with you. Yesterday I went to
throw out an empty Reynolds foil box and for some reason I turned
it and looked at the end of the box. And written on the end it
said, “Press here to lock end”. Right there on the end of the
box is a tab to lock the roll in place. How long has this little
locking tab been there? I then looked at a generic brand of aluminum
foil and it had one, too. I then looked at a box of Saran wrap
and it had one too! I can’t count the number of times the Saran
wrap roll has jumped out when I was trying to cover something
up.
I’m sharing this with my friends. If you already know this, delete
this message and don’t email me and make me feel dumber that I
already feel !! I hope I’m not the only person that didn’t know
about this.
I received this from my sister, passed it on to several more friends,
and no one knew about this. I immediately jumped up and both my
generic foil and Saran Wrap had the little things to poke. Waxed
paper did not even though it mine was made by Reynolds. I figure
I can reach more people here and help smarten up the world at
large. - Patti
To reignite the Global
Warming debate, Chris in Utah has sent a link to a petition signed
by 31,072 American scientists, including 9,021 with PhD’s, saying
GW is not human caused.
http://www.petitionproject.org/index.html
|
| |
Disclaimer- All quotes printed in this publication are believed
to be accurately attributed, but no guarantees are made that some
incorrectly attributed, or even outright false quotes won’t get
in here from time to time. I assure readers that I will do
my best to weed out incorrect quotes, and will print a retraction
as soon as I become aware of any errors. |
Click here to see the archives of past issues, or go to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/reallygoodquotes/messages.
If you run across something really outstanding when perusing the
archives, I’d appreciate it if you’d mail me at TheBestOfRGQ@yahoo.com
and point it out to me. I’m in the process of compiling an
e-book called, not surprisingly, The Best of RGQ, and I’d like to
hear from you which pieces impacted you the most. |
| Questions?
Comments? Want to contribute a joke or a quote or an image? Feel
free to e-mail
at reallygoodquotes@yahoo.com.
We’d love to hear from you! We’ll even publish your comments,
if they make any sense! 
If
you’d like to receive RGQ by email, please send a blank e-mail
to reallygoodquotes-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
We
can’t imagine why you’d want to, but if you choose to unsubscribe,
please send a blank e-mail to reallygoodquotes-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com.
Should you choose to unsubscribe, please e-mail
us and tell us why. We listen to what people say, even if
they’re leaving us.
|
